Baby on the way!

[gagirl]

Congratulations to Country Boy and rare21! I've got 5 more weeks to go and I'm done with the baby thing. I've got 5 yr old twin girls and another girl on the way.
All I can add is do what you think is right. If you want to pick them up then do it. Tell your wives to listen to their instincts they're usually right. When she asks you to do something just do it without asking questions. Even if it sounds crazy. She's got a reason.

Please listen to RockyMtnNFO's advice it would be nice. I'm a small person in height and size, but when your 8 mos along and your husband says "you're getting really big now" that doesn't go over very well. Not cool!

Having twins I don't remember much about the 1st few months so take it all in. Keep a journal of what the baby does when and what he/she says first. How you feel etc. The kids will enjoy it later on.
Good luck and if you all have any questions then please ask.
Congrats again. Post more pics if y'all want.

 

[gagirl]

Just to add...my husband is helping with the hurricane relief and will not be here for the birth so yes my monster in law is coming. If it wasn't a csection then I'd try to wing it myself. Ugh, I dread it. I've got my meals planned so she won't cook.

 

[kelly]

gagirl- I know what you are saying about not remebering much those first few months. I have 3 year old twin daughters, and the first whole year is a blur to me!! When they were 22 months old I had my 3rd baby! With having twins the first time, the singleton was a breeze. Good luck to you and your family!! Congrats on the new baby soon to arrive.

As far as letting the babies put themselves to sleep, everyone feels so different on that aspect of parenting. There is a big difference in letting them put themselves to sleep and letting them scream thereself to sleep. I always put my babies down after their last feeding while awake, turned the music and night light on and let them fall asleep on their own. If they did fuss I would go in there, and comfort them, and hold them if needed. I just feel it is easier on everybody if the baby can go to sleep on their own, and not depend on you to rock them, walk them or drive them around in the car to go to sleep every night. Of course there are nights that is all that will work!! BUT......... I had twins the first time and it was hard to just run in and pick them up at the first wimper everytime. There are the hard core parents that let the babies scream and scream until they fall asleep on their own, but as a infant no that is not a good thing. Now when they get a little older and they know that they can scream and get that attention, yes I think letting them cry a little while before going in there is ok. I would make sure they were not wet, hungry, or hurting then leave the room again. You just have to work out what is best for you and yours.

Good luck to all getting ready to have babies!!!! IT is a very exciting time. Gagirl had a great point to just journal some of the feelings, and thoughts you have, because it does go by so fast.

Kelly

 

[NavyWife2001]

CONGRATS!!!! We just had baby boy #2 Aug 30th. I forgot about the no sleep thing. LOL! Just make sure to get him on a schedule ASAP. If your wife is going to nurse get her to start as soon as she can after delivery. (Even if she does have a c-section.)
I can't stress a schedule enough! My first one was on a 3 hr schedule till he started on "real food" then went to 4 hours and is still taking 2, 2 hours plus naps at 22 months of age. The schedule is to help you and your wife and it helps the baby be calm because he will know what is coming!
NEVER put a baby down asleep...they need to learn to go to sleep on their own or you will be rocking them forever. I agree with Jenny......our first son had to scream for 3 hours straight to learn to sleep through the night. It took one night of screaming and the next night he slept from 9 pm to 6 am and then eventually 7 pm to 7 am and still does it at 22 months old. It may sound harsh, but they have to start growing up even as an infant.
Oh, and every baby is different, you may have a sleeper from the start! You just have to try a little bit of everything to see what works for you and your wife!
Good luck with everything!
Blessings!
Nic <><

 

[saltpeter]

For those proponent of putting your kids to bed in their own room and letting them cry themselves to sleep. I'd like to see you cry for fifteen minutes or more and your husband or wife not console you. You'd divorce them quicker than sh^t. Your children are only young once, enjoy it, spoil them. B^tching kids aren't spoil, their parents are absentees who always fulfill their own needs. Their kids are simply show pieces. You won't sleep and they'll crawl into bed with you often. Your me time and us time will be non-existant for the next eighteen years, too bad, suck it up. You reward will be happy children. Or take the advise for some shrink whose been divorced six times or whose children don't speak to them.

 

[NavyWife2001]

Do you even have any children?

 

[saltpeter]

Yup, a teenager. Born 1 pound six ounces, many years ago. No sleep, no sleep, I still get very little of it. Outside of working, I'm available for him, and my wife agrees - children first. Don't have 'em until you can commit. So for all those that pat themselves on the back for the sacrifices they'll make for their careers - I say make twice or three times for blood. I even play playstation with him and I HATE playstation,but he doesn't know that.

 

[NavyWife2001]

LOL.....Well we do what we have to do, playstation and all.

 

[kelly]

I let my kids cry when they were toddlers not infants, and they are very happy three year olds now. They developed very well, mentally, physically, and emotionally. If your toddler is crying and you have checked to make sure nothing was wrong, it is not going to hurt them to cry for a little while. Like I said in my other post, everyone feels different on this subject and I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. I do know if you let them cry a few nights they learn quickly to go to sleep on there own. If you run in the room everytime you hear them start to cry it will take 3 times as long to get them to sleep on there own. They will be five and you will still be rocking them to sleep every night. At one point or the other you will most likely get to the point of just letting them cry for a little while for a night or two.

Navywife2001 has a point do you even have kids? I have three three and under, and like I said all my childern are happy, smart, and can put them selves to sleep.

Kelly

 

[saltpeter]

Being that small, every waking minutes was spent in a NICU by my wife and when I wasn't at work me too. The nurses used to have to ask us to leave every night, so they could get work done. It's amazing how many other parents were hardly ever there, shame on them. On kid turned a year and guess what - NO F^CKING PARENTS TOO BE FOUND. My wife bought a cake and we sang happy birthday to him with the staff.

 

[NavyWife2001]

Well, I guess I am one of those monsters....I let my first one cry at 8 weeks to get him to sleep through the night. Took one time and he slept 12 hours plus a night, still does.

Kelly....have you heard if there are any vacancies at Hunter's Cove these days...I think we are a month out from moving!

 

[Fred]

We never let any of our kids cry it out. All four were sleeping a good 6-9 hour stretch at night by 2mo, and 10+ by 5-6mo. We've never had much of a problem with bed times. It would kill me to hear one of my babies crying for me for hours and just leaving them in there alone. I'd say it was about 50/50 if they were awake or rocked to sleep before putting them down. If I put them down and they started crying they were picked back up. I really enjoyed them snuggling and falling asleep in my arms. They were going to bed on their own long before 2 even with the rocking. They are now 16, 13, 10, and 6 and go to bed just fine. Well..except for the 16yo...but...well...she's 16 and not the easiest age to set a bed time for.

 

[kelly]

That is very sad! I had twins which were born 6 weeks early. So I know were you are coming from, I was there from sun up to sun down. There were several parents that were never there for their little ones. I also understand were you are coming from with the no letting them cry thing, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. My husband is always gone with training and studing, I was basically a single mother of newborn twins. So it was very hard in the beginning. There were times I was outside their door on the floor crying right with them. It was not the fact of not being ready to commit, cause I am fully committed to all my childern. I am sure you all had a different situation, for me I had to let them cry sometimes. Now it was a little different when my son came along, with there just being one.

 

[NavyWife2001]

I also understand were you are coming from with the no letting them cry thing, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Major DITTO!

 

[JenFisher03]

I am sorry!!! I really didn't mean to start such a "debate" with the sleep issue. I was just saying that is what worked for us. By no means did I ever let my child scream for hours and not go in to comfort him. His personality has actually been so independent from birth, that he has never been a cuddler. He likes his space and wouldn't let us rock him to sleep even the week he came home. So...this worked for us. Our next child may need to be rocked to sleep every night to feel safe and comfortable!! I just didn't mean for my comment to turn into a "you're a bad parent because you do this" discussion. I think both ways are right depending on you and your child. Please don't think that someone doesn't love their child or doesn't provide tons of love, affection, and attention when they do this either. I love my son more than anything in the world. I would give up anything for him.

Jenny