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cut the strings or don't apply

K

KBayDog

Well-Known Member
JIMC5499 said:
Goggle the term "Helicopter Parents" and see what you get.
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I wish they would have come up with a better term. :icon_rage

However, perhaps "Helicopter Parent" is an appropriate term in this case. They have had power over their childrens' lives up to this point - both legally and emotionally. Things involving their children have been largely within the scope of their control. ("Power Available" exceeded "Power Required" to get things done.)

Now, they are thrown into Wink's World, where they have very little control over what happens with their children (admission to, say, the USNA is largely outside of their domain). In fact, their interference may be hindering their childrens' successes. There is a certain "power required" to get into the USNA (the strength of the application, interviews, board recommendations, THE WILL/WISHES OF THE CHILDREN, etc.) over which mommy and daddy can exert very little control.

Of course, we all know what happens when "Power Required" exceeds "Power Available."

(I know, I know - this is a stretch. However, if "they" are going to give my field a bad name, I've got to work with it, right?)
 
D

DSL1990

VMI Cadet 4/c, MIDN 4/c
KBayDog said:
I wish they would have come up with a better term. :icon_rage

However, perhaps "Helicopter Parent" is an appropriate term in this case. They have had power over their childrens' lives up to this point - both legally and emotionally. Things involving their children have been largely within the scope of their control. ("Power Available" exceeded "Power Required" to get things done.)

Now, they are thrown into Wink's World, where they have very little control over what happens with their children (admission to, say, the USNA is largely outside of their domain). In fact, their interference may be hindering their childrens' successes. There is a certain "power required" to get into the USNA (the strength of the application, interviews, board recommendations, THE WILL/WISHES OF THE CHILDREN, etc.) over which mommy and daddy can exert very little control.

Of course, we all know what happens when "Power Required" exceeds "Power Available."

(I know, I know - this is a stretch. However, if "they" are going to give my field a bad name, I've got to work with it, right?)
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Maybe this is usual? I read this board, the one over at http://www.serviceacademyforums.com/ and also the USNA board at http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/u-s-service-academies/

I can see that parents seem to greatly outnumber us kids everywhere on those forums. If the parents are so interested in a service academy, then why didn't they just go themselves? Why don't the academies just make the kids sign a statement that declares they didn't get any help on their application? The NROTC application does that! You have to sign a page and send it to the recruiter that says you did it all yourself.

Their kids will growup hating how they got pushed into something they never wanted to do. One of my dad's friends went to USMA. He told us the story of how he went only because his dad was a graduate and he thought it would make his dad proud and it was what his dad wanted - for him to go too. Many years later, his dad told him, "I don't know why you ever went to the USMA. I never wanted to you be in the military!" And now he works for Disney. :icon_razz
 
sevenhelmet

sevenhelmet

Low calorie attack from the Heartland
pilot
I don't think "Helicopter parent" is directed at your field, Kbay (assuming you are a helo pilot from your comments.) It's directed at those parents' tendency to "hover". Don't take it personally.

FTR, very early on in my application process I gave my Mom all the ROE she needed: "STAY CLEAR." We had no problems at all.
 
Huggy Bear

Huggy Bear

Registered User
pilot
I ran into one of these kids the other day. Well, he ran into me, literally. Despite my honking this 17 year old backed his car right into mine. Within a minute he was on the phone to his dad to come rescue him (I was being nice and friendly, btw). His dad was cool, and offered to fix my fender to keep the insurance out of it. I agreed and sure enough this kid's dad was out there at 7 am the next morning fixing my fender. He came alone; I would have had the little s**t out of bed sitting there right next to me.

When I was 17 and got hit I didn't call my parents until I sorted it out with the person who hit me and found an auto repair shop on my own.

I've read that the business world is started to becoming inundated with these very dependent children.
 
BACONATOR

BACONATOR

Well-Known Member
pilot
Contributor
Huggy Bear said:
I ran into one of these kids the other day. Well, he ran into me, literally. Despite my honking this 17 year old backed his car right into mine. Within a minute he was on the phone to his dad to come rescue him (I was being nice and friendly, btw). His dad was cool, and offered to fix my fender to keep the insurance out of it. I agreed and sure enough this kid's dad was out there at 7 am the next morning fixing my fender. He came alone; I would have had the little s**t out of bed sitting there right next to me.

When I was 17 and got hit I didn't call my parents until I sorted it out with the person who hit me and found an auto repair shop on my own.

I've read that the business world is started to becoming inundated with these very dependent children.
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Apparently the military too. I've heard MB and a few others bitching about how JO's can't scratch their balls without "calling the CDO/OIC/etc etc".

I still like to think that such JO hand-holding only exists in the AF, but I'm probably just in denial..
 
A

a_m

Still learning how much I don't know.
None
Junior said:
The attached parents doesn't end with the application process. There were parents who were ALWAYS in town. I'm talking traveling across the country multiplt times a semester. Let your kid go!
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I actually have a good friend who's parent (mostly his father) came around a good bit, but always on business. He was never one to try and make decisions. Besides, he never minded taking 10+ of us out for dinner and picking up the tab.
 
A

a_m

Still learning how much I don't know.
None
insanebikerboy said:
Clicked on the collegeconfidential link for USNA and the first poster on there was "Kevinsmom"....ridiculous.
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I clicked on those, looked around a bit, and decided to leave before I pissed off a whole community of soccer moms.


Although if wink were to post this thread over there, I daresay I would be entertained for at least a few days.
 
J

Junior

Registered User
pilot
cfam386 said:
It's interesting...because the superintendent here used that term when he was briefing the parents earlier this year during firstie parents weekend. Something to the effect of that the academy had a big problem with helicopter parents, and that they needed to let their mids deal with issues at the academy on their own. I remember some of the parents were up in arms about it, but it made a lot of sense to me. We can't really develop ourselves if our parents are constantly hovering over. I totally agree with you Wink, and I hope that this one experience was the exception instead of the rule.
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I think this is a huge issue at the Academy, can't speak for civilian colleges. There were many times when company officers would let it slip that so and so's parents called him because of something their kid said on the phone (i.e. restriction, pleber getting flamed on, etc.). Also, though the USNA parents organizations are great, they sometimes contribute more bad than good. Some parents really do live vicariously through their children and think they are part of the Academy; they just lose their minds for the four years. I think there is a big line between being proud of your kids' accomplishments and trying to make those accomplishments yours. Fortunately, mine were proud but stayed on the right side of the line. Though the Mid Store did look forward to my parents coming to town, they really couldn't get enough of the hoorah USNA gear. I saw their heads spin when they learned they would have to change from blue and gold to gold and scarlet when I made the right decision and chose Marine Corps.:icon_wink
 
J

Junior

Registered User
pilot
alabama_matt said:
I actually have a good friend who's parent (mostly his father) came around a good bit, but always on business. He was never one to try and make decisions. Besides, he never minded taking 10+ of us out for dinner and picking up the tab.
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Some parents can't come down and "just visit" though. Ditto on the free dinners though.
 
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