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Battle of the Branches
- Thread starter navybackseater
- Start date
You got that all wrong.
Its 1 to screw in the light bulb. 1 to yell, "Give him one." And 98 to simultaniously yell, "Kill."
Reminds me of this one..."How many CH-46E pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"27. 1 to change the bulb, and 26 to talk about how great the old bulb was."
SemperFlyMarine
The CRF's Worst Nightmare
Same tree, different branch:
Let's explore acronyms!
e.g.
ARMY=Aren't Real Marines Yet
MARINE=My A$$ Rides In Navy Equipment
Let's explore acronyms!
e.g.
ARMY=Aren't Real Marines Yet
MARINE=My A$$ Rides In Navy Equipment
phrogpilot73
Well-Known Member
Actually, it's 28 - that's how many is in a T/O squadron...
MARINE=Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
NAVY= Never again volunteer yourself
I’m gonna tell this one to a close friend down the street who was a marine and served in Vietnam. If you don’t hear from me again… you’ll know what happened… We got married and are on our honeymoon.
(Yeah right.)Where did you find this joke? It's funny
Steve
That joke is universal; just substitute different hats. I first heard it with the parts reversed. Although really, both sides lose. I mean one service may suck dick, but the other one is soliciting a BJ from a small boy. Who's really coming out on top there?
ARMY actually stands for Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet.
USMC. The first four letters in "MUSCle"; none of the letters in "brain."
USMC also stands for U Signed the Motherfucking Contract.
Another joke, again on or about the Corps.
A hard-charging NCO dies in battle. He hasn't lived a virtuous life, so St. Peter sends him straight to hell. He's bummed out, so he's sent to one of hell's counselors.
The counselor tells him, "Hell's really not that bad. You like drinking?"
The NCO says,"I'm a Marine, of course I like drinking!"
"Well, on Mondays, after we get done in the lake of fire, it's all-you-can-drink night. Johnny Walker Blue Label, the best brews, the finest wines, whatever you want. ANd we can all drive back drunk...'cause we're already dead! Say...you like smoking?"
The Marine says,"I loved a good cigar."
"Well, Tuesday nights, the smoking lamp is lighted, and we break out the best Cubans. And who cares about cancer...we're dead! You like gambling?"
"Damn straight. I went to Vegas every time I went to CAX."
"Wednesdays we have gambling night. Texas hold-em, Blackjack, everything. And if you go broke, what'll they do to ya...send you to hell? How about fighting?"
The Marine says,"I loved a good brawl when I was in the Corps."
"Thursdays it's like UFC around here. Bare-knuckle boxing, wrestling, whatever. And if you get hurt--who cares? You're dead"
"Sounds great," said the Marine.
"Say...are you gay, by chance"
"Of course not," said the Marine,"I'm a US Marine, for crissakes."
"Well, you're not gonna like Fridays..."
ARMY actually stands for Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet.
USMC. The first four letters in "MUSCle"; none of the letters in "brain."
USMC also stands for U Signed the Motherfucking Contract.
Another joke, again on or about the Corps.
A hard-charging NCO dies in battle. He hasn't lived a virtuous life, so St. Peter sends him straight to hell. He's bummed out, so he's sent to one of hell's counselors.
The counselor tells him, "Hell's really not that bad. You like drinking?"
The NCO says,"I'm a Marine, of course I like drinking!"
"Well, on Mondays, after we get done in the lake of fire, it's all-you-can-drink night. Johnny Walker Blue Label, the best brews, the finest wines, whatever you want. ANd we can all drive back drunk...'cause we're already dead! Say...you like smoking?"
The Marine says,"I loved a good cigar."
"Well, Tuesday nights, the smoking lamp is lighted, and we break out the best Cubans. And who cares about cancer...we're dead! You like gambling?"
"Damn straight. I went to Vegas every time I went to CAX."
"Wednesdays we have gambling night. Texas hold-em, Blackjack, everything. And if you go broke, what'll they do to ya...send you to hell? How about fighting?"
The Marine says,"I loved a good brawl when I was in the Corps."
"Thursdays it's like UFC around here. Bare-knuckle boxing, wrestling, whatever. And if you get hurt--who cares? You're dead"
"Sounds great," said the Marine.
"Say...are you gay, by chance"
"Of course not," said the Marine,"I'm a US Marine, for crissakes."
"Well, you're not gonna like Fridays..."
HJ, an old boss of mine told me about a ship that had some of Prof. Lowe's balloons on board to do some recon work (in No. Carolina) during the War of Northern Aggression. I think his point was that it would be considered the first "aircraft carrier"...I may have to do some research to back up his claim.It's not that simple and if it were, they'd trace their roots to the Civil War when balloons were first introduced to the Signal Corps bag of tricks thanks to Professor Lowe's pioneering work in that area that resulted in his being appointed as chief of the Army's aeronautical division, under the command of General McClellan. Some Air Force histories talk to the roots you describe, but they all agree the US Air Force was founded as a separate branch with its own service secretary independent of the Army in 1947 as part of Defense Reorganization Act.
Professor Lowe's military balloon "fires up" near Gaines Mill, Virginia during the Civil War
Back to the jokes.
that was a great joke to break out at a mess meeting where most of the DHs and above are old phrog guys. worth every penny.