Get with the program or retire. My twentysomething self was pretty anti-gay, but it's because of the time I grew up in and my lack of life experience. If my fortysomething self who served with several outstanding LGBT Sailors was the same way, I'd have wasted half my life.
This is an interesting point. The Navy and DoD is collectively is only 10 years from where it was hunting for LGBT members to kick out. Even the O4s who put together the JO rack and stack during the FITREP 500 entered at a time where it was culturally encouraged to do so. Not trying to kick a group of people out from service is an important milestone but only one of many in the transformation to truly becoming an accepting organization. A lot of the cultural transformation to acceptance has been left up to individual effort. It has not been a universal institutional change that has happened quickly.
There’s a bunch of posts painting with broad strokes and rose colored glasses about how people have never seen or heard of people they served with ever having issues with gays as long as they didn’t flaunt it etc. That’s certainly the party line and may very well have been the case in specific instances but doesn’t paint a complete picture. I’ll expand on my post alluding to how being “out” post DADT hasn’t always been career enhancing. Looking back on it with the benefit of employment at several DEI champions of companies, I cringe at what was once viewed as culturally acceptable in the Navy.
During my shore tour after repeal of DADT there was a JO in the wing who was told by their Navy CO in their FITREP debrief that they got an MP as their final FITREP because the Coast Guard XO didn’t like them… turns out the XOs close friend and mentor was the Coast Guard Liaison Officer O-6 in Pensacola and JOs former CO in the VTs who right before the repeal of DADT was announced attempted to initiate proceedings to kick the JO out due to his moral convictions after the squadron flight doc informed the CO that the JO had admitted their orientation while receiving medical care in the base clinic. This action was overruled by CNATRA because power to kick someone else got removed from unit level commanders the year prior. MP shore tour meant FOSx2 was in that JOs future.
Disassociated sea tour post DADT I had an O-5 boss on the carrier openly state that he couldn’t kick out an LGBT sailor now so he just had to hope that he killed himself so he wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. “Fucking faggot” and other anti gay slurs were tossed around regularly at the wardroom table by JOs including one who made it to the front office of a VQ squadron.
I know a JO who around 5 years or after repeal that got an unranked MP for their final FITREP in their fleet squadron with no tangible explanation from the front office as to why but they were “out” post DADT. “Gobbles” who was previously referenced in a post and had a positive fleet experience on the west coast, thought his experience was universal and outed this other JO to his east coast squadron. Unranked MPs from JO tours in aviation are career enders as we know.
Someone posted that there’s about to a couple COs who are out in VAQ… there are still LGBT O-5+ who felt they had to marry the opposite gender and have a child to have a successful career in the Navy. I know two LGBT pilots in the helo community who made O5 CO and then O6 (one was a bachelor HT CO during DADT and repeal and one was an operational CO a few years ago) and a SWO CO who commanded a DDG before making O6. Obviously they made it successfully but how much was a factor of not being “out”at the right time/ right command, or getting stationed on the left coast where heavy socially progressiveness of the local community fosters a more accepting environment?
There’s no denying there has been progress made since DADT repeal but It’s going to take an additional 20 years to get to the point where those in leadership positions entered the service when it wasn’t culturally accepted and engrained to kick people out for being LGBT. Perhaps LGBT needs to be a diversity consideration in FITREPs and promotion boards along with race and gender for more consistent career opportunities until DoD gets there.
These days if someone was LGBT just starting their DoD job search I’d probably recommend going Guard first because each unit has their own individuals culture and an applicant can shop individual units and see how accepting they are of their LGBT members more easily by asking simple questions about how the LGBT members of the command like it. If there aren’t any out members of the command that are commonly known that’s a big red flag that the command culture isn’t accepting of the LGBT community, even this day in age.
A couple days ago was apparently my AW 19th year anniversary haha, mother of god
