Family Disapproval - what do I do?

[wink]

I'll join the club of parents who are furious about their children going into the Navy. As my mother said last night, and I quote, "only white-trash-trailer-park -people go into the military. Go to law school." However, her boyfriend was a Navy pilot and flew for fed ex for 20 years. . . Seems problematic to me.

So blow her mind. Move into a trailer park, go to law school, and then join the Navy.

I am married to a lawyer. I know lots of attorneys and have seen even more of them operate. All lawyer jokes aside, if your mother thinks the legal profession is more prestigious, profitable and rewarding then a military career, especially as a Navy officer, then she knows little about either profession. Most law school grads don't make any more dough then a mid grade officer and surveys show their job satisfaction rate being very low. We won't even talk about the relative prestige of the military vs. lawyers.

 

[PAO84]

So blow her mind. Move into a trailer park, go to law school, and then join the Navy.

I am married to a lawyer. I know lots of attorneys and have seen even more of them operate. All lawyer jokes aside, if your mother thinks the legal profession is more prestigious, profitable and rewarding then a military career, especially as a Navy officer, then knows little about either profession. Most law school grads don't make any more dough then a mid grade officer and surveys show their job satisfaction rate being very low. We won't even talk about the relative prestige of the military vs. lawyers.

Right, most first year attorneys who do not go to elite law schools (top 25) are lucky to make 50k a year. Sure, the kids who go to top 25 do in fact make 125k plus 30k bonuses upon billable hours in cities, but that's corporate, and they work like slaves with no say who in they represent or what they do. You are correct in thinking that many lawyers are exceptionally unhappy people. Substance abuse is rampant. When I interned at a firm I was invited to their Christmas party. They were doing coke off of my student ID.

Somehow my mother thinks that I will be making 100k a year no matter where I go to law school. The reality is that I would be lucky to make as much as a mid-level officer, and given the amount of debt, at least another 80k, I would struggle to even put food in my mouth. Sorry, mom, I'm not flying a desk.

 

[red_ryder]

I think somewhere in the back of their minds, they just think that you're getting brainwashed by the recruiter and you'll be either mopping a bilge for 10 cents an hour, or transferred to the army in iraq.

Officer pay is bomb, and your folks will relax after you get in and they see you're pretty well-off and happy.

 

[Gatordev]

I say...lock and sticky. Maybe put it on the thread hall of fame?

Not a bad idea, if for no other reason than we don't confuse more new guys about the OP. If one of the other mods disagrees or SRoque comes back (thanks to HJ), it can be unlocked.

 

[flyeagle111]

A father who doesn't support me...

Hello. I am a current high school senior and have recently applied for the NROTC scholarship. My goal is to become a Naval Aviator one day and it is being discouraged by my father. He claims the military is full of high school drop outs and kids who would have gone to prison (on the enlisted side) and guys who can't find jobs who are officers. I find this very disrespectful and just would like some feedback on what to tell him. My grandfather was a retired Marine Corps Lt. Colonel who flew in WWII and Korea. He was like a father to me (I'm not close with my father). I just don't know what to tell my father because every chance he gets he tells me that I'll just be among ex-convicts (I'm not sure if he's trying to make me look like I won't be successful or what??). Thanks.

 

[OUSOONER]

Hello. I am a current high school senior and have recently applied for the NROTC scholarship. My goal is to become a Naval Aviator one day and it is being discouraged by my father. He claims the military is full of high school drop outs and kids who would have gone to prison (on the enlisted side) and guys who can't find jobs who are officers. I find this very disrespectful and just would like some feedback on what to tell him. My grandfather was a retired Marine Corps Lt. Colonel who flew in WWII and Korea. He was like a father to me (I'm not close with my father). I just don't know what to tell my father because every chance he gets he tells me that I'll just be among ex-convicts (I'm not sure if he's trying to make me look like I won't be successful or what??). Thanks.

I'm sorry about your relationship with him. He seems very uninformed. It's your career dude and if you get the scholarship (which I hope you do), the Navy will pay for it and your dad won't be paying a penny. This is good because you/or he won't feel like he can tell you what to do with your life.

If this is truly what you want, go for it...if he loves you and knows how good of a person you are, show him that it's not at all like how he perceives it to be. I'm guessing since your grandfather was an officer and your dad has this view on officers (and the military in general), that the two of them were not close either? Sounds like there are underlying problems here. Did your dad try to join the military when he was younger? If so, maybe he has some bitterness..

Welcome to the site.

 

[picklesuit]

Hello. I am a current high school senior and have recently applied for the NROTC scholarship. My goal is to become a Naval Aviator one day and it is being discouraged by my father. He claims the military is full of high school drop outs and kids who would have gone to prison (on the enlisted side) and guys who can't find jobs who are officers. I find this very disrespectful and just would like some feedback on what to tell him. My grandfather was a retired Marine Corps Lt. Colonel who flew in WWII and Korea. He was like a father to me (I'm not close with my father). I just don't know what to tell my father because every chance he gets he tells me that I'll just be among ex-convicts (I'm not sure if he's trying to make me look like I won't be successful or what??). Thanks.

Your Dad is a Fucking Idiot. If you want to join, then join. He obviously has a grudge against something he saw in the military. He is misinformed, and it sounds like you have made a good decision to distance yourself from him. My advice to you is to send him a letter from college inviting him to your commissioning ceremony; and don't waste your time arguing with him. If he shows up and supports you in your decision, good on him (and you) if not, fuck him. It is your life, seize it by the balls and live it to the fullest, disregard anyone who tells you that you cannot. They are merely a distraction from your goals.
If you want more in-depth advice/help feel free to PM...
Pickle

 

[HeyJoe]

Hello. I am a current high school senior and have recently applied for the NROTC scholarship. My goal is to become a Naval Aviator one day and it is being discouraged by my father. He claims the military is full of high school drop outs and kids who would have gone to prison (on the enlisted side) and guys who can't find jobs who are officers. I find this very disrespectful and just would like some feedback on what to tell him. My grandfather was a retired Marine Corps Lt. Colonel who flew in WWII and Korea. He was like a father to me (I'm not close with my father). I just don't know what to tell my father because every chance he gets he tells me that I'll just be among ex-convicts (I'm not sure if he's trying to make me look like I won't be successful or what??). Thanks.

Hard to win over someone who is prejudiced like that. His facts are dead wrong, but he's not going to listen anyway even if you found some stats on the percentage of High School grads who enlist. There was a time when judges gave felons option to go into the service or stay behind bars, but haven't heard of that for maybe 25 years.

Unless your father is going to inhibit your choice, you should trust your instincts and proceed. You'll see for yourself what great Americans you will be serving alongside. He can watch the TV special Carrier and see for himself. Doubt he'll change his mind and likely find something else to carp about while you are having fun.

 

[xmid]

With such a poor opinion of us and our chosen profession... What does your dad do for a living?...

 

[thedangerdogg]

Hello. I am a current high school senior and have recently applied for the NROTC scholarship. My goal is to become a Naval Aviator one day and it is being discouraged by my father. He claims the military is full of high school drop outs and kids who would have gone to prison (on the enlisted side) and guys who can't find jobs who are officers. I find this very disrespectful and just would like some feedback on what to tell him. My grandfather was a retired Marine Corps Lt. Colonel who flew in WWII and Korea. He was like a father to me (I'm not close with my father). I just don't know what to tell my father because every chance he gets he tells me that I'll just be among ex-convicts (I'm not sure if he's trying to make me look like I won't be successful or what??). Thanks.

Dude, there is no greater feeling in the world than strapping on a Navy aircraft, getting shot off the bow, doing a mission, and finally trapping aboard a carrier. You'll be part of a team no matter what you fly and will enjoy the hell out of it. You will never be sorry that you chose this path.

...except maybe the morning after your convict aviator friends come over to party! :icon_smil

 

[m0tbaillie]

While I don't mean to be as brash as pickle, he's entirely right.

If it were not for some of the most determined, ardent Americans this country has ever produced we would not be where we were today. We as a country would not be where we were today and if your father really thinks that enlisted guys are "high school drop-outs" and "kids who would have gone to prison" and "officers who couldn't find a job" then he, clearly, has absolutely no idea what he is talking about and probably doesn't have the nuts to say that to the face of half of the the men and women in the service.

While it is true that some people may enlist or commission because they don't know what else to do, I'd bet any money that most people do it because they WANT to - because they feel compelled to and because they think that as an American citizen is is part of their right to exist in this country.


Sorry dude, don't listen to your dad on this...he's dead wrong.

 

[red_ryder]

Welp, I'll tell you what. My parents weren't initially very supportive either, but they saw the light eventually. Remember, they're just trying to protect you.

The new military isn't as bad in a lot of ways as it has been in the past. It's true that a lot of enlisted may be dropouts or deferring criminal charges, but a lot of them are really good guys, too. As it is, it might be a little bit early to be rushing things, because college is definitely a life experience that you want to experience as-is, if you ask me. Can anyone comment on waiting a couple years and doing BDCP instead of ROTC? And don't say avoiding OCS, because that was a good time.

Definitely go for a commission, whatever you do. The pay is comparable to civilian jobs and is almost always more exciting.

Compared to civilian life, I'd say: "the lows may be lower, but the highs are way, way higher."

Right now concentrate on doing well in college and enjoying yourself while you're still young, dumb, and full of chum. You'll have plenty of time to get some good arguments for your dad.

Good luck young(er) man, and remember that life is about the journey, not the destination.

And finally, remember that when you find he has a good point on you, to have the integrity to admit you lost one facet of the war. It makes for a well-reasoned and credible case in your favor.

 

[H60Gunner]

I am not an Officer, but am a retired Navy Chief.

Your father is extremely misinformed. The military is not full of high school drop outs and criminals. And our Officers are not dudes/dude-ets who can't find jobs; they are highly trained, motivated professionals. He might be set in his ways and unable to look at things any other way. You need to do what you think is right for you. Your father might not like it but it's your gig not his.

If you want to be successful you will, it's up to you not your father.

Being a Naval Aviator is one of the most respected and honorable "jobs" in the world and you, my man, can do it if you want to.......

 

[Catmando]

"I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: 'I served in the United States Navy.'"​

President John F. Kennedy, 1 August 1963, in Bancroft Hall at the U. S. Naval Academy.

 

[Eliot Watts]

Growing up is making choices for yourself. Understand and appreciate the advice of others but remember that their experiences shouldn't dictate yours and that they could very well be wrong.