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funny things you've heard on the radio
- Thread starter CommodoreMid
- Start date
I've told it before somewhere, and it's really RHPF's story from our days in the Meridian 1W (or whatever that moa was called). Female regional FO keeps transmitting on guard something to base about a manifest or W&B change prior to departure. Lots of angry "transmitting on guard" calls, and she still doesn't get the hint. Finally some crusty old dude pipes up and says "sounds like there is one very lonely kitchen out there tonight"........that shit is hilarious
Waayyy back in the day ('57), I'm #2 in a 4-plane T-28 formation flight 0ut of Whiting. IP is leader practicing breakups & rendezvous' at 20,000'. After breaking into the join-up trail & starting to join, #4 calls "Lead, I just saw a bird fly by!" Lead replied "I hope he was wearing his oxygen mask."
BzB
BzB
Few I've heard.
Checking out with Giant Killer on the way to the Enterprise
Controller: 615, how long till you're to Climax?
Us: It'll take me about 45 minutes
Controller: (after a bit of a pause) You're a better man than me, have a safe flight.
Down at AUTEC, the SDO sits in the Range User's Building 1, or RUB-1, so, when someone calls in checking off the range, the only correct response is "Roger, RUB-1 out"
Checking out with Giant Killer on the way to the Enterprise
Controller: 615, how long till you're to Climax?
Us: It'll take me about 45 minutes
Controller: (after a bit of a pause) You're a better man than me, have a safe flight.
Down at AUTEC, the SDO sits in the Range User's Building 1, or RUB-1, so, when someone calls in checking off the range, the only correct response is "Roger, RUB-1 out"
Old Intruder story:
- There we were...another tanker hop. A squeaky voiced fighter guy with a south-Texas accent jumps on the air with “Say Texacoooo”. I just can’t resist, so I reply with “Texacoooo”. His voice lowers an octave as he says “Say tanker posit”. I’m on a roll so I give him “Tanker posit”. CAG jumps in with “Say double cycle." “Overhead, angels 5”,says I.
“Wacker” Wyckoff 1976
- There we were...another tanker hop. A squeaky voiced fighter guy with a south-Texas accent jumps on the air with “Say Texacoooo”. I just can’t resist, so I reply with “Texacoooo”. His voice lowers an octave as he says “Say tanker posit”. I’m on a roll so I give him “Tanker posit”. CAG jumps in with “Say double cycle." “Overhead, angels 5”,says I.
“Wacker” Wyckoff 1976
Reconjoe
Active Member
"Baron Kilo Tree Seven, uh be advised I have no flight plan for you, you need to remain clear the airspace until we can get you an IFR clearance"
"Center, Kilo Tree Seven, negative that's not correct, we just filed 10 minutes ago on an iPad, I have the flight plan here.....
"Center, Kilo Tree Seven, negative that's not correct, we just filed 10 minutes ago on an iPad, I have the flight plan here.....
Two plane (C-121) trainer/FCF at Tachikawa mid 60's. They planned some air to air photos so a join up was in the works after the FCF was complete. We were the high airplane waiting on the trainer to complete field work. Our pilot calls the trainer, "Hey, we're at 17000, are you coming?"
Reply from trainer pilot, "No, but I'm breathin' hard and my eyes are closed..."
Reply from trainer pilot, "No, but I'm breathin' hard and my eyes are closed..."
On the HST for the opening days of OIF.
CAG is flying and after he makes his "ball" call you hear on the 1MC, "Carrier Airwing 3 arriving".
Well CAG gets a hook skip (as reported by CAG LSO) and bolters.
Very quickly you hear the CO of HST (with his very distinctive voice) on the 1MC, "Carrier Airwing 3 Departing"!
CAG is flying and after he makes his "ball" call you hear on the 1MC, "Carrier Airwing 3 arriving".
Well CAG gets a hook skip (as reported by CAG LSO) and bolters.
Very quickly you hear the CO of HST (with his very distinctive voice) on the 1MC, "Carrier Airwing 3 Departing"!
Overheard while transiting the great state of Texas
Houston Center - Habu 03 ident
Habu 03, Houston Center state altitude
Habu 03 - oh don't worry there is no one else up here
For those young'ns Habu was a call sign used by the SR-71
Houston Center - Habu 03 ident
Habu 03, Houston Center state altitude
Habu 03 - oh don't worry there is no one else up here
For those young'ns Habu was a call sign used by the SR-71
I've heard the U-2 guys like to ask for their descent on VHF freqs in order to cause heads to explode in Cessnas everywhere when they hear somebody requesting clearance into Class A from above.
Or the SR-71 guy requesting FL 600, and center telling him, "sure, you can have it if you can get up there," with the reply, "roger, leaving FL 700 for FL 600."
Another SR-71 story:
SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul reported one exchange. His SR-71 was screaming across Southern California, 13 miles high and its crew were monitoring cockpit chatter as they entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control the SR-71, LA monitored its movement across their scope. The SR-71 crew heard a Cessna ask for a readout of groundspeed.
"90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same.
"120 knots," Center answered.
An F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests groundspeed readout."
Center (after a slight pause): "525 knots on the ground, Dusty".
The SR-71 realised how ripe a situation this was for one-upmanship: "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?"
Center (after a longer than normal pause): "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
No further groundspeed inquiries were heard on that frequency.
SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul reported one exchange. His SR-71 was screaming across Southern California, 13 miles high and its crew were monitoring cockpit chatter as they entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control the SR-71, LA monitored its movement across their scope. The SR-71 crew heard a Cessna ask for a readout of groundspeed.
"90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same.
"120 knots," Center answered.
An F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests groundspeed readout."
Center (after a slight pause): "525 knots on the ground, Dusty".
The SR-71 realised how ripe a situation this was for one-upmanship: "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?"
Center (after a longer than normal pause): "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
No further groundspeed inquiries were heard on that frequency.
Two more classics (even if not true):
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): " Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): " Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
^heard that one before. Love that story. Pretty funny. My Great-Uncle would've been proud of that one.
Heard that one before, too. Never gets old.