Being Gay in Naval Aviation

[Jstalz]

As I am waiting to go to OCS, I can't help wonder what its like to be gay in naval aviation or in the Navy in general. I couldn't find much about this topic on here in except from around the time DADT was repealed, so I was hoping to learn more about today. Is it there still a lot of social stigma around gays within military culture? What's it like to date when you're naval aviator, not only if, but especially if, you're gay? If I'm going to spend 10 years in an organization that I hope to prove myself worthy to belong to, I want to have some foresight as to how I'll fit into the culture that runs through the professional environment and how I'll be able to grow in terms of my personal life.

Thanks.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

It’s the 21st century and DADT has been repealed for a while now.

There are many LGBTQ members service members including naval aviation.

No one cares about your personal lifestyle as long as it doesn’t go against navy core values (i.e. doing things that are illegal) and it doesn’t impact your daily work activities and impacting those around you.

 

[Griz882]

I know one gay guy in Army SF and one USMC who spent 100% of his career “in the closet” because he was pre-DADT. In the case of the SF guy, no one cared because, as @FormerRecruitingGuru noted these are modern times and no one really cares about what you do in private. The Marine (he was on my team) lived a different life but everyone in the team knew and no one bothered him with it beyond the occasional joke.

People might poke fun every now and then, but they do the same for everyone.

 

[sevenhelmet]

If you're an officer and a Naval Aviator first, I wouldn't expect anyone to give you grief about your personal life. If you wear your personal life like a chip on your shoulder, expect special treatment because of it, and let it define who you are more than the service and the mission... in that case, you could expect a lot of friction.

In short, be professional, and nearly everyone will treat you with dignity and respect, as they should.

 

[hdr777]

Is it there still a lot of social stigma around gays within military culture?

No not really, you may still hear people throw around 'that's so gay', or use gay in deragatory ways, but I've never seen it be directed at a person specifically. You definitely wouldn't stand out or be excluded because of it.

What's it like to date when you're naval aviator, not only if, but especially if, you're gay?

In flight school it sucks because a lot of the places you may go don't have a big population, let alone gay population. You dating pool is small inside and outside of naval aviation. Pensacola isn't too bad, but Kingsville is terrible. Outside of flight school, Jacksonville, Norfolk, San Diego are all decent and have a more non navy population which makes it better, but there's still some places you could go to that aren't great.

If I'm going to spend 10 years in an organization that I hope to prove myself worthy to belong to, I want to have some foresight as to how I'll fit into the culture that runs through the professional environment and how I'll be able to grow in terms of my personal life.

Feel free to message me after you commission, there's some facebook groups that are good for making connections, Pensacola specifically has a pretty active/big group, lots of brunchs and other stuff.

Overall though, it's typically not a big deal, but you may still be the only or one of the few gay people in your squadron but it's not a bad thing.

 

[Bad_Karma_1310]

To go against the grain here, I would roughly estimate is that 90%-95% of people won’t care and won’t treat you any different from anyone else. But from events I have personally witnessed, your going to have a small minority that your going to have to put up with not being as accepting. That coupled with having to live in the Deep South for several years during flight school are things to mentally prepare for.

In general even though as a community we have come a long way, we still have problems accepting and embracing diversity of all types.

 

[robav8r]

In 1995, I was an instructor at a command called Sea-Based Weapons and Advanced Tactics School, Pacific (SWATSCOLPAC). The very first Navy Sailor to come "out of the closet" back then, publicly, after DADT was an Aviation Anti-Submarine Warfare Operator named Keith M. He was a first class petty officer and an acoustic operator (SS1) assigned to a Whidney based, VP squadron. He showed up for one of our Wolf-Hunt ASW exercises, and he was wearing a "PINK" watch band. We knew he was coming, and we were READY to find fault with ANYTHING we could find. A PINK fucking watchband - the HORROR !!! I flew with him, and his crew against an SSN on the SCORE range (USS Chicago) during several sorties. You know what? He was one of the best acoustic operators and ASW warfighters I have ever seen. He made calls and tracked the shit out of the Chicago. I realized then that it doesn't matter who you fuck or what gets your motor running. Just be good at your job, be a good person, help the team, nothing else matters.

 

[joe dirt]

Nobody cares. There was a gay pilot in one of my previous squadrons and 2 on my last MEU, nobody gave a shit.

 

[gparks1989]

What's it like to date when you're naval aviator, not only if, but especially if, you're gay? .

Can't speak to the second part, but it's difficult. Unpredictable schedule, gone a lot, stereotypes about the military, plus some choice locales (unless you have a thing for meth heads). There's reason lots of folks seem to lock down their high school/college sweetheart.

The military is generally a cross-section of society and reflects society's attitudes. 20 years ago it probably would have been very rough, but nowadays nobody will care. If they do care, they're probably an asshole anyways. Good on you for asking a tough question like that.

 

[Brett327]

FWIW, my XO is LGTBQ, same sex marriage, two adorable little kids. It’s pretty normal these days, as it should be. She’s is also a great role model for our other female Sailors, and our other same sex couples. If this year’s Aviation Command Screen Board goes as expected, the Growler community will have its first openly gay CO.

 

[AllAmerican75]

As I am waiting to go to OCS, I can't help wonder what its like to be gay in naval aviation or in the Navy in general. I couldn't find much about this topic on here in except from around the time DADT was repealed, so I was hoping to learn more about today. Is it there still a lot of social stigma around gays within military culture? What's it like to date when you're naval aviator, not only if, but especially if, you're gay? If I'm going to spend 10 years in an organization that I hope to prove myself worthy to belong to, I want to have some foresight as to how I'll fit into the culture that runs through the professional environment and how I'll be able to grow in terms of my personal life.

Thanks.

I've served with plenty of members of the rainbow club over the last decade and they were good Sailors and people. Just be normal, don't make it your entire personality, work hard, and be understanding when not everybody wants to roll to the gay bar or whatever with you. The hardest time you're likely to have is going to certain foreign countries where being gay isn't legal or accepted. Don't be flamboyant and wearing pride clothing in Africa or the Middle East for instance because you become a target to get hemmed up, rolled, or beaten up.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I served before, during, and after DADT, there were several we knew were gay, they didn't say anything, we didn't say anything. If you do your job no one should care about who your significant other is.

 

[cfam]

FWIW, my XO is LGTBQ, same sex marriage, two adorable little kids. It’s pretty normal these days, as it should be. She’s is also a great role model for our other female Sailors, and our other same sex couples. If this year’s Aviation Command Screen Board goes as expected, the Growler community will have its first openly gay CO.

Second (one current XO as well), but the guy I’m assuming you’re referring to is a great American and it’s well deserved.

 

[Swanee]

Just be normal, don't make it your entire personality,

If you're heavily anchoring on one thing in your life to build your entire personality around you're the weird guy to anyone who doesn't do that thing. Whether that's flying, or the Navy/Marine Corps, or doing drugs, or craft beer, or playing music, or baseball, or politics, or religion, or lumberjacking or whatever.

 

[Sonog]

Professionally, it shouldn't matter.

Culturally, I think we're still growing. However, any snide remarks or eye rolls you might encounter within the wardroom are probably from the minority of backwards troglodytes or insecure schmuckatellis. You should, and will be more concerned with landing on the back of a boat on a dark ass night.