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Touche. Funny thing is that the 3 people (non-officers) who edited my statement prior to posting liked the analogy. Go figure. Oh, and it's late so that's why the typo. I think it's time to sleep on this and revise it tomorrow.

Ok, I'm getting rid of the burger thing. If I get rid of the burger thing on the first posted essay, it's down to 380 words. With some other minor condensing I can probably get it down to 350. With a revision of my last paragraph, I'll have plenty of room to expand on why I want to be a Naval...

Eh, what the hell I'll post the 397 word essay. I'm probably not gonna use this, though, since it sounds too choppy and underdeveloped for my taste. So I'll probably remove the burger part. You tell me though: ---------------------------------- There are few things more American than a good...

First, thanks for the input everyone. -Goob, I've been in touch with my recruiter constantly. I went to him about a month ago, and spent the last month making sure that I can run the 1.5 mi run in sub 12.5 min. Situps and pushups are easy for me, but I've never been a fast runner. He let me...

How could I re-word that sentence then without sounding too presumptious?

Why would I mention things in my essay that are contained elsewhere in my application? My gpa is 3.72, I got 90th percentile on the SATs and MCATS (I wanted to be a dr. but med school wouldn't have me). I played numerous sports in high school including lacrosse, hockey, and bowling, along with...

Yea, I know the burger part is a little...unconventional, but I thought it gave the essay a little more character than the average motivational statement. The goal was to basically say that I am a perfectionist even with things as mundane as making a burger without actually saying "Hi, I am a...

Hey all...Looking for edits/opinions of my motivational statement. If you are morally opposed to the idea of having a motivational statement edited, please refrain from posting in this thread -- I don't want to hear it, and I personally believe that any good piece of writing gets looked over by...

Ok, I'll take the lab just to be safe. The schools around here are on a semester system. "Winter session" refers to a 3-4 week condensed class, similar to summer sessions. You go to class for 4 hrs/day and if you miss one, you fail. Most schools do not give physics I or calc I in spring...

Yep, very helpful. I guess the only reason I'm worried about it is because I'm going to be doing at least Physics I over winter session, and I'm not sure they offer lab for it during that time. I didn't want to be stuck waiting to take Physics I lab because it's required for the Navy. If I have...

@Kathy, Thanks for the info. I know it's probably professor dependent, but I'll be taking the class at a local community college so I anticipate it not being too tough. @Thisguy, Thanks for the info regarding that. I'm a little confused though: do you mean that once you're done with your 3...

Thanks for the info on the masters thing. Since I'm not ROTC or an instructor, that probably means I won't be able to do it. It's always good to know what parts of the navy's "promises" are just blowing smoke up your ass. At any rate, what I was asking is two things really: 1) is calc-based...

I posted on this forum a while back and got a lot of useful information regarding the Navy officer programs. I first went to the Navy as a way to pay my way through medical school and still do a good service to this great country. Well, unfortunately I didn't get accepted into med school (on two...

This sentence is not saying what you want. You want to say that you will have the opportunity use your current eadership and language skills as a Naval officer in addition to developing even better leadership abilities. In your sentence now, the verb "learning" applies to both "others" and...

Use $3 flowery words? No, not saying that he has to go that far. There's a big difference between using better vocabulary to shorten your essay and make it more to the point, which is what you want, and using words to make your essay "flowery." I'm suggesting that he does the former. Using good...

I can't comment on the content, but the language is very basic and the writing is choppy. In other words, your essay sounds like: I want to be in the Navy. I like the Navy. The Navy is good. I think I'm good enough for it. You should pick me because I was a boyscout. I like planes. I want to...

I don't see what's so not black and white about lying. There's telling the truth, and there's not telling the truth aka lying. There's no inbetween. Not telling half the truth is lying. Notice I'm not advocating that everyone must be 100% forthright about everything they've ever done. I know...

Lying is lying. It doesn't matter if it's medical or criminal.

My gf's sister just signed up for an Army ROTC program. She's going to get a degree in nursing then serve in the Army as a nurse. When she told her recruiter a few months ago that she was deathly allergic to bee stings, his response was telling her not to reveal that information about herself...

I'm not really offering advice. I've seen some people here jump on a lot of guys who haven't served (yet) who give their opinion on anything they've seen/heard. Yes, we're on the outside and don't know what it's really like until we get there, but the people we meet and talk to are still real...

I knew someone would chime in with that. You can think what you want, but go ahead. I have two close friends who went into the corps. And the marine officer who I quoted as wanting the M14 is the one who's actually been the most supportive and helpful of my trying for OCS. Take it for what you will.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not in the military, but I know and have talked to about a dozen people who have served in each branch. I can't speak about their mission too intelligently, but I can tell you what each person is generally like: Samadma mostly hit the nail on the head, but here's what I've...

Expunged will seal your record from private employers. The government sees all.

Not at the moment. You guys have been most helpful. I find the study material on the ASTB stickies to be either too in-depth (ie for people already in primary) or too basic, but I guess I'll just deal with it. I've been much more successful at finding aeronautic info than nautical info. The...

Thanks guys. As to my "looking stuff up:" 1. I saw the NAMI site before, but the Arco ASTB review book said pilots MUST have 20/20. I came on here to seek an answer from those who have been through the process. Hence the confusion: looking up 2 different sources yielded 2 different answers. 2...

I posted a while ago about becoming a navy officer. I have some specific questions about potentially turning in my application for a pilot, so I know whether I should even consider the option: 1. I know that my uncorrected vision isn't 20/20. It's somewhere around 20/30-20/35. I've read...

Heh. My father's a correction's officer. He carries pepper spray, only carries his gun if he's in REALLY bad areas, but still has the pepper spray. Why? Well, if some 6'8'' behemoth attacks you, you can't legally shoot him, but you can squirt him in the eye and run away with no hassle...

Ok, now I understand a little better. I can see why you pulled over, because if they continued to harass you on the road, you might have gotten into an even worse accident. I guess situations like these is why it's unfortunate more states don't have concealed carry laws.

Well, I can probably get a glowing letter from my TKD instructor. He's like a second father to me, and he's the first one who can attest to all the personal qualities the Navy would like. I'm out of college a little under 2 months. I teach part-time for Kaplan. I should be able to get a...

Dude, no offense, but if someone tried to pull me out of my car I'm driving the hell away. If he stands in front of it, I'm going to run him the **** over. This all goes back to the police in your area being completely inept. I can just picture the conversation: "911 can I help you?" "Yeah...

Well, I know one, but it's iffy. He's over 50 and officially tried to retire from the Rangers 10 years ago. He was field commissioned, served in 'nam, got a nursing degree (of all things) where my mom met him and worked with him for many years so he's a close friend of the family, and has been...

Ok, here's a questions about the letters: Do I need a letter of recommendation from a commissioned officer? If so, does it have to be a Navy officer, or any branch?

Well, what is the good reason no one does nukes? I personally am not really attracted to it, as I really don't want to serve aboard a submarine. Also, I don't even think I meet the requirements. Even though I have a BS in Biology, I took one year of algebra physics, and I placed out of...

So then charge them with a civil suit, which you would have to do anyway to get the $ if you filed a criminal suit.

Learn to lock your door when you drive in the car. Not only to avoid scenarios like this, but there are reports of people who get into car crashes and the door opens from the impact. Locking them reduces the chances that this happens. It sucks, but you gotta let this one go. You want to...

Yes, but your girlfriend knows you, so it's still your story vs. theirs with no one else to verify it. Basically, it's more trouble than it's worth to you at this point, because like I said with such a weak case the prosecution will look to plea bargain, and of course you'll reject yours...

The sad truth is, don't bother. Without a third-party witness to verify your story, it's your word against theirs. I don't know what the pictures can show other than you were in an altercation. They cannot verify or deny whatever it is the other two shmucks told the cops that made the DA...

Ok, here's the deal. After my freshman year in college, I decided I would try to become a doctor. However, I really ****ed it up royally my sophomore year. It all started when a couple of friends and I thought it would be funny to shoot a fire extinguisher out the window. It was really funny...