OCS quotes

[GTodd]

Ok so mail call is one of the best times for funny lines,
a buddy of mine got a letter from his girl and it had stickers of cats on it you can guess what comes next.
SI- You better injoy that CANDIDATE (thats how they say it, I didn't spell it wrong) 'cause that is the only P@ssy you are going to get!
I was lucky I was down from the duty hut, I was laughing all the time

 

[GTodd]

Not a line but still funyy. OK so I have the Billet of PLt Co. and I am walking next to my plt as we leave the chow hall. I walk past an officer (it was dark) and I salute and say Goodmourning sir. The funny, it was a woman officer, 1st plt's co.....

 

[jdnew]

Not from OCS but still humorous. My first semester I went to NGCSU and my squad leader lived right across the hall. One night after hours I was in my room and I was hungry cuz I skipped supper, so I got my fig newtons out. Well about that time he walked in.

Staff sergeant: (with eyes popping out of his head) YOU BETTER HAVE A @#$!@ing GOOD EXCUSE FOR EATING COOKIES AFTER HOURS!?

ME:But staff sergeant, they're not cookies, they're fruit and cake.

That was by far the worst night of my life.

 

[Sabre170]

One of the best from MCRD San Diego was a DI talking to a recuit with a real bad lazy eye during hygene inspection just before taps. The DI steps infront of you and you're suppose to turn your heard and repeat some phrase... anyway the DI steps infront and Dun*** turns his head and then the

DI: "Dun*** get that eyeball off me."
Then Dun tries to turn his head more but he can't. Then
DI: "Dun*** what is wrong with your eye."
Dun***:"Sir this recruit has lazy eye."
Di: "Lazy, the Son of a B**** is dead."

The entire squad bay was in front lean and rest until taps. I felt bad for Dun*** but it was so funny noone could help but laugh.

 

[Sabre170]

I thought this may fit in here. Some of you may have seen this in an email, you Marine Corps guys will appreciate the intelligence of an Air Force 2nd Lt.

 

[Dustball]

Thats pretty good

 

[nittany03]

Surprised he made it to Major . . . ;p

 

[semperfi1812]

SI: Ready.... (Cands' suck air) ready, ready (suck air twice) readyreadyready (suck air three times) ready ready (twice) ready (once) redyredyredyredyredy (5 times, about to explode) breath it out (rush of air) ready (breath) ready then becomes an unrecognizable low sounding noise, but we knew what it meant (we know to breath) this continues until "MOVE" --> "KILL"

SI: OOOOOlyymmmmpiccss!!! Cands. "Let the games begin!!"

SI: "Buuuulllllll $hit! Noted! That's strike one.... how many do we get candidates?"
Cands: "Two Sgt Inst"

This stuff can only be funny to those who have experienced. I try and tell my buddies back home and just get blank stares. I don't tell them any more.

 

[Fongabonga]

Hey semperfi1812, were you in echo 2, 1st inc 03? I totally recognize those wonderful staff members...
The Hurricane, S.I. SSgt(GySgt select?) Hurdle and S.I. GySgt Beall... sigh* good times, good times -=)

 

[semperfi1812]

yep, echo 2. You too fonga?

 

[semperfi1812]

one time i had a billet and came in while Gysgt Beal had the squad bay thrashed and everyone was at the far end of the squad bay with all the mattresess in a pile. Gunny B. at the other end of the squad bay would yell, "sleep!" Then all the candidates would fall on the mattresses and on top of each other and try not to move and act asleep. As soon as one would move, "oh, we're not tired any more.... very well... revellie, revellie, revellie!!" All the candidates would jump to attention. This went on. "Getonline. Getoutofmysquadbay! Sleep! Rev. Rev. Rev." The funny part I though was the fact that all the candidates were just laughing underneath their breaths when ever he would yell sleep. 40 something candidates would just fall limp and try and get some shut eye. Hey, every bit counts.

The other funny thing I remember was doing Manual of Mattress Drills.
"Porrrrrt..... Matress!" "Oooorrdeeerrrr...... Matress!" "Preeesseeeeeennnt... Matress." "Green!?! What the f@*! Why are your forearms not straight?!?" "Say thankyou candidate Green!" (cands) "thank you cand Green!" (Green) "No, Sweat homies! No sweat!"

 

[EA-6B1]

How much of all the games is actually instilling some sort of discipline in the cands, and how much of it is just the SI's messing with them? How long do these "games" last?

 

[FrogFly]

The percentages are determined by a secret algorithm that is locked up in a safe in the CO's office.

The games last forever...

 

[semperfi1812]

I always thought it was determined by the candidates

"You wanna play games, we'll play games. We're on your time now candidates!"

 

[Fongabonga]

hey semperfi1812, yeah echo 2~! fongabonga = Candidate Fong, who are you?? hahah, i still remember that "SLEEP" drill as well as the Matress Manual, and ofcoarse "What is it Green?!?!" hahah nobody else gets it cept us =P my friends just don't get it...