Not to mention the sim that caught on fire a couple times.
Lockheed IP: "You've got a fire"
Motivated SNA: "Ok, sir. Turn and confirm. Is the fire confirmed?"
Lockheed IP: "No, dumbass! The damn SIM is on fire! GTFO!!"
I wish I was kidding
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Thoughts on the T-34
- Thread starter Longhorn
- Start date
Not to mention the sim that caught on fire a couple times.
Lockheed IP: "You've got a fire"
Motivated SNA: "Ok, sir. Turn and confirm. Is the fire confirmed?"
Lockheed IP: "No, dumbass! The damn SIM is on fire! GTFO!!"
I wish I was kidding
Harrier Dude
Living the dream
Not to mention the sim that caught on fire a couple times.
Lockheed IP: "You've got a fire"
Motivated SNA: "Ok, sir. Turn and confirm. Is the fire confirmed?"
Lockheed IP: "No, dumbass! The damn SIM is on fire! GTFO!!"
I wish I was kidding
Happened to me in reverse.
Me: Sir, performing smoke and fumes elimination procedures.
IP: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: Sir, I've got smoke in the cockpit.
IP: What are you talking about? I never said that. When did I say that?
Me: Sir, there is smoke in here.
IP: Seriously? Like real smoke?
Me: Yes, sir. Didn't you do that?
IP: Get the fuck out, dumbass!!! We don't have a smoke machine for the sim!
I thought it was some kind of cool simulation. Instead it was just a shorted out wire.
Would you have gotten an above for correctly performing the bail out EP?
I always wanted to do just that during an EP...just say "Fuck It, bailing out" and pull back the canopy and tuck and roll down the stairs and end up in a ball at the foot of the sim IP.
C4390 in the Weenie. The lineman bangs on my wing after the start and points frantically at the nose. He then gives the "alternate fire signal", bolts away from the plane.
Me: "Shit, sir, I think we're on fire."
Shut it down, solve the rubiks cube of straps and buckles to get out, slide the canopy open and jump out.
Standing on the tarmac, I look up and the IP is still sitting there, strapped in, laughing his ass off at me.
"That has to be my favorite simulated emergency to give. That lineman was into it more than most of them. He really sold it."
I think 99% of the time I've given that EP (I did it on shutdown just because it took forever to get someone strapped back in), I would get the same response, "Sir, he's saying we have a fire. <sits there waiting patiently>"
Me: "Then why are you still sitting there?"
Ask Nittany03 about his experience with that one....
My neighbor in Corpus was an IP in the IUT unit in VT-27 back in the early 80's. He had an Italian stud that was on an instrument hop of some kind that put him (the stud) in the back seat of the T-28 (the T-28 had a curtain in the back for instrument training IIRC). The student in the back seat gives the lineman the hand signal for a simulated fire, the lineman doesn't realize the guy in the back seat is the stud and signals a fire. Randy shuts down and scrambles out and Carlo is laughing his ass off in the back seat. They were good friends so no harm, no foul.
Yup. My onwing gave it to me on shutdown on my 4204. I had knocked that flight out of the park, so it was just a gimme to get me another 5. He kinda gave it away though. He was like "just, so we're CLEAR... SIMULATED fire". I guess he did it the way mentioned in your posts and it was a hassle with students pulling T handles and shite.
Either way, I got another 5.
Exactly why I did it at the end of the flight. The T-handle isn't a big deal, contrary to what NATOPS says. The problem is the canopy. Not a big deal if it's fired, it's just having to wait for the guy to come out, bleed it, and then re-service it.
Unless you do it out on det in Las Cruces, New Mexico. A friend of mine did that and I don't think they had everything along to service it, or they were so backed up on maintenance it took them a day or two to get it flying again.
It was in cruces I did my 4204. My onwing was saying that he had guys pulling T handles and blowing canopies (as Gatordev mentioned) so he didn't want to fvck with me and risk my doing that sh!t. God knows I paid enough damn beer-fines in primary. I think downing a T-34 for canopy servicing would be at least a couple six-packs.
Ah yes . . .
Lineman gives "Fire" signal.
Me: "Sir, lineman's signalling we have a fire; Boldface is done, I'm getting out."
IP: "OK, good job, go ahead and restart."
Me:
IP: "Restart the engine."
Me: "I can't; I pulled the T-handle."
IP: "You did WHAT?"
Me (slowly): "You never told me it was simulated."
IP: <cricket, cricket>
The worst thing I could have pointed out about that instructor at the time was that he liked to try to debrief while my little brain was still wrapped around flying course rules back home. Of course, that was BEFORE he got arrested for . . . umm . . . "propositioning" a fifteen-year-old boy. His ex-on-wings got some interesting tie-cutting jokes made after that.
Of course, that was BEFORE he got arrested for . . . umm . . . "propositioning" a fifteen-year-old boy. His ex-on-wings got some interesting tie-cutting jokes made after that.
Wait, what?? He got arrested for solicitation of a minor WHILE you were in primary?? I guess debriefing in the plane saves time on the ground, so he has more time to go find young boys...