I was accused of being a Russian Spy, though the actually language used was a bit more colorful.
In Soviet Russia, car drives you!
Where did varsity soccer in Maine come into play?
I'm in Sr's and we've just humped out to our first bivouac. The sun set half an hour ago and there's no moon. Every pair of candidates (think rack mates) are carrying ONE half each of a hooch, one half tent-the other half poles, rope, pins. My responsibility was the poles, etc half. Reach down into my pack and guess what I find? Not the poles, pins, rope etc. Seems when we were packing our gear, I was distracted by some goofy "game" and my poles ended up in my footlocker. So, I get to make the walk to SI's area and announce (to the heavy nonetheless) my buffoonery. Did he scream? Did I do pushups until sun up? Did I pay for the rest of my time there?
No. He handed me his gear, spoke to me in "French", and told me to disappear. Talking about anticlimatic.
"GySgt, this candidate has a sore throat." Man, they all let him have it.
I guess some of the Jrs. had been told by Srs. that if you didn't want to be there you only had to say "I don't wish to be here." and they would let you DOR. Well, the CO gave us a speech and all, telling us that once we entered our respective classrooms, we couldn't leave until after four weeks. Then we got picked up, and life that day was a living hell. That night, some poor soul over in 1'st platoon failed to report properly to a SI or something, and over the screaming of the SI, punctuated by kicks to a wall locker, we hear a wavering voice call out "I don't wish to be here!"
As if on que, both SIs in my squadbay and all of his platoon staff says "Awww!! He doesn't wish to be here!!" and then proceeded to laugh at him, and probably wear him out some more.
There was the one day where anytime anyone would go up and pound on the door to ask a question or whatever they would get interrupted:
Cand: "Good evening gentlemen, candidate X requests permission to speak -"
SI: "YOU DORing???"
Cand: "No Ssgt"
SI: "GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME"
this game was played about 15 times in a row before he got tired of it I guess.
Ok here is mine. I was in Alpha Company 3rd platoon for 10 before I got NPQ'd. Stress fracture that the doc says I had probably 3 weeks before I left. Oh well.
So its the first morning after pickup and we are all running out the squad bay. Well as I am running I am trying to adjust my cover and had my head down. Well I run straight into that small brick building next to the barracks, which knocks me out. I come to and SSGT Koonts is yelling at me to get the hell up. One of the other SI's comes over asks me how many fingers he is holding up. WHich I was able to get right. So I get up and run over and get in formation. Well during all that I split my nose open a little, chipped two teeth and busted up my knee a little. So after chow we ran during PT, and Color's decides to run with my squad. Of course he asks why I am limping a little and I get to tell him what happened. His response, Don't run into any more walls.
During a mail call one of our guys recieved a package. So the SNC had to go up and open the package and show the contents to the SI doing mail call. Well he opens it up and just stands there for a minute. The SSgt goes "Well! What the hell is in it!" The SNC just goes "SSgt, this candidate believes that this package was intended for the Candidate ______ in Charlie Company." And the SSgt just goes "How do you know theres a candidate ______ in Charlie Company." And the SNC pulls out a several pairs of womens underwear and socks and just goes "Just a guess SSgt." The whole platoon and the SI just start snickering. The SI is trying really hard not to laugh but and just chuckling while he says "Shut the Piss up, its not funny."
Then about 3 weeks later I run into candidate ______ from Charlie Company on sick call. First thing I said to her as a smart ass was "Hey candidate, how is the situation going with your underwear." To which shes looking at me like Im the biggest prick in the world. And then I told her "Candidate ______ who got your package is my rackmate." She thought that was funny as hell. Apparently when her SI gave her the opened package she said there must be some nasty pervs over in Alpha Company.
I find all of these stories incredibly funny. I think once you've been there you can just see it all happening.
One more:
I guess some of the Jrs. had been told by Srs. that if you didn't want to be there you only had to say "I don't wish to be here." and they would let you DOR.