OK, what if I rephrase my question to "do you suggest getting engaged and living with your fiancee while in flight school?" The question isn't so much should we get married now so much as should I bring her up here, get her permanent residence (if anyone has any experience on that end I'd appreciate help), and haul her around with me as I train.
-
Please take a moment and update your account profile. If you have an updated account profile with basic information on why you are on Air Warriors it will help other people respond to your posts. How do you update your profile you ask?
Go here:
Edit Account Details and Profile
Burning questions about OCS, flight school and Navy life
- Thread starter sonicboom
- Start date
I've heard people having issues with clearances for having PARENTs who weren't US citizens. I imagine there is a greater or equal amount of asspain for a non-citizen wife. If you're GOING to get married anyway, and not looking at getting talked out of it, I'd say bring her with you. Just like any other married couple, the gouge is always have your wife with you. It's nice to have her there (especially at a time in the Navy when you CAN be with your wife every day) and on top of that, having a foreign wife living ABROAD would probably cause even more asspain than otherwise.
But that being said, why the fuck would you listen to me? I'm a 22 un-married SNA. But I could be freaking yoda on the internets, and you don't know the difference.
Dear Yoda,
I'm looking to minimize asspain but at the same time she's worth taking it up the ass a few times so as long as it's not a legal issue (security clearance etc) I wouldn't mine the inconvenience.
Who can I speak to officially about this? I don't want some 22 year old punk ass SNA, but preferably someone with some hair on his chest and some wings
Could be someone on AW or elsewhere.
I'm looking to minimize asspain but at the same time she's worth taking it up the ass a few times so as long as it's not a legal issue (security clearance etc) I wouldn't mine the inconvenience.
Who can I speak to officially about this? I don't want some 22 year old punk ass SNA, but preferably someone with some hair on his chest and some wings
Could be someone on AW or elsewhere.
I would heed MB's advice, hold off at least until you are done with flight training. If your relationship is legitimate then marriage can wait until later.
As for marrying a foreigner, I am married to a Canadian. I married her during my third tour in the Navy but I could still give you some insight into bringing her into the states. You get no special treatment for her because you are a military member, USCIS (Immigration) could care less. You will have to fill out a myriad of forms, several times in some cases, and you will both have to jump through numerous hoops to get her here for this country. You will also have to pay a bit of money too, the process is mandated to be fully self-funded by those who utilize it. So far, and I have done everything on my own with my wife, I have paid out about $2500 for different forms to be processed and to get ID and biometrics done. And if they lose the forms, and even if they cashed the check, you will have to pay again. I know of one USAF O-6 Group Commander whose German wife will never become a citizen because Immigration lost her citizenship forms twice, costing them close to $2000. They said screw it after the second try. And it does not end for several years, until she becomes an American citizen, if she does.
I don't want to scare you too much, but you need to go into this with your eyes wide open. And I will also offer up a piece of advice, you might want to consider looking into hiring an Immigration lawyer. I have heard the figure of $5000 thrown around a few times for a total cost, but the cost may be worth it. I was on shore duty with regular hours and some time to kill when I did all of the forms to bring my wife here, I doubt I would have been able to do it while on sea duty. And yes, you fill out the vast majority of them. One note of caution, you need to find a legitimate and reputable one, I am sure there is a professional association for them. Getting a bad one could ruin everything.
As for any concerns you may have about limiting your military career, it likely will not affect it much at all. I have known scores of guys married to foreigners from all ranks and it has never impeded a single one. And don't worry about security concerns too much, unless she is North Korean or Iranian, I have known guys to married to a Russian (in the import/export liquor business and an 'interesting' parent no less) and a Serb (while we were bombing Belgrade) and both had high security clearances. There are things you would be blocked from doing, but they are rare.
So there it is, let me know if you have any more questions.
Ask yourself, can she survive on her own when you're at the squadron for 10-12 hours a day, and/or gone on the weekends. Plus the pain of moving serveral times in the first few years. If you have even a SLIGHT concern about the answers to those questions then your answer is unequivocally no. Learn this phrase "if there's any doubt, then there is no doubt."
Once you settle in and get command of your studies and feel confident and comfortable I see no problem getting engaged as it will take awhile to plan the marriage I assume. The big issue is keeping the lines of communication open with her about flight school and the stressful environment it will put on the both of you. Make sure that she is the one for you and everything else can be worked out; however, don't rush into it because of flight school or citizenship issues.
If she is the one for you go for it.
If she is the one for you go for it.
As far as marrying her, I'm willing to bet that if you do it after you are commissioned you might have to tell the command about it. The foreign part makes it more complicated, I would think. As for the security side, I'd bet that you would not be eligible for overseas billets, no Japan for you!
My wife and I lived together throughout all of flight school. She also had a job and a regular schedule, so that helped out a lot. All in all, I'm pretty pleased with how my marriage and flight school experience turned out. She was really supportive, especially when I was getting killed w/ tough scheduling.
Most people on here wont recommend getting married during flight school. I did it, I have a few buddies that have done it as well...and it's worked out pretty well for us. But the HUGE reason that it has worked out is because my wife is tough as nails and is very supportive. The language barrier will make it very tough for her to get a job and maybe to make friends, so keep that in mind.
My wife and I lived together throughout all of flight school. She also had a job and a regular schedule, so that helped out a lot. All in all, I'm pretty pleased with how my marriage and flight school experience turned out. She was really supportive, especially when I was getting killed w/ tough scheduling.
Most people on here wont recommend getting married during flight school. I did it, I have a few buddies that have done it as well...and it's worked out pretty well for us. But the HUGE reason that it has worked out is because my wife is tough as nails and is very supportive. The language barrier will make it very tough for her to get a job and maybe to make friends, so keep that in mind.
Thanks for all the replies. This is a tough one. Ideally, if she were American we would continue dating as normal and I wouldn't even be considering the idea of marriage so soon. We met abroad and dated shortly but by no means for a long time. I can see myself marrying her but I'd really like her to come to the U.S. and spend some time with me here before we commit to each other for life. I just don't see how that will be possible unless she is either my fiancee or wife. Ugh! This sucks...
Sorry to burst your bubble but there is no 'girlfriend visa'. I brought my wife in the country using a Fiance Visa, called a K-1, but you have to marry her within 90 days. There are also ways to bring in person you married overseas but I have heard several times that it is more difficult.
K-1 Visa
In all seriousness, you may want to consult a lawyer who specializes in such matters. While you might consider it a bit much, legal immigration to this country is a lengthy and difficult process. You are going to get what you pay for, and since advice in the internet is free, you may want to go the smarter route.
You would be wrong, it has been much easier for me than it has been for some guys I know whose parents are foreigners/foreign-born. They aren't worried about your spouses so much, they are worried about YOU.
Thanks for all the replies. This is a tough one. Ideally, if she were American we would continue dating as normal and I wouldn't even be considering the idea of marriage so soon. We met abroad and dated shortly but by no means for a long time. I can see myself marrying her but I'd really like her to come to the U.S. and spend some time with me here before we commit to each other for life. I just don't see how that will be possible unless she is either my fiancee or wife. Ugh! This sucks...
She could study here. I am not kidding, student visas are a lot more common and easier to get. As long as she gets into a college the visas are still a bit of a pain but much more doable. But make sure she actually comes here to study, and don't try and pull a fast one over on Immigration. It is an easy way for her to be banned from this country and for you to go to the federal pokey.
No, it is not a factor at all since a person's marital status is not known. But I would be lying to say that a wife is often an asset outside a promotion board, especially one that is socially active and 'plays the game' right. But they can be a detriment too in some cases, as evidenced by some guys experiences here.
I would recommend the fleet and family support center up at Whiting. They have great people in there and deal with stressed out SNAs on a regular basis. If they don't have an answer for you they will point you to someone who can help. I do not know what the one in pcola is like so maybe someone else could vouch for that office.
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
ding! Ding! Ding!!!