Your wife is a civilian and as such, can live where ever she wants. That said, if this is a personal choice you make (as opposed to unaccompanied orders or some official reason she can't join you), you are going to foot the bill for that choice. Consider 2 rents, 2 cable bills, two Everythings. The Navy isn't going to pay for or provide two households when you could be sharing one and are deciding not to. Look at it this way: they are committed to providing a home (or money for a home) in which your family can live. They are doing that. One time. If you decide you require two homes because for whatever reason the one they are providing (via Corpus BAH) isn't sufficient, the second one is on you.
Is 6 months more really going to establish her in her career? Will it really make that much of a difference, or is this more about the appearance of things and the guilt you feel about another move?
When you say, "it's not a money thing", I am guessing that means that you are okay if the net of all this is that you end up with less money than if she left the job and you only paid for one house. If it isn't "a money thing", consider whether it is "a marriage thing". You will likely never in your Navy career be home and have as much time to be with your wife as you will during advanced and the FRS. And if kids are in your future, that's likely going to enter the picture soon-ish, making this time you have with just the two of you exceptionally precious. I'd think long and hard before squandering that time. And I say that as someone whose once decent career is utterly and completely dead, and who mourns that loss tremendously. I know it's not an easy thing or a cavalier decision to just toss aside one's career. It's fucking *hard*. Absolutely. But I'd make the same choices again and again, sacrificing my earning potential and the pride I have [or, had] in being a self-supporting (in theory) human, in order for my partnership with Husband to thrive. When our third consecutive overseas orders came, I considered for a minute not going. It was probably my last chance to resurrect some of the career I once had, when it would have been a 6 year resume gap instead of 9. But that's not really what Husband or I signed up for when we got married. Partnership first, as far as I'm concerned.
If *she's* dead set on this course of action, trying too hard to talk her out of it is probably a dumb move. But you mention your own guilt, not her complaints, and not wanting to ask this of her, which suggests maybe this is coming mostly or at least partly from you. It seems like you are forgetting to weigh the affects on the marriage, and what that is asking of her (and of you) and only looking at the affects on her career.
