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Relationship Issues!!

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brownshoe

Well-Known Member
Contributor
Reminds me of when my cousin told me how car dealerships really work. You'd never buy a car from one again if you heard half the things they do to you to get money without you even knowing it, lots of it being illegal but not convictable.
Yeah, I know, scary huh? Makes you wanna buy a mule. A lawyer, well they’re educated though, unlike a car salesperson, and can really sock it to you for big bucks!

Steve
 
You guys are making me nervous. I'm married with two little ones and just submitted my application for NFO to the January board. Any aviators here who have maintained a relationship or marriage through deployments? Any advice?

Coming from "the wife":), yes it CAN work!! My husband is prior enlisted so he had plenty of deployments and lived the single life, blah blah blah, before he settled down, got married and had children. He just started the RAG and he has done VERY well. We have two little ones. It goes both ways, it has to be 100% from both ends or it won't work. You are going to hear LOTS of bad stories and I have heard them from both sides, but there are also lots of GOOD stories, if you are doubting it already, then I would be a little concerned:). Good luck!
 

snake020

Contributor
Better yet, stay single until after your first workup and deployment cycle.

Every time this subject comes up, this is the advice that is always given. From what I've read, if you can survive this and both parties still want to get married, chances are you'll have a strong marriage. If she's not willing to wait, believe me there are many many many other fish in the sea, particularly in the Atlantic on the shores of Brasil, but also in the US. Every time I've gotten hung up on a broad that I shouldn't have put time into and thought I'd never find another as good at the time I've proven wrong... and without the expense and headache that MB and a few others have had.

Also, a lot of my collegues rushed into marriage right when they commissioned because (in my not humble opinion) of insecurity. Relax - if it's meant to be, you both can wait it out. Get through OCS, TBS, flight school, and a deployment cycle first.
 

badger16

Well-Known Member
None
Every time this subject comes up, this is the advice that is always given. From what I've read, if you can survive this and both parties still want to get married, chances are you'll have a strong marriage. If she's not willing to wait, believe me there are many many many other fish in the sea, particularly in the Atlantic on the shores of Brasil, but also in the US. Every time I've gotten hung up on a broad that I shouldn't have put time into and thought I'd never find another as good at the time I've proven wrong... and without the expense and headache that MB and a few others have had.

Also, a lot of my collegues rushed into marriage right when they commissioned because (in my not humble opinion) of insecurity. Relax - if it's meant to be, you both can wait it out. Get through OCS, TBS, flight school, and a deployment cycle first.


Well put snake. very well put.
 

Brett327

Well-Known Member
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Coming from "the wife":), yes it CAN work!!

Like I always say, sometimes man bites dog. Sometimes someone jumps off a 10 story building and survives, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

WRT Tombstone, you guys are all missing the point. It's not a question of whether the person in the profile pic is the OP or not. The picture looks exactly like a male cheerleader - that's how I know. :D

Brett
 

The Stinkster

Now who do I blame?
pilot
Coming from "the wife":), yes it CAN work!! My husband is prior enlisted so he had plenty of deployments and lived the single life, blah blah blah, before he settled down, got married and had children. He just started the RAG and he has done VERY well. We have two little ones. It goes both ways, it has to be 100% from both ends or it won't work. You are going to hear LOTS of bad stories and I have heard them from both sides, but there are also lots of GOOD stories, if you are doubting it already, then I would be a little concerned:). Good luck!

Out of Not sure if you set his mind at ease or not.....he was asking about the success through deployment. Your statement would lead one to believe that your hubby had done his deployments prior to your marriage and that you have so far successfully navigated flight school. This would put you in the catagory of not knowing and still waiting to test it out on your first deployment. Just trying to clarify so that the question asker knows if his question has been covered.
 
Out of Not sure if you set his mind at ease or not.....he was asking about the success through deployment. Your statement would lead one to believe that your hubby had done his deployments prior to your marriage and that you have so far successfully navigated flight school. This would put you in the catagory of not knowing and still waiting to test it out on your first deployment. Just trying to clarify so that the question asker knows if his question has been covered.

Yes, we survived an 8 month deployment:) He had 2 others as a bachelor though:)
oh we also had the work ups, etc too!!!:)
 

Rossi

Member
Like I always say, sometimes man bites dog. Sometimes someone jumps off a 10 story building and survives, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

WRT Tombstone, you guys are all missing the point. It's not a question of whether the person in the profile pic is the OP or not. The picture looks exactly like a male cheerleader - that's how I know. :D

Brett

Just saw this thread and was scrolling down to post that. :) Theres no doubt about it.
 

Fred

Registered User
You guys are making me nervous. I'm married with two little ones and just submitted my application for NFO to the January board. Any aviators here who have maintained a relationship or marriage through deployments? Any advice?

I am not an aviator, but have been married to one for 19 years. While it's not been a bed of roses the entire time, we've never considered divorce. The good times have far outweighed the bad. We were married shortly before he was winged. (long before his first deployment) We've gone through six, 6+mo deployments, more dets, work up's, TAD schools, travel, etc., than I can remember, The 1st Gulf War, more than a dozen moves, and have four kids ranging from age 7 to 17. It's very possible for a marriage and family to survive and thrive in the Navy lifestyle. Communication and the willingness on the part of both people to make it work are key. I know many on here paint a doom and gloom picture of marriage in the military, but I know far more couples in my husband's aviation community who have been married 15, 20, 25+ years, than I do those who have divorced. While this may be the exception, it shows staying married for the long haul is not an impossibility.
 

pilotpete24

New Member
Thanks for the responses! I never had any serious doubts about staying married, I just knew that there were going to be hurdles to overcome and wasn't sure how to overcome them. Thanks for the info - it sounds like there are many of you who have made it who are willing to offer advise to younger, less experienced like Tombstone and myself.
 
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