Family Life as a Naval Aviator

[trkracer]

I was hoping i could receive some advice from the people on this board....

I am 23 years old and have recently been selected with an aviation contract to OCS 200. This is probably hard for some to understand, but instead of feeling excited as many hope their whole life for this type of opportunity i am in a way scared, or un-sure of what to do... Is the life of a Marine Officer for me or not?

I am a christian man, and the most important thing in my life is family. Those who know me, would label me as perfect for the job (DI athlete on National Championship team, high GPA, leadership etc) but when it comes down to it, i am the one who will be living the life of an Aviator along with the perks and hardships that come with it. One of my life goals is to meet a woman and start a family. I guess my question is how difficult is it to start a family as an Pilot in the Marine Corps? it seems with the constant traveling from OCS/ TBS, to all the various spots for flights school, and then finally a sea tour with constant deployments, when does one really have the time to make a family a reality? I feel like i have already lived the college life at this point i.e running around with the guys, etc. and feel more ready to settle into a career, work hard, and start a family. Am i looking into the completely wrong career field?

I guess i am just looking for some advice from others who have the same ideals, and have been in my shoes.... Thanks for the advice from those who contribute

 

[Paddles]

It's like college with money and planes. You may want to look elsewhere, if you're looking to start a family in less than 5 years.

 

[MIDNJAC]

I can't tell you about being a winged aviator yet, but as a student in the pipeline with a long term, long distance g/f I can tell you that it sucks so far (not the flying part, but the family/relationship aspect). I have been home exactly once since I started flight school, and have only seen the girl two other times since then. Yes there are students who I know that have wives/familes/etc and I really have to give them credit for what they do....it would be very hard IMHO to juggle family and a full time job like flight school. Personally I would recommend waiting on the rings for a while, but that is just my personal opinion.

One other aside, I came down to Pcola thinking that I too had lived up college (I did it for nearly 7 years for crying out loud ), but I quickly found that things get much crazier once you have 1) beach, 2) decent paycheck, 3) lots of other friends with nothing else to do. The beer isn't as good down there or here as it was back in Eugene (I'm from your hometown) but just consider that you very well may not totally be done enjoying your youth. Just a few things to think about.....and I don't personally think you are looking at the wrong career. Lots of different types of people here that don't all fit the stereotype, both Navy and Marine.

 

[phrogpilot73]

Unless there's something you're not telling us, the ladies in this world may have a different plan for you. Just sayin'... Live your life. It'll work out, and the right woman will support you.

 

[picklesuit]

As an Aviator with a Wife and 2 kids, it can be done. Takes hard work by both halves in the marriage. I made it through Boot camp, Aircrew, SERE, A and C school, OCS, API, Primary/Advanced and have been able to keep her (mostly) happy. In fact our worst fights came when I was waiting in between schools...I get bored and frustrated and in turn I piss my wife off...makes the time fly right by...

As a Marine Aviator you will have no problem finding a woman (or a man for that matter) to love you. Just make sure she isn't an Udapao Stripper and you'll be on the right track.

 

[NozeMan]

If you don't even have the girl yet, dont worry. I also dont think that you'd have a better chance of finding Mrs. Right on the outside vs. while in the Marines. Why not have a kick ass job and let the rest fall into place?

Personal input: I've been married for 2 years which has spanned all of flight school and now the FRS. Marriage works if you both make the effort. Plenty of people even start their families as students. It works.

 

[Dirty]

I have seen friends share some of the most amazing marriages in the military, one's that make me want to get married. Then I have seen some which remind me why I'm not... That's about the best you're gonna get friendo..

 

[exhelodrvr]

I guess i am just looking for some advice from others who have the same ideals, and have been in my shoes.... Thanks for the advice from those who contribute

It's a personal choice, works for some people, not for others.

1) Your wife/significant other has to be behind you 100%.

2) The biggest issue I saw with friends was them missing big chunks of kids' childhoods while on deployment.

FWIW, I made the choice to switch to TAR (the active component of the Reserves; I think that they are called FTS now) after my first two children were born; at that time it meant minimal chance of long deployments (I'm sure that has changed now). On a personal career level, it meant not being part of "front lines" in an carrier air wing squadron, but I have never regretted the choice. I probably would have gotten out rather than going back on sea duty, because of not wanting to miss out on those aspects of family life.

 

[abracadabra11]

I do not have your flawless ideals, but starting a family and finding a woman to do so is quite easy in the Navy/Marine Corps. The trouble isn't finding someone (and it sure as hell isn't making the little devils to fill out the family), but rather, keeping that family. So, if I were you, I'd ask about the things people do to maintain a strong lasting relationship (especially from the older/career folk).

 

[ea6bflyr]

It sounds as though you are motivated. Good. If and when you find a good woman, you need to make sure she enters the relationship with her eyes wide open. Meaning that she knows that there will be deployments in the future. That's what we do in the military; it's what we get paid to do. While you will get non-operational jobs for a few years in between, you will deploy when attached to a war-fighting unit.

I've been married for 20+ years and I've been in the military for 24+ years. My wife is very understanding and supportive of everything I do but it does take work to keep the marriage going. She understands the sacrifices we must make.

If the military is what you want to do, then do it. The rest will fall into place.

-ea6bflyr

 

[exhelodrvr]

trkracer,
"I am a christian man,"

That isn't a factor at all, IMO. They face the same family issues as those who aren't Christians do. And there are plenty of opportunities for worship/fellowship when you are deployed, if that is your concern.

 

[trkracer]

exhelodrvr-

i by no means ment to imply, that those who are or are not a specific religion value family any more or less than the other. I apologize if i came across that way.

i would also like to give thanks to everyone who has commented so far. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and ideas.

Thanks

 

[USNMark]

Am i looking into the completely wrong career field?

As long as you're understanding of the many sacrifices involved in military service and are willing to shoulder the responsibilities involved, in exchange for an amazing opportunity as an officer and also a pilot, then you're in the right place my friend. As others have said, keep the faith--for you in particular that means place your full faith in God's plan for you--and not only will you find a great woman someday (soon), but you'll overcome any obstacle.

 

[NUFO06]

I am still in flight school, got married before API, and had a baby during flight school, wouldnt recommend it. Its been hard but I def have to agree with comment above that my wife and I only really fought when I was home doing nothing for days on in while waiting to class up. We get along much better even though life is much harder now. It makes the parts of the weekends i get to spend with my kid even more meaningful.

Dont worry about the family part...you dont have anyone to consider yet so be selfish.....while you still can, if you meet somebody along the way then they know what they are getting into. Do you want to fly? That is the only question you need to worry about.

 

[bunk22]

If you're worried about starting a family over flight training, deployments, whatever, maybe this isn't for you. You'll meet plenty of women through your travels, have plenty of opportunities to party and mix it up. I think there are far better things to worry about. However, in Pensacola, there are plenty of places to meet nice, family oriented girls. Lets see, there is Seville, Captain Fun's, Bamboo Willies, Florabama, Haverty's Angels and of course Sammy's....I'm telling ya, quality girls.