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Funniest thing on cruise / det

Schnugg

It's gettin' a bit dramatic 'round here...
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Had a new guy checking into the squadron while we were deployed. There was a fan room a few knee knockers away from the Ready Room that was about 6' x 8' in size with a pipe and valve running down one bulkhead. The "door" was one of those oval QAWTD fittings about 3' x 18 inches.

We put a cot and standup locker and a folding chair in there and told the guy we didn't have enough racks to accomodate him in any of the bunkrooms. Every night about 0300 we'd send a Sailor into new guy's "stateroom" where he'd turn on the light, verify the valve was in the correct position, sign the tag on the valve, and then depart.

Did this for almost two weeks until the XO made us quit and get him set up in one of the bunkrooms. He was pretty pissed, but what do you expect when you show up late for cruise?
VF-211 did that to a FNG that showed up mid-cruise...left after dinner mints and earplugs on his pillow for when he first got to his "room." He actually lived in the fan room for a while.

He also had a 30 page check-in PQS to complete. :D
 

a-6intruder

Richard Hardshaft
None
VF-211 did that to a FNG that showed up mid-cruise...left after dinner mints and earplugs on his pillow for when he first got to his "room." He actually lived in the fan room for a while.

He also had a 30 page check-in PQS to complete. :D
The PQS was a nice touch!
 

fc2spyguy

loving my warm and comfy 214 blanket
pilot
Contributor
GQ drill on a cruiser. FN turns the wrong valve and AFFF lights off in the hangar bay, both birds were in the bay. I was on the combat systems training team and made my way up through the hangar, it looked like a huge snowfall had happened. The airdet was not amused :D
 

ACowboyinTexas

Armed and Dangerous
pilot
Contributor
On my first deployment cat 1 was repeatedly being secured for maintenance because of a deceleration about half-way down the stroke that couldn't be fixed. It took weeks before they found out that the culprit was a couple of JO's who had shut a lube-oil valve in the nest of overhead pipes in their hooch because it was too loud.
 

MasterBates

Well-Known Member
GQ drill on a cruiser. FN turns the wrong valve and AFFF lights off in the hangar bay, both birds were in the bay. I was on the combat systems training team and made my way up through the hangar, it looked like a huge snowfall had happened. The airdet was not amused :D
I think I may know the OIC of that det. He was not happy.
 

S.O.B.

Registered User
pilot
This was not my DET but this is the story:

Apparently there was an AW who like to spank it in the AC and would do it regularly (in the 60B pilots can't see the crewman). Apparently he got tired of cleaning up the mess and decided to use a condom as a catch all. After completing the transaction he decided to fling the used prophylactic out of the window. When they returned from the flight someone found it stuck to the stab and ultimately the situation was briefed to the Captain of the boat. As you can imagine the Captain was unhappy and decided to mast the young man who ultimately lost his wings.
 

Schnugg

It's gettin' a bit dramatic 'round here...
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
On an FRS X/C our resident slut RIO took it upon himself to entertain a young lady in the cockpit of a parked F-14 on the flight line. Okay, no problem there, seats were pinned.

Problem was the seat is where you leave your flight gear on a X/C and he chose to sample the wares in the front seat on top of the pilot's gear. Some nasty soiled flight gear resulted. "Hey Goose, why does my mask smell like dead tuna?"

Lucky for him (the NFO), he was the instructor in the hop.
 

Redux

Well-Known Member
Relayed to me by the crew in question:

Crew in Singapore, drunk at the bar. The co-rocket is getting his groove on with a honey on the floor when the crew chiefs (plane captains) came up and says an earlier package check confirmed the CO is dancing with a guy. FE goes and tells him. He gets the drunk "No way man, she's smokin'!" response. Next morning, he comes downstairs amid the snickers and "how's it going george?" (boy george). All he can muster is "shutup" and holds his head in his hands.

More good times in the westpac
Lol, that area was known as "Boogie Street" where they all went to get fixed.
 

Redux

Well-Known Member
R&R in Subic on the bus going towards the gate. A VERY drunk Doc XXXXXX (Senior Med Officer aboard Sara) staggers to his feet and screams. "You fuckers fuck anything you want because I can cure ANYTHING"!

We did, he did. :)
 

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
None
Contributor
Third-hand story about a Naval Aviator seeing the Doc after an inport visit to Subic/Olongapo.

NA: "Doc, got a minute... I've got a problem with my foot."
Doc: "What's the problem?"
NA: I've got this crank that keeps dripping on it."
 

robav8r

Future performance not guaranteed . . .
None
Contributor
I had mexican for lunch. Couldn't hold it any longer. I was sitting in a Naugahyde covered chair, across from the SWO CO. As he is talking to the admiral on the net, I let a fart loose. It REVERBERATES in the chair, and was to date, the loudest fart I have ever produced. That became the infamous (at least on my boat) "fart heard round the battlegroup" of 2004.
Had a similar experience on Stennis in '98 with CAG 7 in Ready 5. The admiral was addressing the wardroom and I was sitting in the third row back. I let an "SBD" fly and the stench was so vile, that the admiral cut short his visit and I assumed the callsign "Ass-Bucket."

- I also enjoy the story (again on Stennis, '98), of the couple engaged in some "PQS" in the intake of an F-14 at night (intake covers installed) by the CMC and MAA's. Apparently it had been going on for awhile and the "gouge" about F-14 intakes was well recieved by those who chose to partake in late night, extracurricular activities.
 

MasterBates

Well-Known Member
R&R in Subic on the bus going towards the gate. A VERY drunk Doc XXXXX (Senior Med Officer aboard Sara) staggers to his feet and screams. "You fuckers fuck anything you want because I can cure ANYTHING"!

We did, he did. :)
If only that were true today. :(
 

Ken_gone_flying

"I live vicariously through myself."
pilot
Contributor
COD Det, Singapore 2004. My roomie brings a hooker back to the hotel room at like midnight while I was asleep. They take care of business then my roomie escorted her out of the room. The next morning we come to find out one of my fellow aircrewman picked up the same hooker moments later in the lobby. His rommie walked in on them and apparently, he went down on her (I guess he was trashed, had to have been) . That crewman's new nickname: Snowball.
 

SH-60OB

Member
pilot
ultimately the situation was briefed to the Captain of the boat. As you can imagine the Captain was unhappy and decided to mast the young man who ultimately lost his wings.
Actually last time I saw this particular AW he was a ENS
 
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