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Burning questions about OCS, flight school and Navy life
- Thread starter sonicboom
- Start date
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
The #1 and #2 LCDRs at my last squadron were single.
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
Oh, and if you are marrying to improve your FITREP, you are fvcked up on so many levels the DNC comes to you for advice!
Okay.
Flash is batting 1.000 on this thread.
My wife and I were married well before I went to OCS, but dealing with USCIS is a pain. You have to tell them every time you move, and the nearest processing centers for paperwork and appointments are always a long way away (New Orleans from P-cola). We had to drive that all way one day just to get her fingerprints taken for the 3rd time (5 minutes is all it took).
It shouldn’t affect your clearance a whole lot, from my understanding. In my class at Vance, there was a guy who was not a US born citizen, one whose wife was South American, and another whose parents were Eastern European. None of them had major problems; processing just took longer.
I really wouldn’t suggest getting married to get around the system, because USCIS is a big pain. You have to file paperwork for the permanent residency, then she’ll only be a temporary permanent resident. Then after a year or two you have to file more paperwork. All this costs $$$.
However, if you want to do it:
The student visa is probably the way to go for getting her in the country if you can work it.
If she's graduated from school, there's also a one year program she can apply for that will extend her student visa for a year to look for a job. I believe it's called OPT or something like that. She doesn't even have to work, just look for a job towards which she would apply her degree. It's basically a free year in the country, from my understanding.
The K-1 visa is also (probably) a pain in the rear. We didn’t need it, because my wife was already on a student visa at the time, but I have heard it can take up to 6 months just to get your fiancé in the US.
Bottom line, as Flash said, if you can’t get it straight yourself, get a lawyer. My wife and I didn’t, and we were OK, but we were also very lucky that we were living near a processing center at the beginning and could ask a million questions in person.
My wife and I were married well before I went to OCS, but dealing with USCIS is a pain. You have to tell them every time you move, and the nearest processing centers for paperwork and appointments are always a long way away (New Orleans from P-cola). We had to drive that all way one day just to get her fingerprints taken for the 3rd time (5 minutes is all it took).
It shouldn’t affect your clearance a whole lot, from my understanding. In my class at Vance, there was a guy who was not a US born citizen, one whose wife was South American, and another whose parents were Eastern European. None of them had major problems; processing just took longer.
I really wouldn’t suggest getting married to get around the system, because USCIS is a big pain. You have to file paperwork for the permanent residency, then she’ll only be a temporary permanent resident. Then after a year or two you have to file more paperwork. All this costs $$$.
However, if you want to do it:
The student visa is probably the way to go for getting her in the country if you can work it.
If she's graduated from school, there's also a one year program she can apply for that will extend her student visa for a year to look for a job. I believe it's called OPT or something like that. She doesn't even have to work, just look for a job towards which she would apply her degree. It's basically a free year in the country, from my understanding.
The K-1 visa is also (probably) a pain in the rear. We didn’t need it, because my wife was already on a student visa at the time, but I have heard it can take up to 6 months just to get your fiancé in the US.
Bottom line, as Flash said, if you can’t get it straight yourself, get a lawyer. My wife and I didn’t, and we were OK, but we were also very lucky that we were living near a processing center at the beginning and could ask a million questions in person.
mtsupilot09
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Clux4
Banned
This is solid advice everyone is giving you. I understand your situation because a friend just went through the same problem. Student visas are probably easier as long as she does not have family members already here(siblings). Also, she has to be able to prove that she has a reason to go back to her country after her education is over. Then they also look at her parents financial record to make sure they can afford the schooling. The Visa interview is tricky but possible provided you prepare for it. As FLASH already stated, use a lawyer. Be careful of the one you use. My friend spent a lot of time reading up on it and he ended up using a lawyer that charged him $2500 - cost of filling(in 2007). Getting it on her first attempt according to him is your goal. It becomes difficult afterwards. If her command of english language is not great, you might want to also get her enrolled in the english prep course as part of the application process. Showing this at the embassy might help.
My friend was actually going to marry her but his father adviced him otherwise. I will say go for the student visa thing and then decide through flight school if you think she will be the one. Military life is unique!
My friend was actually going to marry her but his father adviced him otherwise. I will say go for the student visa thing and then decide through flight school if you think she will be the one. Military life is unique!
She's been out of school for several years and is working at a bank in S. America, so she has some money. Not much but some. Her family has very few financial resources. She has no siblings in the U.S. but does have an aunt and a grandmother. I had no idea this could be so complicated. I stopped by the US embassy in her country and they made it sound like I had two options: 1) the fiance visa and 2) tourist visa. I'll take all of your suggestions into consideration. Thanks so much guys!
... Ideally, if she were American we would continue dating as normal and I wouldn't even be considering the idea of marriage so soon. We met abroad and dated shortly but by no means for a long time. I can see myself marrying her but I'd really like her to come to the U.S. and spend some time with me here before we commit to each other for life. I just don't see how that will be possible unless she is either my fiancee or wife. Ugh! This sucks...
Read my avatar.
If you both truly love each other, wait until you're no longer a "student." What's 1-2 years more of long distance dating when you're talking the rest of your life? Case in point, it shouldn't matter. Marriage is too big of a decision to make hastily. The phrase "if there's doubt, there's no doubt" has never been more true. This just has way to much potential to be a self induced asspain during flight school.
Re: security clearance issues, and saying this as someone who used to be in charge of clearance-wrangling. It's usually not so much that the spouse is a foreigner, or what country prescisely she hails from. It's whether she (or you) has any ties back home that could be used to "exert influence". IOW, someone of Iranian parentage but with all loved ones living in the US would probably have less difficulty than someone from, say, Brazil and daddy still lives there and has a gambling problem. That's the theory, anyway, YMMV. I've known people who had bigger hold-ups over Canadian relatives than a guy with family still living in China.
As for whether you should marry this gal while in flight school - wait. The Program is a HUGE amount of work. You will have next to no free time anyway, and you really, really don't need the distraction of dealing with CIS while you're doing it.
As for whether you should marry this gal while in flight school - wait. The Program is a HUGE amount of work. You will have next to no free time anyway, and you really, really don't need the distraction of dealing with CIS while you're doing it.
The consensus seems to be "don't get married while in flight school" but what about just living together. Someone in this thread mentioned that he really appreciated being able to come home to, in his case, his wife at night after training. What if that person were a fiancee or significant other? Is the issue at hand the marital status or the coexistence? I would tend to believe that having her around would be emotionally helpful. What do the guys who have actually done it think?
Way to win "Dumb Post of the Month."
If you want her there and it's feasible, the live together. In your situation, it seems like a pain in the ass to even get her in the country....and the could be tough to deal with during flight school. My situation, I enjoyed having my spouse with me and think it may have been more stressful to live separately. You aren't married, or even engaged, so it's significantly different.