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He-Man Woman Haters Club

Fred

Registered User
Thank you very much Skypig!

Third, big freaking BS call on you guys for claiming that going out and getting wasted is an essential part of your career. It's just not true and you know it so stop pretending and grow up.

Military spouses sacrifice everything for the husband's career, and while yes it is a choice, you also chose to marry and therefore assume the responsibilities that come with that commitment. I would echo your "suck it up" and send it right back to you.


I’ve made sacrifices for my husband, just as he’s made them for me. Neither of us have sacrificed everything for each other, let alone the Navy or his career.
 

villanelle

Nihongo dame desu
Contributor
I’ve made sacrifices for my husband, just as he’s made them for me. Neither of us have sacrificed everything for each other, let alone the Navy or his career.

This.

And even if socializing wasn't an integral part of his career, I'd still want Husband to go out and have a drink or 6 with his friends. I don't even think of that a a sacrifice. What does "allowing" him a night out without me here and there really cost me?

I guess maybe it's fun for some people to dable in martyrdom, but if you are giving up "everything" for someone else, I think it is time to look at where your life went wrong. You shouldn't have to do that be be a military spouse, or to do anything else in life, and if you are you are doing Life wrong.

I have a career, great friends, and a very fufilling life; being a Navy spouse hasn't prevented any of that and I haven't even had to try very hard to make both work. If you truly ave none of that, I'm sorry. But it seems that was your choice because I can't see how it would be necessity based on what i know of this lifestyle.
 

mastbump

I live vicariously through myself.
pilot
I just went and hung out with a couple buddies and left the wife at home. I would have gone farther than 2 miles, but that's how long my leash is.
 

BurghGuy

Master your ego, and you own your destiny.
I just went and hung out with a couple buddies and left the wife at home. I would have gone farther than 2 miles, but that's how long my leash is.
yuk-yuk :)

A few years ago my friend had an argument with his wife about his drinking. After that, he started walking 10 miles a day. Saved his marriage. Last I heard he was spotted somewhere near Albuquerque.
 

Alpha_Echo_606

Does not play well with others!™
Contributor
My wife isn't so worried about where I am as that I'm OK. As long as I let my wife know I'm safe and sound it's not a big deal! :)
 

propwife

Witty User Title Goes Here
Villa -

Awesome post.

Pilotswife.. (or anyone else with sentiment on same wavelength)

I can only reply with what I personally know within my own marriage. There is an equal compromise and recognition. I don't feel that I've given it all up for my husband's career. While there were serious choices that needed to be made, times when I wasn't working I volunteered or furthered my education. I've worked full time and have been career driven on the fast track. I had my children and now have time to enjoy them while being home full time. As a provider, you can't ask for a more stellar guy. When times were lean, he was busting his butt doing extra projects to earn money. When he's on det, he's the one grilling out and being creative to liquidate what he can for the family. Does he go out and have a great time? Sure. He goes sightseeing and calls me from random places, sending photo text messages. He loves his family and misses us greatly. He had his 'cruise' where he spent free time wasted. He came. He saw. He moved on. Not all men are alcohol driven.. Still, man time is no different than our need for girl time. I'd go batcrazy, if I was never 'permitted' to go out with a girlfriend. Likewise, you better believe (including this morning).. I was up at 5 a.m. making him an egg sandwich before he left for PT and a big exam today. Shoot.. I was the one able to go back to bed for 2 hours before the kids needed to get up for school. He mowed our large yard, worked with our babies for 2 hours yesterday getting their training wheels off of their bikes!.. plus, had a study session with co-workers later that afternoon at the house and had to prepare his uniform for inspection today. So, he wants to drop a rod in the pond.. go for it!

Likewise, tomorrow morning I'll meet a girlfriend for coffee and breakfast.. oh yeah, and he receives his paper orders in a few weeks to stay here in Jax.. So, I'll be filling out a form for that Navy Spouse career advancement account and will be working on my education a little more this upcoming year.

It's all good.. it's called compromise. You never want to be in a partnership where you give 100% and receive nothing in return. You always loose. Carve out and create something for yourself in this lifestyle. For when he is in the fleet (guessing he is in training now).. those are times you'll be grateful that you didn't 'give it all up for him'. There are plenty of *us out there that have been through this carnival ride more than a few times and can say the spouses that do it successfully spend their time being proactive in this life.. not reminiscing on what they've lost because of their choice to marry a man in the service.
 
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