According to your join date, it seems that you’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now. It sounds like you’re at a stage of taking the big inevitable autonomous leap, which indeed affects the entire family dynamic. That’s life. That’s family. My father’s deceased so I can’t exactly relate, but it sounds like your dad has an obnoxious case of “caring too much and having trouble letting go.” Just know that this too shall pass.
When I first expressed an interest in joining the Navy, it was VERY difficult for my mother and brother to accept at first, so I decided to be sensitive to what they were going through, while standing firm on my decision.
My brother always took on the father figure role and he blew up with similar comments to your dad’s. In the midst of it all, I realized he only did it because he cared so much. Still, he really ticked me off, so I took some time to let the storm blow over, then I calmly told him a few days later:
“Bro, I know you’re only acting like this because you care so much about me. I realize it’s only natural for you to give your input, and I want you to know that I’ve taken all you’ve said into consideration. Believe me, I have. This is a BIG decision. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I need you to understand that this is something I’m doing – with or without your approval. I would prefer that it’s with your approval because your support and encouragement are extremely important to me. These are my dreams and ambitions and it hurts me when you bash them. What I need right now are people to cheer me on and support me, so I hope you’ll be one of them because I really love you.”
As far as it went with my mom…the application process includes writing a motivational statement of why you’re seeking a commission (in 400 words or less). After writing my motivational statement in the application, I printed it out and left it on my mom’s kitchen counter on a Sunday afternoon with a note that read, “Mom, maybe this will help you to understand. Love, Anna”
I left the note on a Sunday afternoon because I knew that was one of the best times when mom would be most receptive to what I wrote. Anyway, it helped to open the lines of communication and my mom is now one my biggest supporters for joining the Navy, along with my brother.
I’m still waiting to hear if I got accepted, but either way, just applying for OCS has been one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It’s been a wonderful process of discovering how I can be of greater service to others – regardless of how things turn out.
Best of luck!