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OCS quotes

No just OCS. You have some writing to to at TBS but it isnt punishment at least nor intentional punishment
 
FrogFly said:
BTW, do they actually assign essays in TBS, like they do at OCS? Damnit!
Click to expand...

Oh yes. Apparently, opinions can be wrong, and since my opinion on something differed from my Co CO's, he felt it necessary to make me write a 500 word essay on why my opinion was wrong. Then he wrote on the essay that I didn't appear to really believe what I was writing and put no heart in it... go figure.

At least I wasn't the only one... several essays were assigned as a result of the responses received on the command climate survey... more people who's opinions differed from those of the COs. What did I learn from this? Just say "yes sir" when an O-4 asks if you agree with him. :icon_tong
 
Oh my lord... tears are pouring out of my eyes. I havent laughed that hard in a LONGGGGG time!!! Thanks for posting that link!!!
 
maybe we can get a mod to move that link to one of the humor threads, it would be good to share with everyone
 
The was from PI about 4 years ago...... this took place in the morning just before morning PT.

Drill Int. " Recruits fail to understand that it is my duty to f**k with you. The Marine Copr pays me $350 every month to f**k with recruit and you know what Drill Instructor is going to make sure the money is spent rightly because i won't be wrong if i turn my body into a projectile and lunch it towards your chest. I will only be doing my job"
 
We have Sgt. Ins. SSGT Gibson here in A-3 this summer. Some of his best:

"You put the anus in heinous."

"Where are the keys?"
Candidate: "What keys, SSGT?"
"The keys to the frickin' spaceship that brought you here!"

"That boy is useless as tits on a boarhog."

"Riddle me this, batman"

"That looks like 10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag"
 
"Good Morning Balloon Sergeant!" says Candidate Valens to the Platoon Sergeant! Of course you can imagine what happens to him afterwards.
 
Some of my favorites:

While practicing for the graduation parade, the drill master flipped out over the loud speaker at our guide: "India company guide, if you don't wake the **** up, i'm going to spear you through the heart with that stick"

This is probably the funniest thing that happened on firewatch
Cand:(Bangs on hatch) Good morning staff sergeant, the time on deck is oh four hundred
S/Sgt:(rips open the hatch) The time on deck ain't oh four hundred, it's zero four hundred. Oh is what your mom says when i'm tagin her from behind.
Cand: YES S/SGT.

S/Sgt: You suck deitch, aye s/sgt
Cand: Aye s/sgt

the staff's favorite was Eyeballs, lock. they would do that continously.

I'm curious, what did your staff consider a 300 word essay? Did every word count or was it just the four letter words that counted for the final 300?
 
I forgot the funniest line we had. One of our candidate company first sergeants was kinda slow. We we're all formed up outside the messhall waiting to do our little formation deal.

Cand. Company first sergeant: (in a slow wisconsin drawl) Candidate platoon sergeants, take charge of your platoons, and carry out whatever the plan of the day is.

All of the staff just buried their faces in their covers and walked off.
 
Now, that is funny. You cannot always remember everything. They come back in bits and pieces.

I remember one of our staff falling off a PT run to take a crap. The same staff also fell on a hump.
 
Golf II, 2002:

After a field op (SULE I, maybe?), we had a quick PX call. The candidate Co 1st Sgt needed new chevrons, but she didn't know which ones to get. Another candidate "hooked her up" ;) with a set.

We (the candidates AND staff) completely lost it when a sergeant instructor saw her during the after-chow formation at Bobo Hall and yelled for the "Candidate Company Master Sergeant."

Guess you just had to be there...
 
GySgt Llewellyn from A/5:
"Boy, you are stuuuupid son!" (whole platoon and GySgt cracks up)
"Look, you went and make the Gunnery Sergeant lose his bearing"

Friday night before first libo weekend:
"Everyone knows what tomorrow is right?"
us: "Liberty Gunnery Sergeant"
"Hell no, INSPECTION!"

man, i lose my bearing a lot when he is on duty.

Candidate Von Rembow
Alpha Company 5th platoon
 
A/3 Staff Sgt. Gibson:

(during inspection)
staff sgt: candidate, where is the cat?
candidate: what cat staff sgt.?
staff sgt: The cat that **** in your wall locker.

(during evening hygiene)
candidate: there are 59 candidates on deck ready and formed for the conduct of shower time.
(we all lost it, guess you had to be there, but it was hilarious)


co gunny sgt: ears, you carzy, ears, you crazy ears, ears you crazy, ears, you crazy ears, eyeballs, eyeballs, you crazy, eyeballs, eyeballs


staff sgt: you're a strange bird, candidate
 
Kilo had a Cand company 1st sgt that said, "Candidate Platoon Sgts, take charge of your platoons and march them, that way (pointing)" that was hilarious i think every1 lost it
 
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