Able to make my wedding during aviation training?

[Mike978]

Next spring, March 26, 2011 I am to be married up in St. Louis. I turn 28 this coming August, so I'll need to be through OCS before then, my recruiter had planned for me to be in within the next month or two. He also tells me there is little chance I would be able to get leave that weekend to get up there for the wedding, which would be a total disaster. Looked into having it down in Pensacola, but the Ms. has too much invested at this point.

So I'm at a crossroads, do I opt for SWO to guarantee I make the wedding and skip my dreams of being able to fly? Or is there any chance that the Navy would be willing to bend to let me home for this, 15 months from now?

Please advise. Wish I had found this board sooner, the recruiter needs my answer by the morning. Thanks!

Mike

 

[MIDNJAC]

Sorry but are you kidding? Can the wedding not wait another few months? No, absolutely don't make a decision on your career path just so that you can keep your wedding date. Yes, I have known folks to get married in the tracom (flight school), but I won't lie when I say that having a big planned ceremony will probably be a hassle for everyone involved. Had a classmate do such a thing, and it was a major ops/scheduling issue. They will push your wedding date if it falls on something like a boat det, or the like. That said, it is doable and far better then doing something you don't want to do just to get married TODAY. Hope that helps!

 

[insanebikerboy]

Take the slot, you'll always look back and say "what if" if you get married over flying. The Navy, more specifically your boss in whatever training squadron your at, will more than likely give you a few days. I have heard of guys getting the day prior and day of the wedding or maybe the day of and day after the wedding during flight school.

Of course, your mileage may vary, but I'd be pretty confident in saying you'll at least get the day of your wedding off, although you may have forgo the honeymoon.

 

[Mike978]

Thanks for the replies, we did plan on having to forgo the honeymoon for the time being. Just trying to at least make it home for this is all.

 

[HeyJoe]

Hello gentlemen,

Next spring, March 26, 2011 I am to be married up in St. Louis. I turn 28 this coming August, so I'll need to be through OCS before then, my recruiter had planned for me to be in within the next month or two. He also tells me there is little chance I would be able to get leave that weekend to get up there for the wedding, which would be a total disaster. Looked into having it down in Pensacola, but the Ms. has too much invested at this point.

Weekends are typically yours to do what you want as long as you go through ORM Kabuki dance. If you let them know well in advance and are a solid citizen, they may even cut you a break on light day on Friday. Remember, it's a factory and they are focused on production. Hint: don't show up Day 1 in the command and start asking about it. Wait until you're established.

So I'm at a crossroads, do I opt for SWO to guarantee I make the wedding and skip my dreams of being able to fly? Or is there any chance that the Navy would be willing to bend to let me home for this, 15 months from now?

Who's to say that path won't cause an issue. You need to think about that move...a lot. Basing your career path on being free for a wedding, maybe? Get real!

PS - there are also ladies on the board, some wear wings.

 

[bunk22]

Do you really want to be an aviator or just a husband? Maybe I`m just in a bad mood, and I am being stuck in Japan and having to spend an extra $1000 on a ticket..M&'&'&&&'))(=%&%'(>>, but this is a retarded question IMO. You either want to fly or not, no excuses for a fucking wedding. BTW, welcome to AirWarriors

 

[navy09]

You're going to switch from pilot to SWO just for that one day? That's retarded.

I mean, it's 14 months away for crying out loud, how invested can you be?

 

[scoolbubba]

Join the navy. Fly in airplanes. Get married. These things are not mutually exclusive....and who the fuck wants to be engaged for a year and a half? You'll have breaks in training; I managed to sneak a wedding AND a honeymoon in between wings and starting the FRS....I only had 3 months off though, so it was a tough squeeze to get those knocked out in between rounds of golf.

 

[desertoasis]

Join the navy. Fly in airplanes. Get married. These things are not mutually exclusive....and who the fuck wants to be engaged for a year and a half? You'll have breaks in training; I managed to sneak a wedding AND a honeymoon in between wings and starting the FRS....I only had 3 months off though, so it was a tough squeeze to get those knocked out in between rounds of golf.

As one who has been engaged for a year and a half, I wouldn't recommend being engaged that long. Just get married. That said, I didn't have a lot of choice, because I proposed two weeks before I moved down to Pensacola. My suggestion is to try to schedule your wedding around one of the big federal holidays (I'm getting married on July 3), because it's a weekend you will most likely get off in the training command anyways. If you tell your Admin people right when you check in that you're getting married, they should be able to work with you.

...trouble is that I'm not in my last training squadron yet, still in VT-10...so we'll see how that pans out. If it turns out I'm very wrong, I'll update.

 

[60flyer]

Next spring, March 26, 2011 I am to be married up in St. Louis. I turn 28 this coming August, so I'll need to be through OCS before then, my recruiter had planned for me to be in within the next month or two. He also tells me there is little chance I would be able to get leave that weekend to get up there for the wedding, which would be a total disaster. Looked into having it down in Pensacola, but the Ms. has too much invested at this point.

So I'm at a crossroads, do I opt for SWO to guarantee I make the wedding and skip my dreams of being able to fly? Or is there any chance that the Navy would be willing to bend to let me home for this, 15 months from now?

Please advise. Wish I had found this board sooner, the recruiter needs my answer by the morning. Thanks!

Mike

Oh please take the flying job. Let me offer this for you to chew over.... The military is a tougher life with marriage and setting priorities. Mainly because in the beginning you have little choice about where you go and what you do. The Navy sends you where you need to go and on their time frame. In flight school it will be GO GO GO for 4-5 months and then you'll have 3 months off while you wait to get into the next phase. Your wife is going to HAVE to understand that. She's going to have to understand that plans can't be 100% for sure because you never quite know when you'll be around. And she's going to have to roll with the punches of moving all the time and her career suffering (possibly). The next few years while your in flight school are going to be a LOT about you....and little about her. Not fair, I know. But that's how it goes.

I'm sure you've talked to her about a lot of this stuff....but just make SURE your both 100% on the same page and she's not thinking something else.

Like people on here have said, you should be able to take leave. I was able to push my start date for primary back a week (just switched with someone) to stand up in my sister's wedding. They didn't care. It's definitely work-able. Don't ever give up on your dream job for something as fixable as a date. Think about which one you'll regret more. And if nothing else, you suck up the cost of stuff that's been prepaid for the wedding and you decide to do a small ceremony now and maybe a larger one later on. It's NEVER too late to change...

 

[Scruff]

The girl sucks if she opposes you taking the aviation slot. Good test for future work time/marriage time if you ask me..... Just my opinion

 

[NUFO06]

To much invested already in the wedding? Tell her you have to much already invested in your dream. If it really is your dream then this is a no brainer. Tell her she will be much happier married in the aviation community. This is also a good first lesson in that needs of the Navy come first.

 

[OUSOONER]

Just look at it from a very primitive viewpoint. SWO + WIFE = After the euphoria of being a newlywed wears off, you have to be a SWO still. When my wife annoys me, I can go fly...and forget about it for 1.5.

 

[Mike978]

My suggestion is to try to schedule your wedding around one of the big federal holidays (I'm getting married on July 3), because it's a weekend you will most likely get off in the training command anyways. If you tell your Admin people right when you check in that you're getting married, they should be able to work with you.

Anyone else think that might work? Plan around a federal holiday? Her biggest question is if the previous planned date can't work, then what date will? Everyone I've spoken to says that's impossible to answer until you're in a pipeline. When will this become more clear, after I'm through with OCS? Assuming I'm commissioned by this coming May, would summer or fall 2011 be a safer assumption?

She really is an amazing girl, wouldn't have popped the question if it weren't so. She's also a registered nurse so hoping it'll be easy to get her a job somewhere near the base. Her argument has been if she's willing to give up everything and move down there for me, I should be able to commit to getting home for just one day, but it's been tough to explain to her why and how difficult that would be.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate the advice.

 

[60flyer]

Anyone else think that might work? Plan around a federal holiday?

Her argument has been if she's willing to give up everything and move down there for me, I should be able to commit to getting home for just one day,

Yep, holidays definitely work. And Christmas is the easiest. You will always have off for Christmas. Plus if you do Christmas there is a good possibility you'll have off before/after as well so you can make the day a little more special by being a part of the preparation rather than just showing up the morning of, throwing on your tux, and leaving on a plane back to work the next day.

Plus it's pretty easy for family to gather round because they meet that time anyway.

Winter wedding - snow goes with everything.

As for the comment "you should be able to give me JUST ONE DAY"...that makes me think she doesn't fully understand what's about to happen. You're already torn trying to please the Navy and your future wife. It's only going to get worse.....