To marry or not to marry...

[chasejj]

e6bflyer, good advice, and you bring me to another point...children. We would only want one if we have one at all. What are policies on kids? A year off? A month? or how does that work? Of course, not planning on having one until I'm atleast past 30... just always been curious on this matter of having children while having a career in the Navy. Thanks.

 

[KBayDog]

The most well-intentioned, sane, level-headed people become absolute blood sucking, money grubbing, irrational bitches/bastards when they get promoted to O-4.

Fixed it for you.

 

[wingsB4rings]

I often wonder how so many smart officer candidates (and officers) can be responsible for making such lousy personal decisions.

 

[chasejj]

"I often wonder how so many smart officer candidates (and officers) can be responsible for making such lousy personal decisions."
Because they dont consider all options before making a decision?

 

[smittyrunr]

e6bflyer, good advice, and you bring me to another point...children. We would only want one if we have one at all. What are policies on kids? A year off? A month? or how does that work? Of course, not planning on having one until I'm atleast past 30... just always been curious on this matter of having children while having a career in the Navy. Thanks.

As brief as I can make it:

You cannot be assigned to a deployable command (sea duty) while pregnant. (I have seen commands work around this) You cannot deploy if pregnant. You do not have to deploy for up to a year after giving birth (recently changed from 6 mos), but you can waive this on your own. If you are assigned to sea duty and get pregnant, you do not get the time off, you will be reassigned to a shore-based job. I think the DOD policy is 6 weeks maternity leave, but I'm not certain about that.

I'm not sure if you are applying for aviation or not, but if so: You cannot fly single piloted or ejection seat aircraft at all if pregnant. With flight surgeon and Commanding Officer approval, you can request to fly up to 26 weeks in other aircraft, subject to a number of other restrictions.

I think that covers most of the rules.

 

[chasejj]

That is close to what I figured. Thanks! And I am pretty surprised that you are allowed to fly at all while preggers... I'm going for SWO, Supply, and Intel though, so no need to worry there.

 

[wingsB4rings]

"I often wonder how so many smart officer candidates (and officers) can be responsible for making such lousy personal decisions."
Because they dont consider all options before making a decision?

Yeah, got that. It was a rhetorical comment. Underlying meaning is that it's a shame that some people can be taught everything but don't have a enough common sense to see what is right in front of their faces (and especially when everyone else can see it). I'm not singling you out at all, it's definitely a problem among a ton of young people. That's just me expecting an officer in any branch of the military to be able to make sound personal judgments, which, as you will soon see as you embark through your naval career, is not always the case.

 

[chasejj]

Haha And my comment was partially a joke. I have seen in life there are those just as you described and I fully expect it to be the same in the Navy...but with uniforms...

 

[MasterBates]

Don't do it. Period.

 

[trackgain]

I've seen a lot of enlisted get married by the JOP just for the extra money. My wife and I thought about it, but did not do that. It took us 3 years before I was squadron was settled enough for me to take leave to get married. My advice is like the others....wait, be in the Navy for a little bit, and then if you all are still together, then get married. Even though he is an Army Brat, he may not like following the military around. Good luck on being selected and making your decision.

 

[biograd06]

My situation is a little different...my boyfriend and I have talked about getting married, already intended on doing it, but OCS kinda sped things up a bit for us. So we will be getting married before I leave for OCS.
So what makes it "not a stupid decision" for us? He did 4 years enlisted, got out, and joined the National Guard...therefore, still enlisted. Officer/enlisted policies would prevent us from seeing each other if we're not married prior to my leaving.
He was on sea duty for 4 years, so he knows what it's like. We've also both been married before, so we're not jumping into it blind.

Just sharing my story.

 

[squorch2]

There are so many warning flags here I don't know where to begin.

 

[villanelle]

If you are at all concerned with having time to be with your future baby, the Navy is not the place for you.

Sure, you can manage to get a short hiatus from being deployed, but you will still likely be at sea for months and months at a time with an 18 month at home, and a 4 year old at home who knows just enough to know that mommy has left her. If you want great maternity leave, don't join the military. In fact, might I suggest Canada for that?

As for marriage, I am very firm believer in the notion that no one should get married unless and until they feel absolutely compelled to do so. Yes, you'd get a few extra dollars, healthcare, and the right for your husband to shop at the commisary. That really isn't much, and it certainly isn't enough to serve as motivation to enter into a legally binding contract that you are lukewarm -at best- about.

And as an FYI, I am a happily married Navy spouse, so it isn't like I am just blindly anti-marriage.

 

[Lawman]

no one should get married unless and until they feel absolutely compelled to do so.

To the original poster however. If you choose not to heed the pages and pages of advice given you, Ive got a ring Ill sell you cheap.

 

[FMRAM]

I love how first time posters like come on this site to ask for advice...get it (from winged commissioned officers) ...then figure that they are special and don't heed it.