Spare the rod, spoil the child (child-rearing tips for aviators)

[smittyrunr]

You, sir, have obviously never been to a drinking establishment in southern Spain at 0330 in the AM.:icon_tong

I still remember the Spanish families strolling in with their little ones (any and all ages)...ordering a cerveza or something with a bit more kick and then hanging out for a couple of hours.

Sometimes the kids were good...sometimes not.

I also remember that when I finally had to call it a night those kids were still going strong...and probably snuck over to finish my last glass of sherry, too.

We always joked it explained the absence of a Spanish Apollo program...too busy having fun drinking and carousing to worry about a space race with anyone.

It'd be ma'am, actually, and I had much too much sangria that night to remember whether there were small children about.

Plenty of exceptions to my "no kids at bars" stance (and I know it's generally accepted in Europe). I'll revise my statement to be more in line with exhelodrvr- children do not belong at social functions unless they are specifically family events.
Squadron picnic- bring 'em all and set up the bouncy-bounce and pony rides
Other event that just disguises a JO drunkfest- not so much

 

[statesman]

lol, almost any modern psychologist regardless of their school of thought won't go against mounds of evidence that has now become pretty textbook.

There is a difference between 'mounds of violence' and getting a whoopin'

 

[eddie]

You, sir, have obviously never been to a drinking establishment in southern Spain at 0330 in the AM.:icon_tong

There IS a reason those people have like the lowest productivity in the world...

 

[NavAir42]

Yes, but it is some of the most entertaining lack of productivity anywhere in the world. Don't knock it unless you've tried it.

 

[FlyinRock]

I take my son (turns 5 in 26 days) everywhere I go. The only exceptions are when I am going someplace where I know he won't have any fun (like a deer stand at 4:30 AM when it is 30 degrees out).

Little Bevo and I (and his mother for that matter) have been through hell and back just to still be together and we have a bond that is pretty strong. If you think that it's hard to take your kids to the grocery store, try 11 rounds of chemotherapy, two major surgeries, a bone marrow transplant, and 23 days of radiation. Not to mention 15 (of 18) rounds of maintenance chemo. That has been a cake walk.

I don't want to sound self-righteous and I don't pretend to be a better father than anyone. I just know better than to feel like it is a task to get up in the morning and fix breakfast, because there have been to many mornings where I would have cut off an arm just to get LittleBevo to take a single bite. You think diapers suck? Try being up in the middle of the night holding a puke bucket because your 30 pound 3 year old is throwing because of chemotherapy.

My kid is a blessing, and I do everything in my power not to waste a day with him. I hope nobody would have to go through what we did, but take it from us, don't take your children for granted.

BEVO
God Love Ya! When my son was still pretty small and got pnuemonia, I remember holding him, rocking and tears dripping down because I couldn't do a damned thing to ease his misery. I told my wife I'd rather be in a firefight than to have to watch that little guy and I couldn't do anything to help.
I try really hard to remember that when I have to smack his little ass to make a point. Adding to that, I was a DI at SDiego in the 50's and got really tired of the hardnosed discipline that goes with the job. Two years of it and I didn't want to raise my voice above a whisper for years after.
However, my son who is now 32 months old, is flexing his muscles as kids do in their development. His Momma works and gets up at 0430 so when he starts to fuss in the middle of the night, I'll go crawl into bed with him and get him calmed down and back to sleep. When he gets disciplined he also gets hugs and kisses afterward. I hope he grows up to be a mature self disciplined caring individual with the confidence to take care of himself and those he cares about.
My wife went thru 8 IVF cycles before we were blessed with our son but it was nothing compared to what you have gone thru again. I salute you and your wife. God bless your son and your family. wheeeew
Rocky

 

[feddoc]

I take my son (turns 5 in 26 days) everywhere I go. The only exceptions are when I am going someplace where I know he won't have any fun (like a deer stand at 4:30 AM when it is 30 degrees out).

Little Bevo and I (and his mother for that matter) have been through hell and back just to still be together and we have a bond that is pretty strong. If you think that it's hard to take your kids to the grocery store, try 11 rounds of chemotherapy, two major surgeries, a bone marrow transplant, and 23 days of radiation. Not to mention 15 (of 18) rounds of maintenance chemo. That has been a cake walk.

I don't want to sound self-righteous and I don't pretend to be a better father than anyone. I just know better than to feel like it is a task to get up in the morning and fix breakfast, because there have been to many mornings where I would have cut off an arm just to get LittleBevo to take a single bite. You think diapers suck? Try being up in the middle of the night holding a puke bucket because your 30 pound 3 year old is throwing because of chemotherapy.

My kid is a blessing, and I do everything in my power not to waste a day with him. I hope nobody would have to go through what we did, but take it from us, don't take your children for granted.

Bevo, you are not alone. We adopted a kid when he was 4; he turns 9 today. He has a host of problems, most related to his previous womb owner and her drug habit. It is a constant battle...very slowly getting better. My best to you.

 

[FlyinRock]

Fedoc
Cheers for you as well. My brother and his wife were doing foster care for kids of drug parents for years and they couldn't handle it after about 10 years. But, they also had a revolving door kind of situation with SDiego county. The emotional drain was too great for them.
My salutes to you and your wife.
Semper Fi
Rocky

 

[rgfh2003]

Yes, screaming/crying/whining children anywhere you go is annoying. Yes, having kids at adult functions is inconvienent... but if you are going to get on here to say "Keep them at home!"...you obviously don't have kids, experience with them, nor do you have a good idea of how military life works.

Yes, there are brats out there, often it's not their fault - as many have eluded - it's upbringing. However...they are people and have their own will. They are not robots. If they were - how boring would the world be?! If you want them to be "perfect"...maybe reflect on times in the past that maybe you didn't get 100% on a test/flight/fitrep...fought with friends, family or foes...

My kids are USUALLY good, and I do take them grocery shopping with me...all 3, under the age of 5. Do I WANT to take them? No...but am I going to hire a baby-sitter so I can grocery shop?! NO. It's through daily experiences that kids learn right from wrong. Have my kids been hit with a cart before? YES, one did. She learned something from that stupid act! I laughed, the poor lady looked horrified, but it was my daughter who walked into a stopped cart. My daughter learned to be aware of her surroundings. Sometimes it doesn't matter how blue in the face you repeat things. If you ever have the privledge of having children - you'll see this when you rear your own.

I do not know a single child out there that does not act up every once in a while. My husband isn't a child, but jeez - so does he, as do I. Have some heart. You don't know what is going on in the family. The Mom/Dad might have deployed. There may be fighting at home, problems at school...the child sick... I can assure you that Moms or Dads for that matter - do not WANT to bring kids shopping if they know it's close to nap-time or the kids are having an "off" day.

Compassion. Learn it. Live it. If you are blessed to have kids, you'll understand. Life isn't all about you and what is in/convienent.

 

[MasterBates]

You laugh when your crumb cruncher runs into someones kart.

I had to deal with a lady 2 days ago at the NAB Little Creek commissary who's morbildy obese 5 year old thundered into the side of my legs, and I went down on the floor on top of him.

She screams yells rants and raves for a good 10 minutes. The EMTs and MAs come. She wants me to get "reprimanded" for "hurting her baby without remorse". Kid wasn't even bleeding or bruised.

And this is not the first time I have seen kids like this at the commissary. I'm not sure how that would have played out in town.

Grocer- Bring kids, but I don't want to hear them screaming or have them run into me.
Parties/Functions- Leave the little bastards at home. I don't care HOW well they normally behave. I hate mando fun to start with, and your little screamer just makes me drink MORE. Get a sitter. If your husbands and O-whatever, you can afford it. Just roll back on your shoe shopping and haagen-daz.

 

[BACONATOR]

Life isn't all about you and what is in/convienent.

Yes it is, BECAUSE I chose not to have kids... yet.

I had to deal with a lady 2 days ago at the NAB Little Creek commissary who's morbildy obese 5 year old thundered into the side of my legs, and I went down on the floor on top of him.

She screams yells rants and raves for a good 10 minutes. The EMTs and MAs come. She wants me to get "reprimanded" for "hurting her baby without remorse". Kid wasn't even bleeding or bruised.

And this is not the first time I have seen kids like this at the commissary. I'm not sure how that would have played out in town.

I swear to god you're the only person I've ever heard of who gets threatened with legal action on a weekly/daily basis.

 

[MasterBates]

Well, she didn't say the "sue" word. But she was all sorts of pissed at me for "falling on her kid".

It just don't like it when the screaming Yentas and their misbehaving crotchfruit are running wild in the Commissary. You'd think that would be the more "orderly" grocery store.

I think I need to start shopping at Bloom and Harris-Teter more often.

 

[Fred]

Yes, having kids at adult functions is inconvienent... but if you are going to get on here to say "Keep them at home!"...you obviously don't have kids, experience with them, nor do you have a good idea of how military life works.

I’ve got four kids, and have been around the military for several years. I think I have a decent idea of how military life works. It was very rare I took them grocery shopping when they were little unless it was a quick trip. My normal once every 2 week trip takes a good 90+min. I felt it was very unfair to the kids to have them in that environment for so long and unfair to the other patrons when the kids reached the end of their patience half way through the commissary. I did hire sitters, and found it easier on everyone. They would much rather stay home and play than have to either sit in a cart or walk next to one for over an hour. All four managed to learn to behave in public with no real problems, even without prolonged exposure to commissary shopping as young children.

In the years we’ve spent raising “Navy Brats” we either hired a sitter, or one of us stayed home for adult functions. I refuse to be disrespectful and make people “bend the rules” for my convenience, and I detest when others take it upon themselves to bring their darling children to my home for a clearly stated adult function; especially when we made the effort to have our kids elsewhere.

I understand some don’t want to get sitters, and that’s fine. However, if that’s their choice they also need to realize they are also choosing to miss out on some functions. I don’t think it’s fair to the other adults in attendance.

 

[rgfh2003]

I'm mild-insulted by the term crumb-crunchers, but yes. I do feel like I have to rebuttle. I'm also annoyed by the thought that "us women" just are out spending money on shoe shopping - maybe you need to meet some other type of women? There are things such as 1. retirement (God forbit, even in our mid-20s thinking about putting away for the future...some of you may want to chew on that...) 2. College Education (True, those of you without children at the moment or later don't need to worry about that.) 3. Savings (Another term a lot of America has yet to figure out...) I'm extremely proud of my family for being being able to put our daughter in private school, putting away money for retirement, college education, and saving - while living comfortably. We don't go blow it on nights out partying... Do we get sitters? Yes, when we need too - do we attend functions? When we want too...and depending on the time, location, other children in attendance, would we ever consider bringing our 3...

It is a person's right to decide when they want to have children. It is a person's right IF they even want to have children. It is only pure decency to treat a person with basic civil courtesy.

I am just assuming that the majority of the people on AW are either 1. Interested in becoming a Naval aviator 2. Are in the process of becoming a Naval aviator 3. Are a Naval aviator or 4. Used to be a Naval aviator or 5. Are somehow linked to Naval aviation in general.

If that is true...don't you think as a Navy or Marine Corps Officer (or soon to be) you should be held to a higher standard? You aren't Joe Schmoe on the corner cursing at Moms (or Dads for that matter) with their kids while they run basic errands. People look up to you. They TRUST you whether you deserve it or not.

From the Navy creed: "I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all."
From the Marine Corps Prayer: "Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions which I must uphold."

Okay...so you non-believers - I am sure are going to start bashing me that you don't pray, so it doesn't pertain to you. It DOES.

My husband was an enlisted harrier mechanic when I met him. A LCpl to be exact. He looked up and respected the pilots that flew the jets he as worked 12 hr shifts - sometimes longer - to ensure their safety and completion of daily sorties. He worked hard, and I'm so proud of him. He got accepted into a commissioning program, finished college, did OCS, TBS, API, Primary and he is now in Advanced. Please don't tell me that his peers are going to be self-centered jerks?

To me...I think of an officer as distinguished and honorable. I've heard about the drunken fests, seen the parties...do I care? No. Most of you are young, ummarried...why do I care? It's your life. You are entitled to be whoever you want. It's YOUR choice. Just as some of us choose to bring our children grocery shopping or anywhere else that they are legally allowed to be.

I would be careful to watch what is said. Most of us Moms/Dads are forgiving and understand that there are people out there too young, irresponsible, and immature deal with kids. Words whether spoken or written can sometimes be forgiven, but not forgotten. Our family is at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to "Officer-land" - but there are higher ranking, COs, XOs and the like that have young children too.

Would you honestly choose to be a jerk to the CO's wife when she and her children are having an "off" day? People are forgiven, but not forgotten at times.

Can we all agree that kids can be UGLY at the commissary, grocery store, malls, resturants and the like? Yes. Can we all agree that there are parent's you'd like to throttle for having ill-mannered/obese or overweight kids? Yes. As a (hopefully mature) adult, can you just accept that they are a CHILD. I'm sure you had UGLY days too.

 

[scoolbubba]

I'm mild-insulted by the term crumb-crunchers...

Ma'am, if that took you all the way to mild insulted...maybe this forum ain't the place to be lurkin' about...

And yea, we are a self righteous, self centered bunch of ass clowns. But that doesn't necessarily make me wrong when I don't feel like dodging someone else's kids at an adult event, or when they are going nuts in a store, or at a ball game/movie/etc. Just because you have curtain climbers doesn't mean the world bends to their will.

 

[Alpha_Echo_606]

yes it is, because i chose not to have kids... Yet.

Quoted For Truth !

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