GF...keep her or send her home?

[Road Program]

My girlfriend is staying with me this summer since she lives in another state. She's been here for four days and is driving me nuts. "Give me attention/affection/a hug/a kiss (insert your own time-sapping event here), etc." All I want to do is study. I gooned up my first flight after she got here, but I was able to salvage it with some amazing flying today (if I may say so myself). Now it's midnight and I'm awake because she started crying in bed about "us." I just needed to push that out of my mind so I gave the NATOPS a good once-over and skimmed through maneuver procedures, but it's obviously still on my mind.

Now the question is do I keep her around and try to work on having someone living with me who has no clue about what I really need to do and the pressure we're all under? Or do I politely ask her to get the hell out of town?

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong forum, but it's late, I'm tired, and I'm in Primary right now so it seemed to fit right in my brain. Now I need to try to get some :sleep_125

 

[skidkid]

Not to sound cold but this is a no brainer. Send her home immediately. You have one shot at wings, there are lots of girls in the world. If she cant understand and support you send her home and see waht happens when youa re done.
I saw many guys struggle becasue of wives or girlfriends who didnt understand the deal and in some ways seemed to sabotage it.
Mine just broke it off the night before my first flight (yeah that went well) but int the long run thank god she did. I was spending hours on the phone so she could talk about her feelings.
Good luck

 

[DairyCreamer]

My girlfriend is staying with me this summer since she lives in another state. She's been here for four days and is driving me nuts. "Give me attention/affection/a hug/a kiss (insert your own time-sapping event here), etc." All I want to do is study. I gooned up my first flight after she got here, but I was able to salvage it with some amazing flying today (if I may say so myself). Now it's midnight and I'm awake because she started crying in bed about "us." I just needed to push that out of my mind so I gave the NATOPS a good once-over and skimmed through maneuver procedures, but it's obviously still on my mind.

Now the question is do I keep her around and try to work on having someone living with me who has no clue about what I really need to do and the pressure we're all under? Or do I politely ask her to get the hell out of town?

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong forum, but it's late, I'm tired, and I'm in Primary right now so it seemed to fit right in my brain. Now I need to try to get some :sleep_125

Sounds to me like you've got a dead weight dragging you down hard. Try and talk to her, but if she doesn't get it now, she never will. That, and your wings are on the line here too... better to cut losses early.

That said, everyone has their own priorities. Depends on what you want more... make her happy, or complete flight training. Seems like it might be a little difficult to do both the way you describe her actions.

~Nate

 

[airgreg]

Suggest not posting on Airwarriors and use that 10 minutes to do something for/with her. Time management is the key in Primary. People with kids make it through.

Of course, if she's a complete mental case, just take her to Farah's or Seville, give her a pack of cigarettes, and someone will scoop her up in about 30 seconds.

 

[Elder]

Do you have the CD/Video from Fleet Family Services?

If not, PM me your email address... I have the video here. She should watch it.

 

[bch]

Get rid of her. I was in the same situation going through API and primary.... The longer I waited, the harder it got to free myself from her evil clutches!

It may be hard, but if things are bad now with her and the military's schedule... it is only going to get worse.

Oh yeah, glad to see the Michael W still makes worthless posts that in no way help out the person asking the question.

 

[The Chief]

uuuurmmppphhh ... (clears throat) Now what was the question???

 

[Tulman737]

It sucks, but you got to send her packing. Like everyone else said, this is your one shot at wings, and if things are bad now then they are only going to get worse.

Even if you were not trying to get your wings I would still break up with her. It sounds like she is one of those needy, clingy girls, that would probally get jealous easily( just my inital opinion) and is going to cause you a lot of headaches.

 

[Schnugg]

Send here packing immediately, for your own good. Do the long distance relationship. If she calls and you're busy, let the answering machine get it. Put 110% into flight school, or you'll be selling insurance for the rest of your life...

If there is something there, it will last and she'll be waiting for you after winging...or after the FRS. Likewise, if it is a weak relationship, the distance will take care of it in time.

Cheers,
G

 

[gaijin6423]

Sounds like you need to find yourself a girl who knows what stress really is. For example: My girlfriend is doing her residency in FL right now, so she's pretty busy. Fine by me, because I'm in RIs. We've got a mutual understanding here. Hell, the last time she came to see me, I was getting ready for my checkride, and I couldn't afford to spend much time NOT studying. She was totally cool with that, and even provided incentive for me to study. (No study = No sex) The whole time she was here, my onwing kept asking me what I was doing to improve my flying. HA! If he only knew...

I'm guessing that this girl just doesn't grasp the complexity/intensity of the SNA life. If there's something there, explain just what the deal is, then put her on a plane back where she came from. If it works, then cool. If you two still can't find mutual ground or a compromise... Well, some things just weren't meant to be.

 

[Kathy]

I'm answering from the other side of the fence as these guys, but I don't think you've given us enough information to be able to make these judgments.

Have you talked to her and explained how the whole flight training process works? Does she understand that how well you do over these next few months determines the rest of your career? Have you explained how competitive it is? How serious is the relationship? Is this her first time away from home?

What is she doing during the day while you're studying/training? If she's just sitting in your apartment with nothing to do, she's probably going crazy. Her entire existence down there probably revolves around you at this point. Suggest she go get a summer job in town or that she take a fun class at a local community college. Suggest she join this site (delete this post first please) and meet up with some of the ladies in your area. Suggest she take up a hobby for the summer to keep her busy (scrapbooking, reading, whatever). Create a weekly "tradition" where you take her to dinner every Saturday night and give her an hour or two of your undivided attention. Get her involved by having her quiz you on EPs.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[skidkid]

Concur with most. Regardless is you think you have a future with this chick, she MUST GO ASAP! Flight school is hard enough without getting emotionally involved with someone. Women are dream killers. It is subconsciously in their nature to sabotage any hopes their man has at success and advancement for fear that he will upgrade when he had achieved his dream. To be blunt, Pensacola is full of women to use and abuse. Why would you want to have a distracting GF around?

Brett

Some serious bitterness there Brett. The right path is probably somewhere between Brett and Kathy. The bottom line is you need to address this soon. Each day is detracting from your chances of success.

 

[Pcola04/30]

I second the get her involved part of previous post. Helps her to understand the amount of sh!t you have to learn. I would also recommend taking her to the squadron and showing her around. (maybe sat afternoon when the place is a ghost town....flight line badge can work twice in a row....use your own judgement)

Take into account who you are taking advice from.....of course most people on this site are going to say 'Give that B!atch the boot' alot of people on this site are making progress towards those coveted wings of gold or have already got'em. You gotta trust your gut instinct.

No woman is perfect..... no relationship is perfect.....A good relationship and a good career require hard work and sacrifices. Only you know if both can be juggled successfully. Dont think you have to be single and not in a relationship in order to do well in flight training. Many people before you and many people after you will juggle both successfully

 

[jace]

... No woman is perfect ...

You, my friend, have obviously been playing in the wrong play pens!

 

[Pcola04/30]

wrong play pens!

And a nice hearty welcome to AW newest pedophile... :icon_mi_1