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Tailhook?

robav8r

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
eh, I think e6 was speaking more along the lines of if he had to choose between continuing as an NA or his family, not "here comet Huns...I'm staying home"

plus I wanted to use the jpeg

. . . rep points for the jpeg :D But seriously, the whole notion of "I want to be a great husband/father "first" as a NA/NFO is a "Fools Errand."
. . . . . your thoughts ???
 

e6bflyer

Used to Care
pilot
A noble and heartwarming thought, but naive and unrealistic. Whether you know it or not, the Navy and the responsibilities that come with your wings will come first - always. It's been that way since the USS Constitution earned the name "Old Ironsides."

You might be right, Rob, but I am still sticking to my post. I have plenty of time on my sea counter, and have felt the pain of deployment extensions and short notice underways. This was part of my reason for wanting to stay land based during my flying career. It's all about balance, man.
 

zab1001

Well-Known Member
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
. . . . . your thoughts ???

I'm not arguing your point. Plenty of people manage both a professional and family life, and asking what effect a specific platform will have on that endeavor is good planning in my book. For someone to say "shut up noob, you're lucky to be here" says volumes...

But I'm also single, and there are no strip clubs around here. These pretzels are making me thirsty.
 

robav8r

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
You might be right, Rob, but I am still sticking to my post. I have plenty of time on my sea counter, and have felt the pain of deployment extensions and short notice underways. This was part of my reason for wanting to stay land based during my flying career. It's all about balance, man.

I hear you . . . . . and feel your pain. But you and I both know that at the end of the day, when duty calls, we go, no questions asked. Of course, we all "try" to be the best, most supportive husband and father. And we should!!! But the reality is, we're a slave to the mission.
 

e6bflyer

Used to Care
pilot
I hear you . . . . . and feel your pain. But you and I both know that at the end of the day, when duty calls, we go, no questions asked. Of course, we all "try" to be the best, most supportive husband and father. And we should!!! But the reality is, were a slave to the mission.

true, true.
 

zab1001

Well-Known Member
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
May I suggest a "stress free" IA in Tampa ??? And while you're there, a trip to Mons Venus ;)

I'm actually the IA coordinator around here, and we had a Tampa IA due today. Alas, I start skool Monday (therefore exempt) and it was for an O-5.

(I also just got back from 10 days in Philly, NYC, and Atlantic City...I'm still finding wads of one dollar bills like Easter Eggs in my luggage and laundry)

On topic...uh...get married, who cares...
 

insanebikerboy

Internet killed the television star
pilot
None
Contributor
I hear you . . . . . and feel your pain. But you and I both know that at the end of the day, when duty calls, we go, no questions asked. Of course, we all "try" to be the best, most supportive husband and father. And we should!!! But the reality is, we're a slave to the mission.

The way I read e6's post was that if he had to bottom line choose between the Navy and his family, he'd stick with his family. I'd say that's different than dealing with the standard deployment/etc.

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but I too see no harm in asking how a platform affects family life. It was a consideration in my selection, albeit not the #1 factor, but it weighed in.
 

Rg9

Registered User
pilot
The way I read e6's post was that if he had to bottom line choose between the Navy and his family, he'd stick with his family. I'd say that's different than dealing with the standard deployment/etc.

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but I too see no harm in asking how a platform affects family life. It was a consideration in my selection, albeit not the #1 factor, but it weighed in.
And a consideration in my decision too. How come if someone says that family is a priority everyone thinks it means they don't want to honor commitments to their country? Family is a higher priority to me than the Navy. That is not an excuse, however, to shirk my responsibilities in my work, or try to get out of deployments/work/etc. If I have to miss my kids kindergarten graduation because we're getting ready to deploy, then fine. But if it came down to it and I had to choose only one, I'd choose my family in a heartbeat. It's about priorities and balance, and to blow off family considerations is foolish.

I think the question was completely legitimate. I'd answer it, but I don't know the answer.:)
 

robav8r

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
And a consideration in my decision too. How come if someone says that family is a priority everyone thinks it means they don't want to honor commitments to their country? Family is a higher priority to me than the Navy. That is not an excuse, however, to shirk my responsibilities in my work, or try to get out of deployments/work/etc. If I have to miss my kids kindergarten graduation because we're getting ready to deploy, then fine. But if it came down to it and I had to choose only one, I'd choose my family in a heartbeat. It's about priorities and balance, and to blow off family considerations is foolish.

I think the question was completely legitimate. I'd answer it, but I don't know the answer.:)

In my previous posts, I tried to communicate a broader idea that transcends the notion of having to choose between your family or a career in the Navy/Marine Corps. When you say: "if it came down to it and I had to choose only one, I'd choose my family in a heartbeat."
how can you say that when you know (or maybe you don't) it will come down to it. It's going to come down to it every time you strap on your A/C and work your way through the work-up and deployment cycle. From the perspective of being purely honest about your family and priorities, why do you choose the Navy/Marine Corps when you already know you're going to "put your family first." I have seen some incredibly successful families and relationships work because (due in large part to the spouse left behind) putting the family first was secondary to putting the reality of the military members spouse's career first. I have also seen some incredibly talented officers and sailors have their careers ruined (some by choice, others not) because the stay-home spouse could not deal with the constant separation due to deployments and sea duty.

So, (IMO and 26 years of experience) to all who think that they're going to slap on those shiny wings of gold everyday and then try to "put their family first" as a Naval Aviator/Naval Flight Officer, you're only setting yourself (and your spouse/family) up for disappointment.

. . . . thoughts ???
 

bunk22

Super *********
pilot
Super Moderator
How about this, a young pilot does his sea tour then has a choice to do a shore tour that offers time with the family or a lot of time away. If family comes first, he/she chooses the job with more family time. Or a pilot can leave his shore tour early to do a sea tour, like a shooter tour or can finish our the last year of shore duty. Doing so could hurt the career but staying means more time with the family. I had the last option and chose family. By not leaving early to do a disassociated tour cost me career wise (big reason not making O-5). But I chose my family and would do the same thing over again in a heartbeat. Plus, being a shooter was something I just simply didn't want to do.
 

robav8r

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
How about this, a young pilot does his sea tour then has a choice to do a shore tour that offers time with the family or a lot of time away. If family comes first, he/she chooses the job with more family time. Or a pilot can leave his shore tour early to do a sea tour, like a shooter tour or can finish our the last year of shore duty. Doing so could hurt the career but staying means more time with the family. I had the last option and chose family. By not leaving early to do a disassociated tour cost me career wise (big reason not making O-5). But I chose my family and would do the same thing over again in a heartbeat. Plus, being a shooter was something I just simply didn't want to do.

I understand your point. Remember, I'm not talking about the smaller, everyday/every-tour decisions we make like your example above illuminates, but the broader, overarching concept of choosing a career based on how much family time you'll get. My main thesis was that using the family time metric in determining if you should/could be a "career military officer" (or what platform to fly / what geo-location to go to) doesn't make a lot of sense because you're inevitably going to disappoint.
 
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