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Battle of the Branches

phrogdriver

phrogdriver

More humble than you would understand
pilot
Super Moderator
Just 'cause we needed an actual joke...

One member of each service was selected to interview for a spot in an elite CIA paramilitary unit.

They were all waiting in a reception area and were called in one by one for the interview. The USAF STS team leader went in. His wife was sitting, tied to a chair. The interviewer handed him a pistol and told him, "We need unconditional dedication to the mission. Your mission is to shoot your wife in the head." The airman said "I love her too much! You're sick!" and ran crying from the room.

The Navy SEAL went in. His wife was bound, and the CIA interviewer handed him a pistol and told him to shoot his wife. He looked at it for a second, hands shaking, then put it back down on the deck and left.

An Army Delta Force commando went in. He took the pistol, racked the slide, put his finger on the trigger, but then put it down and hugged his wife.

Lasty, the Recon Marine went in. From outside, the receptionist heard "BANG, BANG!" followed by the most horrible screaming and banging around. Some minutes later, the Marine emerged, looking like hell.

"What happened?" said the receptionist.

"Damn gun had blanks in it. I had to strangle the dumb b!tch myself!" said the Marine.

Sick, yes...flame away...
 
m3urthy

m3urthy

Why don't you have a seat right over there.
phrogdriver said:
Just 'cause we needed an actual joke...

One member of each service was selected to interview for a spot in an elite CIA paramilitary unit.

They were all waiting in a reception area and were called in one by one for the interview. The USAF STS team leader went in. His wife was sitting, tied to a chair. The interviewer handed him a pistol and told him, "We need unconditional dedication to the mission. Your mission is to shoot your wife in the head." The airman said "I love her too much! You're sick!" and ran crying from the room.

The Navy SEAL went in. His wife was bound, and the CIA interviewer handed him a pistol and told him to shoot his wife. He looked at it for a second, hands shaking, then put it back down on the deck and left.

An Army Delta Force commando went in. He took the pistol, racked the slide, put his finger on the trigger, but then put it down and hugged his wife.

Lasty, the Recon Marine went in. From outside, the receptionist heard "BANG, BANG!" followed by the most horrible screaming and banging around. Some minutes later, the Marine emerged, looking like hell.

"What happened?" said the receptionist.

"Damn gun had blanks in it. I had to strangle the dumb b!tch myself!" said the Marine.

Sick, yes...flame away...
Click to expand...


I would have shot the interviewer...
 
phrogdriver

phrogdriver

More humble than you would understand
pilot
Super Moderator
m3urthy said:
I would have shot the interviewer...
Click to expand...

Well, actually, you'd have had to strangle him...the gun had blanks in it. Reading comprehension, people!:)

This was a joke, not a problem solving exercise, take it for what you will.

MasterBates would have strangled his wife twice, I think.
 
A

a_m

Still learning how much I don't know.
None
phrogdriver said:
Well, actually, you'd have had to strangle him...the gun had blanks in it. Reading comprehension, people!:)

This was a joke, not a problem solving exercise, take it for what you will.

MasterBates would have strangled his wife twice, I think.
Click to expand...



Nah, he'd need another set of hands just to get around her fat neck.
 
m3urthy

m3urthy

Why don't you have a seat right over there.
phrogdriver said:
Well, actually, you'd have had to strangle him...the gun had blanks in it. Reading comprehension, people!:)

This was a joke, not a problem solving exercise, take it for what you will.

MasterBates would have strangled his wife twice, I think.
Click to expand...


I'm going to stick to my guns (ha! no pun intended) here and still say shoot the interviewer. If its a blank then no harm, no foul.

I think that shooting the interviewer shows initiative. Strangling...I don't know about that. Then again, I'm probably the wrong person to comment about it since I'm joining the Marines to sit in the back of a jet and play with buttons...:)
 
HAL Pilot

HAL Pilot

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
A Marine, a little kid and A Sailor are all taking a piss in a public head. The little kid looks up at the Marine and says "Gee sir, are you really a Marine?"

"I sure am" says the Marine. "Want to wear my hat?" and he puts his cover on the little kids head.

Next the kid looks up at the Sailor..."Gee sir, are you really a Sailor?" asks the kid.

"I sure am" replies the Sailor. "You want to suck my dick?"

"No" the kid answers. "I'm not really a Marine, I'm just wearing ones hat."
 
WVUBetaHornet

WVUBetaHornet

Sweep the leg..
HAL Pilot said:
A Marine, a little kid and A Sailor are all taking a piss in a public head. The little kid looks up at the Marine and says "Gee sir, are you really a Marine?"

"I sure am" says the Marine. "Want to wear my hat?" and he puts his cover on the little kids head.

Next the kid looks up at the Sailor..."Gee sir, are you really a Sailor?" asks the kid.

"I sure am" replies the Sailor. "You want to suck my dick?"

"No" the kid answers. "I'm not really a Marine, I'm just wearing ones hat."
Click to expand...


:smgreen_1:smile_gre
 
J

JDawg2332

Getting some since 1775
HAL Pilot said:
A Marine, a little kid and A Sailor are all taking a piss in a public head. The little kid looks up at the Marine and says "Gee sir, are you really a Marine?"

"I sure am" says the Marine. "Want to wear my hat?" and he puts his cover on the little kids head.

Next the kid looks up at the Sailor..."Gee sir, are you really a Sailor?" asks the kid.

"I sure am" replies the Sailor. "You want to suck my dick?"

"No" the kid answers. "I'm not really a Marine, I'm just wearing ones hat."
Click to expand...

WOW Im at work right now and i just laughed so hard i spit on the computer screen





Proceed with Marine jokes at will
 
HeyJoe

HeyJoe

Fly Navy! ...or USMC
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
subTidal said:
Wrong :icon_hamm. The air force has been around since 1907, when it was called the Aeronautical Division, U.S. Signal Corps. They went through 5 other name changes until 1947, when they changed their name to U.S. Air Force.
Click to expand...

It's not that simple and if it were, they'd trace their roots to the Civil War when balloons were first introduced to the Signal Corps bag of tricks thanks to Professor Lowe's pioneering work in that area that resulted in his being appointed as chief of the Army's aeronautical division, under the command of General McClellan. Some Air Force histories talk to the roots you describe, but they all agree the US Air Force was founded as a separate branch with its own service secretary independent of the Army in 1947 as part of Defense Reorganization Act.

Civil-War-Balloon.jpg


Professor Lowe's military balloon "fires up" near Gaines Mill, Virginia during the Civil War
 
S

SemperFlyMarine

The CRF's Worst Nightmare
A Marine walks into a bar and sits down. He looks to the guy sitting next to him and asks, "You wanna hear a joke about the Army?"

The guy replies, "Look, I'm in the Army, the guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225, and in the Army, and the guy ordering drinks right now is a Green Beret. Now, do you really want to tell that joke?

"No," the Marine replies, "I don't want to have to explain it three times"
 
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