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Funniest thing on cruise / det

Sly1978

Living the Dream
pilot
I just came back to the boat from Iraq, and my roommates were still in country. Decide to take advantage of the "me" time with a video and self love. Midstroke I hear the cypher lock being used and the door swings open (my back is to the door). It's my buddy from down the P-way.

"What are you doing dude?"

"I'm jerking off, what does it look like?"

"Fair enough."

Turns out my roommates gave him the combo so he could borrow NCAA football, which is what he was doing...
You're not the only one. Flight schedule said my trailer mate in Kuwait would be flying into the evening. I didn't have to go into work until late at night so I decided to enjoy some "me" time. Next thing I know front door opens and there's my roommate.

(after a shocked pause) "Ummm...Do you want me to come back later?"

"No, man. The moment's gone. Mood's all wrong, now."

I hadn't looked outside to realize that visibility had gone down, thus cancelling the afternoon's flight schedule.
 

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
None
Contributor
The usual ready room crowd is gathered in the usual BS session.

Nugget Pilot says... "I need a new callsign.... I know! I think Snakeye would be cool!

Old Hand says... "That's a great callsign! You know.... retarded bomb.... retarded pilot!


Nugget.... "I need a new callsign...."
 

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
None
Contributor
I'm curious what his callsign turned out to be. Romeo Papa??
As I recall, it just turned out to be a derivation of his last name...
Nothing really special or anything... although he did temporarily use "Rugdance" after a talk with the admiral after he busted the buffer around Hinan Island in the Tonkin Gulf, and they were about to scramble MiGs after him.
(He was on his first night BARCAP... he joined the squadron on cruise. Was in radar trail of the lead. The RIO broke lock to show him the radar map of Hinan. They both missed the turn call from lead...and kept going straight... until a couple of Guard calls got them back on course)
 

Zissou

Banned
Not exactly on cruise but...

One of my classmates was an ensign long ago.

A stellar man, leader, and teammate.

We have a reunion every fall in Florida which, unfortunately for him, coincides with his birthday.

He checked in to his XO tour without eyebrows.
 

Catmando

Keep your knots up.
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
Have many, but here is one......

Our two crews off the last night recovery come into the Ready Room for the highly anticipated night's movie. Unexpectedly, the XO of the EA-6's comes into our ready room with a serious look, and our Skipper and he have a private conversation in the passageway.

Skipper returns, telling us that the last cycle had a severe EA-6 'radiation' leak. He said our last cycle crew had to report to sickbay, ASAP! – for "treatment". :D:D

Of course everyone was in on the joke… all the way up to the CO of the Enterprise… except for our two punked crews. ;) In sickbay, they were told they had to produce a "semen specimen" to be checked for "radiation damage."

They produced. :eek: Then they returned to a howling Ready Room and missed the 1st half of the best flick of the cruise!
 

Brett327

Well-Known Member
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Have many, but here is one......

Our two crews off the last night recovery come into the Ready Room for the highly anticipated night's movie. Unexpectedly, the XO of the EA-6's comes into our ready room with a serious look, and our Skipper and he have a private conversation in the passageway.

Skipper returns, telling us that the last cycle had a severe EA-6 'radiation' leak. He said our last cycle crew had to report to sickbay, ASAP! – for "treatment". :D:D

Of course everyone was in on the joke… all the way up to the CO of the Enterprise… except for our two punked crews. ;) In sickbay, they were told they had to produce a "semen specimen" to be checked for "radiation damage."

They produced. :eek: Then they returned to a howling Ready Room and missed the 1st half of the best flick of the cruise!
That's a standard one that gets done a lot, but the semen specimen is an awesome touch - insult to injury. :D

Brett
 

docpup

What is another word for theaurus?
We were in Singapore. During the evening fun, we used the maintenance frame work to avoid any unwanted "man" love from the working girls. Meaning, the guy wanting the action was the worker, a second guy was the Gender CDI, and myself (being an HM) was the Gender CDQAR. The thought was, I'm the Doc, I should know.

A buddy picked up a girl, we did the gender check system, and he departed for untold fun.

The next morning at chow, the buddy was telling us that his girl was SO HOT that she was lactating. Additionally, there was no penetration, just oral from her. I searched my medical database memory and realized that a "woman" will only lactate if with child, or a boy taking hormones to be a girl.

I said, "Dude, I think you went home with a man."

He said, "Fuck...THAT'S TWO!!!"
 

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
None
Contributor
We’re on the last line period of cruise and operating in the South China Sea west of Subic. Fixed-wing flight ops are secured, but helo ops are going on because we’re off-loading via VertRep most of our bombs and missiles to an ammunition ship that had come alongside. I’m standing the integrity watch, but there’s not much for me to do, because all of the players are in Flight Deck Control, including the Aircraft Handler, LCDR Lee. He was a somewhat short and round guy with a flattop hair cut, and was one of those lieutenant-commanders-for-life who basically did a great job, but whose mouth had gotten him in trouble a few too many times.
I’m sitting in the corner trying to be small and just observing the whirlwind of activity as the weps department tries to divest itself of most of the things that go boom. The flight deck radio (the mouse) was alive with talk as the two CH-46s from the AOE did their VertRep ballet between the two ships.
Suddenly, the mouse crackles with the voice of the ship’s Air Gunner, who was supervising the flight deck operation as pallet after pallet was lifted from our deck and placed on theirs.

Gunner: “Boss, could you call over to the other ship and tell them we need some more of those double-ended poles.” (referring to the connection between the pallet and the aircraft that had loops at each end)

Boss: “You say you need some more double-ended poles?”

LCDR Lee was bent over the Quija board reading something, and without even looking up, he reached behind him, grabbed the Flight Deck Control Mouse phone and spoke:

Lee: “Boss, if you need a double-ended Pole, I could send Kowalski out there.”

--Pause--

Boss: “Lee.... Go to your room!”

Lee: “‘Night, Boss...”
 

KnightNArmor

ASO
pilot
I got duck taped to a rolling chair by my flightline/crew chiefs and was left cargo strapped to the side of a 46 in Kuwait.
During the time we were there, a British 101 "Merlin" det was there. One of their birds taxied by while I was there... they stopped to see what was going on... I've not seen two pilots and crew laughing that hard...
 

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
None
Contributor
Same cruise and same air boss as my above post.
Boss was known for his quick, acerbic wit.
Day, Case 1 recovery. All the aircraft are safely on board... but where's the Hummer???
Time passes... Finally, the E-2 pops up over the horizon.

"Casper 012, three miles for the break."

Boss: "You'd beter buster! Your interval's on the hangar deck!"
 

jt71582

Bull LT of the Navy
pilot
Contributor
Awesome. Thanks for the link too, it certainly will be my AW "rosetta stone." :D
 
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