Stupidest thing you've heard . . .

[scoolbubba]

Lots of this stuff is airshow disinformation told by the static display "minders" to the throngs of airshow know-nothings. Pod RAT as aux thrust for takeoff (or as propellers during impromptu ASW), IFR probe as a directed energy weapon. I've told all those tall tales and more - usually sporting a flight suit nametag that reads "Oliver Klozoff" or the ubiquitous "Heywood Jablome." "It's pronounced Yahh-blom, madam."

Brett

One of our AWOs told a kid the MAD boom was a stinger that we used to stab subs with on the surface in some kind of P-3 tail stand maneuver.

 

[H60Gunner]

One of our AWOs told a kid the MAD boom was a stinger that we used to stab subs with on the surface in some kind of P-3 tail stand maneuver.

That is why it is called the Microwave Attack Device, it cooks the inside of a sub during the common "Tail Stand Maneuver".

 

[Treetop Flyer]

I have to admit, the first couple times I saw MAD on this thread I thought: "Mutually Assured Destruction"

 

[Vas Deferens]

Here are a few:

"Helicopters can't fly very high because they need to push the air against the ground to stay aloft."

"These newer choppers really go fast now that they have afterburners" -pointing to the exhaust

 

[beaverslayer]

One of the stupidest things I've heard/seen:

Um, since you were probably never in the Army, have you ever seen We Were Soldiers or Blackhawk Down?

 

[Coota0]

One of the stupidest things I've heard/seen:

Ouch

 

[zipmartin]

Static display at an airshow at Kalamazoo, answering questions about the A-4F:

Lady: What's that? (pointing to refueling probe)
Me: That's our new, secret laser gun.
Lady: Oh..........Why is it bent like that?
Me: So we can shoot around corners.
Lady: Oh..........Cool!

 

[Swanee]

Some people came out to watch our ops at the soaring airfield. A student was flying with an instructor in the back of an L-13. Guy on the ground says to his buddy," So the guy in the back seat flies the tow plane...."

We started laughing, he wasn't joking...

 

[bob88899]

This is nothing aviation related... but i have a very dense friend who no joke thought Reno 911 was REAL when it first came out... as in something like COPS.... all i could do is shake my head... we let him believe that until he finnaly realized it himself a few weeks later... haha he was so disapointed....

 

[nittany03]

Actually, that's not a gun. Its the "jesus screw" and if its removed, the entire jet will come apart from nose to tail in 3 sections...how do you you not know this?

WRONG! That's the little screw on the radome tip of the baby Hornet. Come on, don't you know ANYTHING about airplanes?

 

[jtmedli]

Static display at an airshow at Kalamazoo, answering questions about the A-4F:

Lady: What's that? (pointing to refueling probe)
Me: That's our new, secret laser gun.
Lady: Oh..........Why is it bent like that?
Me: So we can shoot around corners.
Lady: Oh..........Cool!

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...did this woman not bother to check up on her stuff before she came to the airshow...EVERYONE KNOWS you can't bend a light wave around a corner!! :icon_roll

 

[MD2NZ]

Airshows are the greatest for hearing ridiculous assumptions.

"I heard that when a helicopter has to land in the water the pilots will "flip" it over to stop the blades".

MAD= Microwave Attack Device

While giving a tour during an airshow onboard a P-3- "Does this plane still fly?"

On a P-3 static during the Andrews AFB open house, "Did you really fly this here?"

Heard it twice that weekend.

 

[wplax26]

When I was nuke instructor up in Ballston Spa, NY there is an "epcot center ball" looking containment facility for an older prototype. It can be seen at different areas in town. It's easily a couple hundred miles from any water source other than the Hudson river but locals swore it was used as a submarine refueling facility via an underground tunnel from the Hudson!

iowahawk.typepad.com/.../07/ball-of-the--25.html

 

[Boomhower]

Lots of this stuff is airshow disinformation told by the static display "minders" to the throngs of airshow know-nothings. Pod RAT as aux thrust for takeoff (or as propellers during impromptu ASW), IFR probe as a directed energy weapon. I've told all those tall tales and more - usually sporting a flight suit nametag that reads "Oliver Klozoff" or the ubiquitous "Heywood Jablome." "It's pronounced Yahh-blom, madam."

Brett

Lesson to newbs: Steal an O-4's nametag off of his NOMEX jacket prior to leaving for an airshow. Wear said nametag when being an asshole at the airshow or drinking heavily during the airshow. If you have true balls, steal the Skipper's nametag. I've seen it done.

 

[FlyBoyd]

T-44C Static at Visiting Nurse Association Air Show, Stuart, FL.

Lady: "Do you own this plane?"
Me: "No, you do."

Obligatory "Does this plane still fly?/You flew this here?

a dad: " What's that TV for (pointing to the glass display)?
me: "Watching the game." (Texas game was being played and I had it on my iPhone)
dad: "Why don't you watch it on there now?"
me: "Your cell phone interferes with the signal."
dad: (turning to son) "That's why we turn them off in the planes."

Heavyset gentleman wants to get into plane with kids. I stop him because he looks 3 bills + and stairs/door will collapse at that weight.
Fat Guy: "I should be able to get on there I paid for it."
Me: "What if the door breaks? Do you really want to pay twice?"