Don't listen to Steve. He was dropped on his head as a child. From your post, I don't think you have the back-stabbing, eat-your-young mentality to be a SWO.
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Family Disapproval - what do I do?
- Thread starter SRoque
- Start date
SRoque
Registered User
You people are so much fun and seeing that I'm not the only one defying parental guidance makes me feel a world better (although, I pray neither of my parents run out into the streets tearing down recruitment posters...). If I have your words and encouragement on my mind and that may be all I need. Thank you. It's rough at the moment but your replies make me smile and make me realize this can't be a stupid decision if such interesting, good-humored, sensible people are out there doing this. And you're right, if my parents do love me they'll come around. Thanks, that really helps. I'll do what I can for now and hope they'll come around sooner instead of later.
I am so glad this forum exists. :icon_wink Talk about outside support!
I am so glad this forum exists. :icon_wink Talk about outside support!
Thank You Steve and John!!
another thought,
If politics becomes a goal in the Future, serving your country in the military seems like a good start....a lot of politicians these days are nothing more than Corporate Hacks and Draft Dodgers and wouldnt be willing to scarfice their butts when something goes down (on both sides of the political dividing line).
If politics becomes a goal in the Future, serving your country in the military seems like a good start....a lot of politicians these days are nothing more than Corporate Hacks and Draft Dodgers and wouldnt be willing to scarfice their butts when something goes down (on both sides of the political dividing line).
phrogpilot73
Well-Known Member
And the Marine Corps
How 'bout we just say "The Naval Service" and sing kumbaya by the campfire together? 
Yep, my parents and some family flipped out a little bit at first too. My dad asked if I was crazy (CRAZY?!). My mom thought I was saying that to piss her off. Both of them were in the army around my age or younger, and this was back when there was no war going on and the army kind of sucked, so you can imagine what they thought it was going to be like with a war going on. So I kind of understand that.
My dad is more reasonable and settled down almost immediately after he thought about it a bit and decided he would be proud of me. My mom has tried every trick in the book to put doubt in my mind about going, including finding people who say that almost everyone washes out of flight school, that there isn't a GI bill for me (I'm going OCS), ad nauseum. I think eventually she realized that she can't stop me if it's something I really want to do, so she doesn't bug me too much these days. It helps if you've got other family or friends or anyone you know mutually who supports you for good reasons.
In the end, it comes down to living your own life. Your parents may be your parents, but they don't own you, and sooner or later they'll have to admit that to themselves as well. From my personal experience and in hearing the stories of others, it seems to me that most of the fury is a gambit designed to scare you away from joining in the first place. After you do, they might as well be proud of you.
My dad is more reasonable and settled down almost immediately after he thought about it a bit and decided he would be proud of me. My mom has tried every trick in the book to put doubt in my mind about going, including finding people who say that almost everyone washes out of flight school, that there isn't a GI bill for me (I'm going OCS), ad nauseum. I think eventually she realized that she can't stop me if it's something I really want to do, so she doesn't bug me too much these days. It helps if you've got other family or friends or anyone you know mutually who supports you for good reasons.
In the end, it comes down to living your own life. Your parents may be your parents, but they don't own you, and sooner or later they'll have to admit that to themselves as well. From my personal experience and in hearing the stories of others, it seems to me that most of the fury is a gambit designed to scare you away from joining in the first place. After you do, they might as well be proud of you.
Wow, close to the record, but not quite.
Good advice though, thanks for throwing it in.
My parents never ever came around about me flying and joining the Navy. In fact everyone in my family hates the idea. My mother and my girlfriend both tell me on a quite regular basis that they hate that I am a flight instuctor and that I will be heading off to the Navy to fly for them. I ended telling my mom that this is my job and I'm good at what I do and get paid decently. As for the girlfriend there seems to be no way to placate her so it looks like it might be time to trade the worried brunette for something blonde.
annaisdivine
New Member
According to your join date, it seems that you’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now. It sounds like you’re at a stage of taking the big inevitable autonomous leap, which indeed affects the entire family dynamic. That’s life. That’s family. My father’s deceased so I can’t exactly relate, but it sounds like your dad has an obnoxious case of “caring too much and having trouble letting go.” Just know that this too shall pass.
When I first expressed an interest in joining the Navy, it was VERY difficult for my mother and brother to accept at first, so I decided to be sensitive to what they were going through, while standing firm on my decision.
My brother always took on the father figure role and he blew up with similar comments to your dad’s. In the midst of it all, I realized he only did it because he cared so much. Still, he really ticked me off, so I took some time to let the storm blow over, then I calmly told him a few days later:
“Bro, I know you’re only acting like this because you care so much about me. I realize it’s only natural for you to give your input, and I want you to know that I’ve taken all you’ve said into consideration. Believe me, I have. This is a BIG decision. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I need you to understand that this is something I’m doing – with or without your approval. I would prefer that it’s with your approval because your support and encouragement are extremely important to me. These are my dreams and ambitions and it hurts me when you bash them. What I need right now are people to cheer me on and support me, so I hope you’ll be one of them because I really love you.”
As far as it went with my mom…the application process includes writing a motivational statement of why you’re seeking a commission (in 400 words or less). After writing my motivational statement in the application, I printed it out and left it on my mom’s kitchen counter on a Sunday afternoon with a note that read, “Mom, maybe this will help you to understand. Love, Anna”
I left the note on a Sunday afternoon because I knew that was one of the best times when mom would be most receptive to what I wrote. Anyway, it helped to open the lines of communication and my mom is now one my biggest supporters for joining the Navy, along with my brother.
I’m still waiting to hear if I got accepted, but either way, just applying for OCS has been one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It’s been a wonderful process of discovering how I can be of greater service to others – regardless of how things turn out.
Best of luck!
When I first expressed an interest in joining the Navy, it was VERY difficult for my mother and brother to accept at first, so I decided to be sensitive to what they were going through, while standing firm on my decision.
My brother always took on the father figure role and he blew up with similar comments to your dad’s. In the midst of it all, I realized he only did it because he cared so much. Still, he really ticked me off, so I took some time to let the storm blow over, then I calmly told him a few days later:
“Bro, I know you’re only acting like this because you care so much about me. I realize it’s only natural for you to give your input, and I want you to know that I’ve taken all you’ve said into consideration. Believe me, I have. This is a BIG decision. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I need you to understand that this is something I’m doing – with or without your approval. I would prefer that it’s with your approval because your support and encouragement are extremely important to me. These are my dreams and ambitions and it hurts me when you bash them. What I need right now are people to cheer me on and support me, so I hope you’ll be one of them because I really love you.”
As far as it went with my mom…the application process includes writing a motivational statement of why you’re seeking a commission (in 400 words or less). After writing my motivational statement in the application, I printed it out and left it on my mom’s kitchen counter on a Sunday afternoon with a note that read, “Mom, maybe this will help you to understand. Love, Anna”
I left the note on a Sunday afternoon because I knew that was one of the best times when mom would be most receptive to what I wrote. Anyway, it helped to open the lines of communication and my mom is now one my biggest supporters for joining the Navy, along with my brother.
I’m still waiting to hear if I got accepted, but either way, just applying for OCS has been one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It’s been a wonderful process of discovering how I can be of greater service to others – regardless of how things turn out.
Best of luck!
annaisdivine
New Member
As Emily Litella would say, "oh...well that's different....nevermind."
I would feel like a complete jackazz, except that this popped up on my home page today as a recent thread. I just overlooked the original post date. I guess my attention to detale was a little off.
Either way, I hope that the insight will be helpful if someone else is having similar issues, because what I told my bro had him shedding a tear or two.