My husband is at OCS right now

[Jen]

JZAB,
Hey.. you're post was really encouraging to me. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me. I do have it easier compared to some. It is hard on everyone going through something like this.. hopefully .. as time goes on.. it gets easier. I'm sure it will. I hope your new born bundle of joy gets healthy very soon. Good luck.. and keep up the good spirits.

 

[HH-60H]

Lol..Its true! I also have now begun picking a single pilot in the squadron to send a box to as well. Hey, single guys need fattening cookies too! And when you can send stuff MPS it makes it easy.

I've seen that in my squadron before. It usually is pretty cool for the single guys.

 

[zelda]

I had a new idea... send a sweat letter.

How would that work? Stand over a sheet of paper while working out? That would be nasty. . .

Now a sweet letter might be a better option.

Sorry, the thought of a sweat letter just made me laugh and I couldn't help myself .

 

[zelda]

Hi..my husband is currently at Marine Corps OCS at Quantico. Not to downplay your situation, but while he was (he's still) there, I delivered our first child who is in the NICU and has been for the last week. Although our baby will pull through, he is pretty sick right now. At first, without the baby, it was hard to be away from my husband...especially for the last few weeks of my pregnancy. No doubt, it sucked going to my appointments alone and having to take care of household chores being 9 months pregnant. Now, with the baby, it is even HARDER....especially when I visit my little boy and his daddy isn't there. Its also difficult because my hormones are going crazy right now too...and I need his emotional support.

BUT...I'll tell you what I am doing to get by the next few weeks..(USMC OCS is only 10 weeks)...Everyday I write a to-do list for myself. This helps the day go by faster when I have written down tasks for the day and I can check them off as I go. Every night, I sit down at my computer and type out a letter (I seem to get more written that way than writing it by hand)..and I re-cap my day in the letter. I do write everyday though..and that is important. My husband told me that getting letters from home is the highlight of his day and it keeps him motivated. So keep those letters coming!!!!!

Don't worry about what you've done or what you haven't done. Just be supportive and not too hard on yourself. This is what it will be like to be a military wife...I don't know if they have a saying like this for the Navy..but they say being a wife is the "toughest job in the corps!" and thats the TRUTH! You need to be strong...for your husband and for the Navy. Deployments will be hard too..so this is a small taste of what it will be like. Make some good friends and stick to them like glue when your husband is gone...they are your saving grace, really. I hope this helps..keep your chin up..believe it or not, the time will go by, and it will go by fast. It seems like I just had my baby yesterday, but it has been a week today.....how time flies! Hang in there, sweety

JZAB - You are one strong woman!! I wish you well with your little one.

 

[FMRAM]

How would that work? Stand over a sheet of paper while working out? That would be nasty. . .

Now a sweet letter might be a better option.

Sorry, the thought of a sweat letter just made me laugh and I couldn't help myself .

Good one...
One word of advice though...don't apologize for smart @ss comments.

 

[HH-60H]

How would that work? Stand over a sheet of paper while working out? That would be nasty. . .

Now a sweet letter might be a better option.

Sorry, the thought of a sweat letter just made me laugh and I couldn't help myself .

That's a good one.

 

[GMan1976]

Believe me, I KNOW what you're going through. My fiancee moved to CA for her 2nd Masters in Sep 2005 while I moved to Pensacola for flight school. We fly back and forth as much as possible but unfortunately our relationship is bicoastal until May 2007 when we get married. That being said, it is definitely rough. However, we get though it. One day at a time.

Understandably, it is different because we get to talk every day (sometimes more) and you and your husband can't. That, however, is something you NEED to get used to. What happens when he has to deploy for 6mos or maybe more at a time??? If his going to OCS leaves you this upset and you find it overwhelmingly hard to deal with, then I suggest the 2 of you have a long talk when he returns. You both are going to need to discuss the future and not play the "cross that bridge when we get to it" game.

My fiancee and I have talked about this at great length. She knows she is just as much a part of the Service as me... and her being so understanding is what helps ME get through the tought times too.

Tell him you miss him, but be strong for him too.

 

[webmaster]

Adopt the single JO program!!!

Lol..Its true! I also have now begun picking a single pilot in the squadron to send a box to as well. Hey, single guys need fattening cookies too! And when you can send stuff MPS it makes it easy.

This is awesome! you rock!! On both my deployments we had great wives like you, who wouldn't forget the single JOs, and make sure that they got care packages on deployment too. I have seen it first hand, a guy that was having a bad day/week, whatever, and getting more depressed as the rest of us got mail call, then surprises of surprises, he gets something from the ladies in the wives club to make HIS day, and deployment all the easier. Even had someone's mom adopt a bunch of us. Awesome to hear that you are doing the same.

John

 

[UCIslandgirl]

JEN!! Hey girl! My DB is in OCS too. Like you guys, we've been together for just about 6 years. This ish is weird. I'm actually down here in Pcola while he finishes it up. A lot of the things you wrote sound super familiar. I wonder if our macho men are in the same class???!

Don't worry about the mail stuff - I think their "rules" are hilarious. DB's class didn't secure for off base liberty and I'm just a TAD bit bummed out being literally so close and not able to see him. I think I might send him a letter with tons of stickers and lipstick kissy marks so his DI makes him push! Alright... maybe I won't be THAT mean.

Hey... are you going to the Dining Out? I'm going to PM you!

 

[UCIslandgirl]

I've written to him asking why he didn't write.. I read yesterday that's not a good thing to do. I just feel absolutely horrible!!!

FYI - those boys get almost no time to write. Sucks for us but just keep writing your letters. They love it! Atleast he better. If they're not prepping for inspections then they're studying for their tests. I've never seen a bigger group of sleep deprived guys. I've gotten letters where DB was literally falling asleep while he wrote it! :sleep_125

Hang in there!!!

 

[Thisguy]

This is awesome! you rock!! On both my deployments we had great wives like you, who wouldn't forget the single JOs, and make sure that they got care packages on deployment too. I have seen it first hand, a guy that was having a bad day/week, whatever, and getting more depressed as the rest of us got mail call, then surprises of surprises, he gets something from the ladies in the wives club to make HIS day, and deployment all the easier. Even had someone's mom adopt a bunch of us. Awesome to hear that you are doing the same.

John

True dat, I was one of the beneficiaries of this. I knew who's wife was sending me stuff so it wasn't a total surprise, but getting a big bag of Red Vines when the COD hits is pretty bueno. She also cut out pictures from Maxim to make my calendar squares, which was pretty cool.

Bottom line: single JOs need cookies and porn too.

 

[Stubby]

Jen,

I didn't go to OCS either, but I've been to my share of Navy training. I've been happily married for 15 years of my 18 years in the Navy, I've done 6 deployments and countless detachments, and let me tell you this:

Your husband may be taking some teasing about getting "decorated" mail right now, but down the road it's going to be the guys who get no mail that are really going to have a hard time. Your husband may get frustrated now, but later, whether in OCS or in his career, your support is going to help, not hurt.

Remember, he isn't the only one going through "indoctrination" right now. You have some big adjustments too. There is a reason that they say that a Navy Wife is "the toughest job in the Navy".

Thanks for your support!

 

[Jen]

Thanks Stubby.. that means a lot. It's been getting a lot easier. He's finishing his 6th week right now.. he's going strong and doing very very well. I am immensely proud of him. I am making the long drive to Florida next week though.. I leave on Thursday... and I am sooo happy to see him. THanks for the words of encouragment.. I truly appreciate it.

 

[greysword]

One thing you could do to keep occupied is prepare to move!

I don't know what your husband's designator (job) is, but I'm certain he won't be stationed in KY right out of OCS, and I'm going to guess that you will be probably moving to his place of schooling (FL for pilots, RI for Surface Warfare, etc).

If you know where he will be going to school (his designator), then you can start getting the skinny on the area. Knowing the area (apartments, utility companies, jobs in the area, schools, etc) ahead of time can be a major boon! You can begin the research now, and to be honest, you only have a couple months left to get this done, and it may not seem like enough time!

Oh, and if you need any help with ANYTHING Navy related, I can't stress how important the Family Support Center is!!! :star2_125 :sonar_125 You can find the center for your coming duty station by calling the base and/or looking it up online using google. I would like to recommend giving them a call to just say HI. Tell them that you are calling because you are a new Navy family and will be moving to the area and you just wanted to say Hello. It helps to have a contact in the area, and I'm going to guess that they will volunteer some good info right then.

You can also contact the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society if you need help with something more material. The Relief Society can provide financial assistance as a grant or loans, they operate a food bank, offer education assistance, and some other things. Their website is:

http://www.nmcrs.org/

Morale, Welfare, and Recreation is a great place to get discounts on attractions, find local events (like concerts, hiking, etc), rent recreational equipment and a whole host of other stuff. If you are going to Disney or something after OCS, MWR has discount tickets! MWR is at every military base, and can save a lot of time and money. Their generic website is:

http://www.mwr.navy.mil/

Finally, a pretty good Navy family website is LifeLines. They have all the miscellaneous info such as pay, retirement, relocation and housing advice, deployment advice, and other great stuff! Their website is:

http://www.lifelines.navy.mil/

Please do not hesitate to use these resources. Many people feel strange asking for help from an organization, but each of these have been established to help you! The Navy has been doing this for hundreds of years, and they want you to succed as a Navy family! I used many of these as a single sailor in my time, and I will use them now as a reservist (especially when I get called to active duty).

Good luck, ask any questions you have on this forum and we will be happy to help (well, maybe except for Brett, but he's a former AO ), and start planning the next move!

 

[Jen]

Yeah.. I've already got an apartment being held for us so that takes a lot of pressure off. I am currently trying to look for jobs.. but that's hard when you're not there. I am trying to prepare myself as best as I can! Thanks for all that information. I appreciate it.. when I have time (ie not at work lol) then I will definitely look all of that up!