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He-Man Woman Haters Club
- Thread starter picklesuit
- Start date
Hey Susie Homemaker, do you and your husband have a fallout shelter too stocked with Spam? While us guys might think that's "cool" of you to say, having a companion as submissive as this these days is boring in my opinion.
I'm not looking for a woman to STFU, pop out my babies, and have my dinner ready as I come home. Nice in theory, but talk about a boring marriage.
Elegant Emily
I love my husband!
You could say the same to Mr.Pickle.
Yeah...I can tell you as a 20 year military veteran and a 19 year marital vet, that attitude isn't conducive to a long and mutually rewarding partnership.
I stuck to that mantra my first 8 years in the SEAL Teams and learned quickly to have all the fun you want on the road, deployment, whatever but when you're home..that time is allotted to PMSing the marriage which then allows you to have a marriage to come home to after your next 6-9 month party with the guys. This becomes even more pertinent when you start having kids. I saw the light after a trusted mentor enlightened me that "In 20 years the Navy ain't going to be holding your hand walking with you and your deaf, broken body down the beach."
Lastly, don't forget the ever popular quote from one of my favorite movies:
"Hell if he were home takin' care of busniess...I'd be out of business!"
"Chet" from True Lies -
I've noticed that if PMS (no pun intended) is done correctly, significant other starts to enjoy time apart mixed in with the together time...so much that if I'm home too long, I hear "Isn't it time for you to go somewhere?" No joke, she says she tends to take a lot of things for granted (that I do) until I leave and she has to do them. Not sure what the right mix is because remember they're from Venus and guy rules don't translate well at all. Venus is non-linear after all.
I'm seeing a lot of posts from wives that say "hey, navy is #1", and that's great if you think and believe that, but it's sometimes a hard pill to swallow for people who aren't as sold on it. Regardless of what you think, the Navy is gonna come first. Always. And it may be easy to say in flight school or the RAG, but it's gonna get harder and harder to believe.
From what I've seen, it's not the long cruise...it's the little things...like the 2nd weekend duty in a row, the long nights in the middle of the week, the friday night boat hops, the flights two days before you leave on long cruise, the 2 week det 1 mo before long cruise where you end up flying twice.
What seems to sting most at home is the lack of predicatability and inability to have anything resembling a long term schedule. Mrs. Pags works a 9-5. So when I fly til 1am, I leave the house at 5pm. It sucks high fiving out the door a couple of nights in a row. After a couple of weeks of that, it makes that 9-5 job with a tie seem kind of nice.
Now put that schedule the week before you leave for long cruise. When that happened, my wife and I joked that I should have just left 1mo early and lived in the BOQ and we could have just called it a 6mo cruise vice a 5mo.
From what I've seen, it's not the long cruise...it's the little things...like the 2nd weekend duty in a row, the long nights in the middle of the week, the friday night boat hops, the flights two days before you leave on long cruise, the 2 week det 1 mo before long cruise where you end up flying twice.
What seems to sting most at home is the lack of predicatability and inability to have anything resembling a long term schedule. Mrs. Pags works a 9-5. So when I fly til 1am, I leave the house at 5pm. It sucks high fiving out the door a couple of nights in a row. After a couple of weeks of that, it makes that 9-5 job with a tie seem kind of nice.
Now put that schedule the week before you leave for long cruise. When that happened, my wife and I joked that I should have just left 1mo early and lived in the BOQ and we could have just called it a 6mo cruise vice a 5mo.
I've learned that if she says "You're sweet, but you could be nicer.", that I'm doing just fine in my relationship. Balance is key...just like spending too much time away from her or spending too much time together is unhealthy.
Also, anytime I have any illusions of freedom (which she is pretty good about overall), I still find myself having to go to Wal-Mart at 4 AM buying Kotex. Such shennanigans put me in my place real quick.
It's those little things that go a long way to allowing me the freedom to hang out with my friends whenever I want and spend countless hours on AirWarriors.
Also, anytime I have any illusions of freedom (which she is pretty good about overall), I still find myself having to go to Wal-Mart at 4 AM buying Kotex. Such shennanigans put me in my place real quick.
It's those little things that go a long way to allowing me the freedom to hang out with my friends whenever I want and spend countless hours on AirWarriors.
Clux4
Banned
Are you really serious about not having a submissive woman? She can be submissive and still be fun.
What is wrong with that, as long as you don't act like a dick about it.
I am not married but my mother retired very early in life to stay home and she loved it. Had a masters from Aggie in Computer Science. I don't think my father would say she was boring either.
I was dramatizing the point that lady made about saying women should shut up and let the husband make the rules because it's "his" house.
My mother is a stay at home mom, but my dad values her input. I'm sure your mother is also no push-over either. Which is where I was getting at with being "boring".
No offense, and yes, a minority position. I understand your arguments and the deck plates from which they spring. I do disagree, but it is your choice not mine nor anyone else's.
I have had three wives, outlived two, so may be a message in there!
The time to determine the "rules" is before you tie the knot, after is much too late. Yes, they change and will change over time but you need an understanding before you promise to live together for the remainder of your life. Rearing kids is a full time job for two people. Believe me. My hat is off to the "deployment widows" and the trials and tribulations they withstand.
I'll repeat something I posted in another thread...
1. The Navy does not love you. Your wife and kids do. That should help with how you prioritize your life.
2. Because at some point, the Navy is going to kick your butt out of the service. Hopefully, your wife doesn't do the same thing.
3. Now, WRT the Home maker vs active duty, deploying naval officer argument. I've done the deployment thing with 23 other crew members, flown in combat, set up remote det sites etc... And I think that is so much easier than a few days of taking care of our 4 rug rats. The JOs had to listen to me...my kids...not so much.:icon_tong
It's fine to blow off steam every once in a while...no marriage is perfect.
But to quote the great Tammi Wynette..."Just don't forget to who's taking you home..." Basically, if you want to hang out with the boys after you had it out with the wifey...fine...but keep in mind you are not getting lucky with them (you're not...are you?)...so start practicing those magic words: I'm sorry, dear.
(Note: My wife, reading over my shoulder and threatening me with a purple nurple, approved this message.
)
1. The Navy does not love you. Your wife and kids do. That should help with how you prioritize your life.
2. Because at some point, the Navy is going to kick your butt out of the service. Hopefully, your wife doesn't do the same thing.
3. Now, WRT the Home maker vs active duty, deploying naval officer argument. I've done the deployment thing with 23 other crew members, flown in combat, set up remote det sites etc... And I think that is so much easier than a few days of taking care of our 4 rug rats. The JOs had to listen to me...my kids...not so much.:icon_tong
It's fine to blow off steam every once in a while...no marriage is perfect.
But to quote the great Tammi Wynette..."Just don't forget to who's taking you home..." Basically, if you want to hang out with the boys after you had it out with the wifey...fine...but keep in mind you are not getting lucky with them (you're not...are you?)...so start practicing those magic words: I'm sorry, dear.
(Note: My wife, reading over my shoulder and threatening me with a purple nurple, approved this message.
)
TrickyFish
SNA
It makes me hopeful that there are still guys out there who at least acknowledge this possibility, rather than assuming that their experience with some small percentage of a population surely must apply to all 100%. Thank you.
I'll repeat something I posted in another thread...
1. The Navy does not love you. Your wife and kids do. That should help with how you prioritize your life.
2. Because at some point, the Navy is going to kick your butt out of the service. Hopefully, your wife doesn't do the same thing.
3. Now, WRT the Home maker vs active duty, deploying naval officer argument. I've done the deployment thing with 23 other crew members, flown in combat, set up remote det sites etc... And I think that is so much easier than a few days of taking care of our 4 rug rats. The JOs had to listen to me...my kids...not so much.:icon_tong
It's fine to blow off steam every once in a while...no marriage is perfect.
But to quote the great Tammi Wynette..."Just don't forget to who's taking you home..." Basically, if you want to hang out with the boys after you had it out with the wifey...fine...but keep in mind you are not getting lucky with them (you're not...are you?)...so start practicing those magic words: I'm sorry, dear.
(Note: My wife, reading over my shoulder and threatening me with a purple nurple, approved this message.
Good stuff. At the end of the line, you want your wife to be there. The Navy will come and go, be it in 8yrs or 30yrs, but at the end, you'll leave the Navy.
These remind me of a quotation that my dad keeps on his corkboard at work (he's a civilian) that says "You can love your wife, your kids, and even your dog, but you should never love your job because no matter how much you love it, it'll never love you back."