NSFW- Southwest pilot with stuck mic

[ryan1234]

Haha, you're definitely not the only one. Looking online, you know if you see a bulk of 5 seats that are not available, it's definitely some family with screaming toddlers. However, the lone seat taken in 11A could most definitely be some talent on a business trip. Could also be an old, fat dude eating cheetos telling you about his new computer he just bought. I haven't flown SW enough to game their boarding system, so I usually am always stuck in a middle seat choosing between the least fattest duo in a row.

Haven't flown SWA in a while... but here's the strategy: Avoid boarding with the "A" group. Generally people in the A group spread out taking all of the emergency rows aisle and window. Remember that small children and families can board with the A group or before. Middle of the B group generally gives enough overhead baggage space, with the option of sitting next to a relatively hot chick traveling alone without looking like a creeper, because the plane is almost half full anyway. If there are no hot chicks, it generally gives you the option of doing some recon as to where the nursery is and sitting on the opposite end of the plane.

Here's why I don't go with boarding group A... 'cause if you get an emergency row, more than likely there will be a fat wildebeest who can't fit in any of the other rows and "needs" to sit next to you.... that's when you realize that the seat next to you has the super-double seat-belt extensions (always watch for those!). If you don't choose an emergency row, chances are no one will sit right next to you until the C group comes in. Then only a fatty or someone who talks extra loud and extra long will sit next to you and start up a pointless conversation about sudoku or something.

 

[squeeze]

Aah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit -- back before every Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.

 

[pourts]

After the rant, it sounds like they say "Talon 28 switch (blah-blah)." Sounds like someone from VT-7 on an XC got to hear that first hand.

So how did they find out who the pilot was? Did Southwest pull the tapes from every flight that flew through that airspace? Did he break some kind of a law or Southwest Airlines code of conduct?

 

[Flying Toaster]

Looks like he's been reinstated and the the punishment was diversity training.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/06/23/southwest-suspended-pilot-after-radio-rant/

Haven't flown SWA in a while... but here's the strategy: Avoid boarding with the "A" group. Generally people in the A group spread out taking all of the emergency rows aisle and window. Remember that small children and families can board with the A group or before. Middle of the B group generally gives enough overhead baggage space, with the option of sitting next to a relatively hot chick traveling alone without looking like a creeper, because the plane is almost half full anyway. If there are no hot chicks, it generally gives you the option of doing some recon as to where the nursery is and sitting on the opposite end of the plane.

Here's why I don't go with boarding group A... 'cause if you get an emergency row, more than likely there will be a fat wildebeest who can't fit in any of the other rows and "needs" to sit next to you.... that's when you realize that the seat next to you has the super-double seat-belt extensions (always watch for those!). If you don't choose an emergency row, chances are no one will sit right next to you until the C group comes in. Then only a fatty or someone who talks extra loud and extra long will sit next to you and start up a pointless conversation about sudoku or something.

Of course to execute this strategy you need to get an early boarding number so you can chose when you board (boarding during B with a C pass is generally frowned upon vs. boarding during B with an A pass which is considered being late). The self check-in opens 24 hours early and it may be my imagination, but it seems the earlier you check in the lower the number you get.

 

[CUPike11]

Haven't flown SWA in a while... but here's the strategy: Avoid boarding with the "A" group. Generally people in the A group spread out taking all of the emergency rows aisle and window. Remember that small children and families can board with the A group or before. Middle of the B group generally gives enough overhead baggage space, with the option of sitting next to a relatively hot chick traveling alone without looking like a creeper, because the plane is almost half full anyway. If there are no hot chicks, it generally gives you the option of doing some recon as to where the nursery is and sitting on the opposite end of the plane.

Here's why I don't go with boarding group A... 'cause if you get an emergency row, more than likely there will be a fat wildebeest who can't fit in any of the other rows and "needs" to sit next to you.... that's when you realize that the seat next to you has the super-double seat-belt extensions (always watch for those!). If you don't choose an emergency row, chances are no one will sit right next to you until the C group comes in. Then only a fatty or someone who talks extra loud and extra long will sit next to you and start up a pointless conversation about sudoku or something.

WHOA... First of all there sir, I dont qualify myself as a fat wildebeast haha. I board with the 'A' group when I fly SWA, but thats because I DO want the E-row because I'm 6'5 (as you know since you met me) and everytime I get on, some little frail asian woman or 4'5 something girl takes the exit row and I'm stuck behind Slobberus Maximus who hasn't showered in 10 days and needs to recline ALL the way back which then means my knees are in his back and I'm pissed off and uncomfortable...oh and I wear a size 16 so my feet protrude into the aisle and my feet get ran over by the bev cart everytime.

Because lets be completely honest, we all want the 4'5 little sorority girl who can barely lift her tray table to save us in case of an emergency. Not the 6'5 giant....

So lets not just lump everyone in the 'A' group as being the people who are fat, smelly, have 10 family members, or are the loud talkers. No, i'm just ridiculously tall guy who wants some extra leg room, so I can also enjoy my flight and not feel like i'm supporting the weight of the aircraft on my knees.

 

[ea6bflyr]

I don't watch CNN, but this piece from Anderson Cooper is pretty funny:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2011/06/22/exp.ac.ridiculist.southwest.rant.cnn?hpt=hp_mid

 

[SynixMan]

The guy talking during most of it is true and funny. The guy who deserves a slap is the guy after him who say "You wonder why airline pilots have a bad reputation". I bet he's a blast to hang out with when his balls aren't in a jar at home.

 

[CommodoreMid]

Haven't flown SWA in a while... but here's the strategy: Avoid boarding with the "A" group. Generally people in the A group spread out taking all of the emergency rows aisle and window. Remember that small children and families can board with the A group or before. Middle of the B group generally gives enough overhead baggage space, with the option of sitting next to a relatively hot chick traveling alone without looking like a creeper, because the plane is almost half full anyway. If there are no hot chicks, it generally gives you the option of doing some recon as to where the nursery is and sitting on the opposite end of the plane.

Here's why I don't go with boarding group A... 'cause if you get an emergency row, more than likely there will be a fat wildebeest who can't fit in any of the other rows and "needs" to sit next to you.... that's when you realize that the seat next to you has the super-double seat-belt extensions (always watch for those!). If you don't choose an emergency row, chances are no one will sit right next to you until the C group comes in. Then only a fatty or someone who talks extra loud and extra long will sit next to you and start up a pointless conversation about sudoku or something.

I thought you legally couldn't sit in the emergency row if you had to use a seat belt extender?

I'm an A group fan myself since I like the emergency row. Also gives you time to make sure the armrest is down. There is nothing worse than being stuck in C group and having to take the middle seat between two fat people who leave the armrests up for their "comfort," meanwhile their rolls impede on your space for the entire flight.

 

[Schnugg]

Stuck mic: Those that have, and those that will.

I have had. But thankfully not like this.

 

[nittany03]

Stuck mic: Those that have, and those that will.

I have had. But thankfully not like this.

What was the quote from the instrument FTI in Primary about stuck mics? Ah, yes. "Avoid revealing your innermost thoughts at this time."

EPIC FAIL.

 

[HAL Pilot]

There is nothing worse than being stuck in C group and having to take the middle seat between two fat people who leave the armrests up for their "comfort," meanwhile their rolls impede on your space for the entire flight.

Just reach out and put them down. If they say anything, call a FA. It's your seat, not theirs. Just be assertive.

 

[BACONATOR]

Just reach out and put them down. If they say anything, call a FA. It's your seat, not theirs. Just be assertive.

If they give you any guff, just use the JO Mantra (deny, deny, counter-accuse), tell them it's YOUR seat, you want the arm-rests down AND could they politely pull their fat fucking rolls out of your personal space?

 

[BigIron]

Stuck mic: Those that have, and those that will.

I have had. But thankfully not like this.

I've actually had this on the deck during an FCF. No side-tone so I couldn't hear that I was broadcasting what I thought was my ICS rant (damn stuck foot pedal switch). I didn't target any socio-political groups other than the "lazy dumb M-F*ckers" working the flight line that day. Hey, it was hot and I was pissed as they were just standing around looking like deer in the headlights. A messenger was sent out to our bird to let us know we had a stuck mic. I'm not sure what else I said, but the skipper wanted to see me later to make sure I wasn't an overstressed aviator or something - he had a base station in his office and was listening to the rant.

Needless to say, I was the Golden-Mic award winner for that quarter. The next quarter I won the Magellan award for my shit-hot navigation skills.

 

[FrankTheTank]

Doesn't the prowler have some wierd thing that makes it go Hot Mic/Stuck Mic all the time. I just remember listening to those dude's conversations all the time on work-ups/cruise. Granted it was on UHF so not like anybody even listens to that... :icon_wink

 

[Moc1Sig]

enough overhead baggage space, with the option of sitting next to a relatively hot chick traveling alone without looking like a creeper, because the plane is almost half full anyway. If there are no hot chicks, it generally gives you the option of doing some recon .

Using this plan next time, that I end up stuck with a SW flight, touche.

I'm 6'2" so not going to say I fully feel the 6'5 pain, but I have been literally pushed against the window by fat, with the guy just saying "just relax its not a big deal..." if it wasn't to make it to a funeral, i would have prob taken a later flight. And, I am perfectly ok with having to ice my knees to sit by the sorority girl that's flying home to see her boyfriend who she's about to break up with (exageration, but anyways). I like the ^^^ above planned effort. NOw back to making my first million to just fly first everywhere or in my 727 hope trump doesnt mis it.

edit: gammer.... and I just didn't fix it. Time for a haircut/work.