Your OCS Experience

[Lawman]

I was accused of being a Russian Spy, though the actually language used was a bit more colorful.

 

[Zilch]

I was accused of being a Russian Spy, though the actually language used was a bit more colorful.

In Soviet Russia, car drives you!

 

[Lawman]

In Soviet Russia, car drives you!

Lesson learned, dont speak any language other then Candidate English at OCS.

 

[Banjo33]

I'm in Sr's and we've just humped out to our first bivouac. The sun set half an hour ago and there's no moon. Every pair of candidates (think rack mates) are carrying ONE half each of a hooch, one half tent-the other half poles, rope, pins. My responsibility was the poles, etc half. Reach down into my pack and guess what I find? Not the poles, pins, rope etc. Seems when we were packing our gear, I was distracted by some goofy "game" and my poles ended up in my footlocker. So, I get to make the walk to SI's area and announce (to the heavy nonetheless) my buffoonery. Did he scream? Did I do pushups until sun up? Did I pay for the rest of my time there?


No. He handed me his gear, spoke to me in "French", and told me to disappear. Talking about anticlimatic.

 

[maineiac515]

Where did varsity soccer in Maine come into play?

I was just making the point that I have had experience getting yelled at and insulted by other people. Plus I like to make fun of maine as often as possible, in this case I was able to get a question answered and make fun of my home state...two birds.

 

[theblakeness]

I'm in Sr's and we've just humped out to our first bivouac. The sun set half an hour ago and there's no moon. Every pair of candidates (think rack mates) are carrying ONE half each of a hooch, one half tent-the other half poles, rope, pins. My responsibility was the poles, etc half. Reach down into my pack and guess what I find? Not the poles, pins, rope etc. Seems when we were packing our gear, I was distracted by some goofy "game" and my poles ended up in my footlocker. So, I get to make the walk to SI's area and announce (to the heavy nonetheless) my buffoonery. Did he scream? Did I do pushups until sun up? Did I pay for the rest of my time there?


No. He handed me his gear, spoke to me in "French", and told me to disappear. Talking about anticlimatic.

haha..I think after an incident like that I would have lost a few hours of sleep just trying to figure what the hell just happened!

 

[Slammer2]

We were standing in the pouring rain waiting to hump back from the day land nav. I was squad leader so I'm standing there in the front with my pack on for like 45 minutes not moving. I closed my eyes while we were waiting for like a minute or so and then the platoon Sgt happened to see me.

Gysgt: "Oh good you wanna sleep huh candidate?"

He made me go ahead and sleep so I closed my eyes. That wasnt good enough. He said "no get down" so I sat down and he told me to lay down. So I'm laying there on top of my pack with my head up in kind of a half crunch position looking at him because hes screaming at me and i'm responding back and forth the whole time. He makes me put my head all the way down and close my eyes. When he walks away I get back up and wait in line again.

GySgt: "what the ****!! I told your ass to get the **** down, etc..."

so I get back down and stay this time having learned my lesson. He comes back like 5 minutes later with a bunch of staff from the other platoons to come and see what he made me do (it was really funny).

GySgt: "Hey there candidate, we enjoying our little nap?"
Me: "no gysgt!!"
GySgt: "oh yeah we are. What are we dreaming about?"
Me: "nothing gysgt" (trying to just get the hell out of this and stand back up)
GySgt: "Not dreaming huh? Well count sheep then"
Me: "aye gysgt!!"
GySgt: "no out loud mother ****er"
Me: "aye gysgt!! ONE...TWO...THREE"
GySgt: "no thats one sheep gysgt...two sheep gysgt..."

I made it up to about 30 some or so before the platoon commander saw me and made me stand back up, now completely covered in mud fro mthe pouring rain. Gysgt comes back in a minute and sees me standing up and makes me get back down and do it again. Essay for failing to follow simple instructions. Plt Cmdr comes back and sees me back down. Essay for failing to follow simple instructions.

Good times.

 

[tegtag]

MCMAP with rifles. We were practicing our thrusts and butt strokes in combinations across the PT field. We were also duty platoon that day so the SI from my platoon was the only staff member there. He sees me stuggle to get the footwork down for the combination. In addition my war cry was dwindling as my focus went to my feet.

SSgt: Candidate get over here.
Me: Aye, SSgt.
(approaching him on the parade deck)
SSgt: Get off my parade deck.
Me: Aye, SSgt.
SSgt. Are you stupid or something?
Me: No, SSgt.
SSgt: But you can't get the simple combinations down.
Me: Aye, SSgt (the standard answer instead of arguing)
SSgt: Here's what I want you to do. Instead of that pathetic war cry I want you to say "I'm an idiot." You understand candidate?
Me: Yes, SSgt.
*SSgt points to the rest of the platoon and I rejoin them.
Me: Aye, SSgt. Good afternoon, SSgt.

Vertical but stroke "I'M" Butt thrust "AN" Bayonet thrust "IDIOT"

SSgt: I can't hear you candidate!

"I'M!" "AN!" "IDIOT!"

One and only time I referred to myself in first person.

 

[Kiloco_2plt]

I find all of these stories incredibly funny. I think once you've been there you can just see it all happening.

I remember the day we did the IMC. We were all dirty, but dry (they made us change out of our wet cammies into dry ones) and all standing in company formation, waiting patiently for our candidate company staff to get something or other done. The water buffalos were empty, we were all tired and thirsty. Our company staff had told us to pour the water from our canteens over our bodies to get some of the **** off, so we had no water. Evidently, the staff was pretty tired too, because they started looking for things to do, if you know what I mean. Some SNC walked by my Plt. Sgt. and both SIs, and said his proper greeting in some whisper-voice. Of course they verbally jerked him around and inquired why he hadn't sounded off, and his response? "GySgt, this candidate has a sore throat." Man, they all let him have it.

One more:
I guess some of the Jrs. had been told by Srs. that if you didn't want to be there you only had to say "I don't wish to be here." and they would let you DOR. Well, the CO gave us a speech and all, telling us that once we entered our respective classrooms, we couldn't leave until after four weeks. Then we got picked up, and life that day was a living hell. That night, some poor soul over in 1'st platoon failed to report properly to a SI or something, and over the screaming of the SI, punctuated by kicks to a wall locker, we hear a wavering voice call out "I don't wish to be here!"
As if on que, both SIs in my squadbay and all of his platoon staff says "Awww!! He doesn't wish to be here!!" and then proceeded to laugh at him, and probably wear him out some more.

 

[Slammer2]

"GySgt, this candidate has a sore throat." Man, they all let him have it.

i can imagine. You should have seen the fun they had with one candidate who came back from medical and told the staff that he was put on a gatorade diet. I guess the med staff told him to drink as much of the crap as possible and he relayed that message by saying he was on a "gatorade diet". An incredibly hilarious 8 minutes followed.

I guess some of the Jrs. had been told by Srs. that if you didn't want to be there you only had to say "I don't wish to be here." and they would let you DOR. Well, the CO gave us a speech and all, telling us that once we entered our respective classrooms, we couldn't leave until after four weeks. Then we got picked up, and life that day was a living hell. That night, some poor soul over in 1'st platoon failed to report properly to a SI or something, and over the screaming of the SI, punctuated by kicks to a wall locker, we hear a wavering voice call out "I don't wish to be here!"
As if on que, both SIs in my squadbay and all of his platoon staff says "Awww!! He doesn't wish to be here!!" and then proceeded to laugh at him, and probably wear him out some more.

There was the one day where anytime anyone would go up and pound on the door to ask a question or whatever they would get interrupted:

Cand: "Good evening gentlemen, candidate X requests permission to speak -"
SI: "YOU DORing???"
Cand: "No Ssgt"
SI: "GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME"

this game was played about 15 times in a row before he got tired of it I guess.

 

[Kiloco_2plt]

There was the one day where anytime anyone would go up and pound on the door to ask a question or whatever they would get interrupted:

Cand: "Good evening gentlemen, candidate X requests permission to speak -"
SI: "YOU DORing???"
Cand: "No Ssgt"
SI: "GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME"

this game was played about 15 times in a row before he got tired of it I guess.

That is absolutely awesome... I can see one of them doing that too.

Towards the end of week 5, some guy still couldn't bang on the hatch and report properly. One of the SIs from first plt. was over in our duty hut with our dutyI for the day. Right after the guy started screaming out his proper greeting of the day, they would echo his knock from the inside and interrupt him. That went on for a good 20 minutes before my SI finally got tired of it and came flying out to chew him out.

 

[gobears2000]

Ok here is mine. I was in Alpha Company 3rd platoon for 10 before I got NPQ'd. Stress fracture that the doc says I had probably 3 weeks before I left. Oh well.

So its the first morning after pickup and we are all running out the squad bay. Well as I am running I am trying to adjust my cover and had my head down. Well I run straight into that small brick building next to the barracks, which knocks me out. I come to and SSGT Koonts is yelling at me to get the hell up. One of the other SI's comes over asks me how many fingers he is holding up. WHich I was able to get right. So I get up and run over and get in formation. Well during all that I split my nose open a little, chipped two teeth and busted up my knee a little. So after chow we ran during PT, and Color's decides to run with my squad. Of course he asks why I am limping a little and I get to tell him what happened. His response, Don't run into any more walls.

I remember seeing you running into the brick wall, and when I went over to help, I was told to get the f*ck away and get in formation. I am glad to hear that you are doing well. We are really sorry to lose you so early on, but I hope you get to go back stronger than ever next year. Alpha 3 all the way. Just wish we had done a little better at the pugil sticks...

 

[gobears2000]

During a mail call one of our guys recieved a package. So the SNC had to go up and open the package and show the contents to the SI doing mail call. Well he opens it up and just stands there for a minute. The SSgt goes "Well! What the hell is in it!" The SNC just goes "SSgt, this candidate believes that this package was intended for the Candidate ______ in Charlie Company." And the SSgt just goes "How do you know theres a candidate ______ in Charlie Company." And the SNC pulls out a several pairs of womens underwear and socks and just goes "Just a guess SSgt." The whole platoon and the SI just start snickering. The SI is trying really hard not to laugh but and just chuckling while he says "Shut the Piss up, its not funny."

Then about 3 weeks later I run into candidate ______ from Charlie Company on sick call. First thing I said to her as a smart ass was "Hey candidate, how is the situation going with your underwear." To which shes looking at me like Im the biggest prick in the world. And then I told her "Candidate ______ who got your package is my rackmate." She thought that was funny as hell. Apparently when her SI gave her the opened package she said there must be some nasty pervs over in Alpha Company.

You must be in A3 because I remember the candidate...last name starts with "G". Yeah, that was freaking hilarious.

Here's my funny story.

After nearly 10 weeks at OCS, Candidates tend to just automatically take instructions from the staff without second thoughts. It was the second to last night, and the entire platoon had already got into the racks, but since I was the house mouse, I still needed to take the trash out from the duty hut, so I waited by the duty hut while the Platoon Sergeant gave his nightly motivational speech. When GySgt was done with the nightly ritual, the squadbay was dead silent, and he came up to me and asked what I was looking for. I told him that I would like to get his email address as I was compiling the Alpha 3 directory. This is the dialogue:

• Me: "Gunnery Sergeant, this candidate is compiling the Alpha 3 contact list, and wants to know if the Platoon Sergeant would like his contact included."
• GySgt H: "Yeah, you want my email? It's xxx at deeznuts dot com."
• I was writing down the email address and after the "at" I paused and looked at him quizically because I didn't know how he wanted Deez nuts spelled.
• Me: "Gunnery Sergeant, ummm..."
• GySgt H: "You f*cking dumbass, you were going to write that down huh? You thought that was my email address?"
• Me: "Yes Gunnery Sergeant. It seemed legit Gunnery Sergeant."

The entire squadbay broke out in laughter...by then, things were pretty relaxed, and laughing was OK. I definitely got crap from the guys in my platoon for not knowing how to spell Deez nuts.

Story 2: Here's an actual conversation that took place during hygiene inspection.
Candidate: This Candidate has a rash, Staff Sergeant!
SSgt: Where is your rash?
Candidate: On this Candidate's ass, Staff Sergeant!
SSgt: Well, go wash your ass.

Story 3: Took place during our first inspection.
SSgt: Who is the first female Marine?
Candidate: The first female Marine is Jenna Jamieson.
SSgt: So the first female Marine is a f*cking porn star huh?
Candidate: Yes Staff Sergeant.

 

[Lawman]

Welcome to the forum House Mouse. 2nd Squad Hoorah!

 

[Spin]

I find all of these stories incredibly funny. I think once you've been there you can just see it all happening.

One more:
I guess some of the Jrs. had been told by Srs. that if you didn't want to be there you only had to say "I don't wish to be here." and they would let you DOR.

We had two candidates just bounce in the first week. They just got in their Cars and just left ... after the second guy left they collected all our car keys and we'd get em back right before Libo. SI said if they wanna leave Fu#k em but fi they took so mucha as one piece of his gear they would be hunted down and tortured.

Also, like 2 days after we got picked up we were taking our 30 second evening shower and we get a "Get on line right now" so we are all running out of the shower in our towels and we get a "Zero" ... "Freeze candidate freeze". So we are all frozen in odd positions in the middle of the squad bay. I'm facing my rackmate who is in some weird position with his leg up in the air. The SI is giving some speach about somthing with his back facing us and all of the sudden my boys towel just falls off of him onto the floor and he's butt naked with his leg up in the air and all. I try to keep my laughter in but I just can't. SI turns around to see me facing this naked guy, with his leg up and laughing. You can imagine what happend after that and the colorful language that was used. Looooong time ago.