actually cate, i do know.
and i know what it's like to not be able to make ends meet; and i know what it's like to miss the love of your life, not hear from them, and not know where they are, much less how they are; i know what it's like to be alone, for much longer than 6 months at a time; i know what it's like to single-handedly hold an entire family together; and i sat with my best friend's wife, once, every night for the 6 months he was gone, but here's the thing:
there are so many military wives that go out and just plain feel sorry for themselves, and b!tch about the lives that they have. when your husband, (the general 'you'), since we're talking about wives here, is gone, only YOU can make the most of your life. it's relative, and it's what you make of it.
my aunt lived alone, in tehran, with a young child, for several years-- in an extremely turbulent time-- somehow, i think that was harder than trying to find a job, and 'wasting' an advanced degree. in fact, my cousin and his wife actually divorced because she wanted to join the military, and he didn't want the lifestyle. my other cousin, however, is in, and is having a great time. i'm sure she'll be on this site soon, since she'll be headed to flight school. the point is-- it's a choice you make, and a sacrifice you make for being with the person you love-- who clearly can't make those kind of sacrifices on their end. and again, it's all relative, but do i feel bad for military wives? no. and neither does my military family. does that mean that think it's an easy life? no.
in fact, i know it's not. but there are much worse things. and it's much harder, financiall speaking, being the wife of an enlisted man, or a deployed reservist, than an officer. that's just how the breaks are.
take diplomats and their families, for example:
they constantly go to places where military spouses and families are not allowed, and if you'll recall the church bombing in afghanistan, that's a pretty good argument for not letting families go. but they do: korea, everywhere in the middle east, except iraq at the moment, indonesia... but just because they get to go, doesn't mean that life is easier for them than it is for military wives.
there was a diplomat, in a foreign country, who had to assist in performing an emergency, life-threatening surgery on her infant, working with a doctor whose languge she was barely familiar with, much less medically familiar with-- on her kitchen table-- but no one knows that story, because she did what she had to do, and that was that.
a wife of a diplomat i know told me about how she was evacuated from indonesia three times in one year, and her husband had to stay behind. she didn't go to america-- she went to the nearest allied country that would offer her emergency diplomatic immunity. she was telling the story, but she did it because i asked-- not because her life was hard. you never hear about all of those family members either, and how hard it is to repeatedly evacuate your family, (in addition to the normal 4--6 year routine), and immediately travel to a completely foreign country, leaving literally everything behind, for an unknown period of time. i've never gotten a chain email about them....
i'd like to agree with you that military spouses have the toughest job in the world, but i can't. i've seen the military-- too many times in some cases-- help people, but in doing so, doesn't make them any more capable of doing things on their own. for all the 'we have to do it all' that people hear, no one ever mentions that the incredible support system that the military provides, not to mention the support you get from your co, xo, etc. the list of things you made-- everyone has to do those things, regardless of their occupation. it's called life. and if you'll note the very beginning of my post, i did mention the emotional stress of being deployed-- aside.
if the majority of military wives were as independent and capable as you're claiming, the military wouldn't need to offer to teach them how to balance their checkbooks. that shouldn't be a military problem, but unfortunately, it is. i know many, many wives who don't have to work-- and equal numbers of them are lazy as are not. i also know many who do have to work, but you know, they never complain about it. i'm not saying that it's not hard, but when people aren't willing to help themselves, no one else wants to help you either-- so maybe you should take your 'shut ups' to the whiney, lazy wives, who perpetuate the knives club and the westpac widows.
if you want to attack me personally, i'll pm you my phone number. if you want to talk to someone else about me, talk to psg1016-- she knows me personally.
and i know what it's like to not be able to make ends meet; and i know what it's like to miss the love of your life, not hear from them, and not know where they are, much less how they are; i know what it's like to be alone, for much longer than 6 months at a time; i know what it's like to single-handedly hold an entire family together; and i sat with my best friend's wife, once, every night for the 6 months he was gone, but here's the thing:
there are so many military wives that go out and just plain feel sorry for themselves, and b!tch about the lives that they have. when your husband, (the general 'you'), since we're talking about wives here, is gone, only YOU can make the most of your life. it's relative, and it's what you make of it.
my aunt lived alone, in tehran, with a young child, for several years-- in an extremely turbulent time-- somehow, i think that was harder than trying to find a job, and 'wasting' an advanced degree. in fact, my cousin and his wife actually divorced because she wanted to join the military, and he didn't want the lifestyle. my other cousin, however, is in, and is having a great time. i'm sure she'll be on this site soon, since she'll be headed to flight school. the point is-- it's a choice you make, and a sacrifice you make for being with the person you love-- who clearly can't make those kind of sacrifices on their end. and again, it's all relative, but do i feel bad for military wives? no. and neither does my military family. does that mean that think it's an easy life? no.
in fact, i know it's not. but there are much worse things. and it's much harder, financiall speaking, being the wife of an enlisted man, or a deployed reservist, than an officer. that's just how the breaks are.
take diplomats and their families, for example:
they constantly go to places where military spouses and families are not allowed, and if you'll recall the church bombing in afghanistan, that's a pretty good argument for not letting families go. but they do: korea, everywhere in the middle east, except iraq at the moment, indonesia... but just because they get to go, doesn't mean that life is easier for them than it is for military wives.
there was a diplomat, in a foreign country, who had to assist in performing an emergency, life-threatening surgery on her infant, working with a doctor whose languge she was barely familiar with, much less medically familiar with-- on her kitchen table-- but no one knows that story, because she did what she had to do, and that was that.
a wife of a diplomat i know told me about how she was evacuated from indonesia three times in one year, and her husband had to stay behind. she didn't go to america-- she went to the nearest allied country that would offer her emergency diplomatic immunity. she was telling the story, but she did it because i asked-- not because her life was hard. you never hear about all of those family members either, and how hard it is to repeatedly evacuate your family, (in addition to the normal 4--6 year routine), and immediately travel to a completely foreign country, leaving literally everything behind, for an unknown period of time. i've never gotten a chain email about them....
i'd like to agree with you that military spouses have the toughest job in the world, but i can't. i've seen the military-- too many times in some cases-- help people, but in doing so, doesn't make them any more capable of doing things on their own. for all the 'we have to do it all' that people hear, no one ever mentions that the incredible support system that the military provides, not to mention the support you get from your co, xo, etc. the list of things you made-- everyone has to do those things, regardless of their occupation. it's called life. and if you'll note the very beginning of my post, i did mention the emotional stress of being deployed-- aside.
if the majority of military wives were as independent and capable as you're claiming, the military wouldn't need to offer to teach them how to balance their checkbooks. that shouldn't be a military problem, but unfortunately, it is. i know many, many wives who don't have to work-- and equal numbers of them are lazy as are not. i also know many who do have to work, but you know, they never complain about it. i'm not saying that it's not hard, but when people aren't willing to help themselves, no one else wants to help you either-- so maybe you should take your 'shut ups' to the whiney, lazy wives, who perpetuate the knives club and the westpac widows.
if you want to attack me personally, i'll pm you my phone number. if you want to talk to someone else about me, talk to psg1016-- she knows me personally.
). and there were days when i would wake up and just cry and cry (no pms interference, either). and there were days when i would do all the things i needed to do, but i sure whined about it.