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cut the strings or don't apply

Cougar_62

Just another frustrated observer.
You guys may jump all over me for this, but I'm an old Dad and can take it. I'd be one of those Helicopter Parents you guys talk about if my daughter would let me. Fortunately, she's smarter than the old man and pretty much ignores me and does her own thing.

I read and post at the two forums that were mentioned, and I've gotten pretty good advice for my daughter from mids, parents and active duty and retired. I pass this on to my daughter and she doesn't have to go to the site herself.The sites definitely are dominated by parents, but if you filter through sometimes you can find good info. Plus, it makes me feel closer to the whole process since I can only stand by and watch, since my daughter is definitely doing it all herself.

From a parents point of view, the first BGO interview was at our home. (My daughter is trying a second time this year after going to a civilian prep school and now attending college.) My daughter had been in touch with the BGO responsible for the State for years since she met him at an Academy Day presentation and he took an active interest in her. The local BGO told her he had already heard some things about her from the State guy when he came for the interview.

My daughter threatened me with all kinds of dire consequences if I stayed around for the interview so I was prepared to leave. The BGO specifically asked me to stay and we all sat around the kitchen table. He asked me several questions, probably like was stated before trying to figure out if I was pushing my daughter into this. When he got down to asking her specific questions I excused myself.

My wife was a very involved parent when the kids were younger, but she's pretty much separated herself from this whole process.

I worry that my daughter is putting in all this hard work and trying to get into the Academy to please me. I never served in the military but have shown my children how much I believe in our military. About the umpteenth time I expressed this fear to my daughter she said, "Shut up Dad, I'm doing this for me not you!"

Hope she's right.
 

robav8r

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
My daughter threatened me with all kinds of dire consequences if I stayed around for the interview so I was prepared to leave. The BGO specifically asked me to stay and we all sat around the kitchen table. He asked me several questions, probably like was stated before trying to figure out if I was pushing my daughter into this. When he got down to asking her specific questions I excused myself.

Sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter and while painful, know what to do when it's in her best interest. Many parents would not leave or excuse themselves - that's the difference.
 

DukeX6

New Member
I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that not all parents behave in this way. My parents are fully aware that I will be entering the Navy after college, ROTC if you care about specifics. The most they have given me is a "That's nice" attitude followed by a "just make sure you keep working hard in school" guideline. I am unsure if they are acting this way because they think this is just a phase and I will not go through with it. (Though I would hardly refer to being obsessed about something for five years as a "phase.") The other explanation is that they trust me and are confident that I will do my best and stay focused.

I really hope it's the second one.
 

WishICouldFly

UO Future Pork Chop
My recruiter for the BDCP called my parents' house once because my cell number had changed. My mom wasn't clear who he was when he identified himself, and he thought I hadn't told her about joining. I guess they cleared it up afterwards, because my mom DID know of my joining, but later that day, he told me something along the lines of "If I had found out that you hadn't told your family about joining, I woulda knocked you upside the head, 'cause respecting your family is number one in my book."
 

WishICouldFly

UO Future Pork Chop
Sounds like you've got a pretty good recruiter.

Yeah, he is a straight shooter, no BS, and honest to boot. He told me the first time I talked to him that if I wasn't sure about joining, he didn't want to work with me.
I thought...well crap, it's the first time a service hasn't begged me to join, that's the service I want to be in. I'd better work for it. Haha...
 

wink

War Hoover NFO.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
SITREP 1.1The aforementioned candidate that caused me to go on the rant that spawned this thread has decided to withdraw his application. I know, because his Mommy told me. All is well that ends well.
 

phrogpilot73

Well-Known Member
SITREP 1.1The aformentioned candidate that caused me to go on the rant that spawned this thread has decied to withdraw his application. I know, because his Mommy told me. All is well that ends well.
Do you think he read this thread? No, he probably didn't. His Mom read it to him.
 

wink

War Hoover NFO.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Actually, I was wondering if Mommy saw the serviceacadmeyforums thread that referenced our discussion here. Another AW success story.
 

DanMa1156

Is it baseball season yet?
pilot
Contributor
Actually, I was wondering if Mommy saw the serviceacadmeyforums thread that referenced our discussion here. Another AW success story.

UNSOLVED MYSTERIES UPDATE...


440.jpg



Don't know why... but made me think of this. Glad to hear he withdrew. Did mom find a way to buy into another school?
 

wink

War Hoover NFO.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Sitrep 1.2 I responded to Mom's email notifying me of her son dropping out with a sarcastic reply about really wishing I would have heard from the candidate himself and I expected the candidate and not his mother to send in the withdrawal notification to USNA. So what do I get...an email from Mom, of course. And is she pissed about my sarcasm, no. It went right over her head and instead she expressed confusion over why it was her son didn't follow through since, "he had all the support he needed', "All the family supported him", "we did everything we could to help." Me thinks it wasn't just my sarcasm she didn't comprehend.
 

DSL1990

VMI Cadet 4/c, MIDN 4/c
Sitrep 1.2 I responded to Mom's email notifying me of her son dropping out with a sarcastic reply about really wishing I would have heard from the candidate himself and I expected the candidate and not his mother to send in the withdrawal notification to USNA. So what do it get...an email from Mom, of course. And is she pissed about my sarcasm, no. It went right over her head and instead she expressed confusion over why it was her son didn't follow through since, "he had all the support he needed', "All the family supported him", "we did everything we could to help." Me thinks it wasn't just my sarcasm she didn't comprehend.

nah- then it doesn't seem like she read the thread over on serviceacademyforums.com! :icon_lol:
 
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