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OCS quotes

I was in Kilo 1 for second increment and I think one of the funniest things I heard was when we were doing the Confidence Course and I forget who it was but they fell off the monkey bars. All I heard from across the field was SSGT Dawkins

"what da, how the hell you fall off the freakin' monkey bars candidate?"

Hilarious, but you probably had to be there. If you were you know what I'm talking about.
I had this happen to me during inspection I forget the Captains last name he was another platoons CO.

Captain: "Did you use all your q-tips to clean this weapon candidate?"
Me: "Yes Sir"
Captain: "Is that why your ears are dirty?"
Me: "Yes Sir"
I had nothing to really respond with and it was all I could do to keep from laughing.
 
yeah, that monkey bars quote made it onto the field meet shirt


(in a high squeaky voice.)
Cand. 1st Sgt: Candidate Platoon Sgts, take charge of your platoons and march them to the chowhall, port side.
Duty I: Aww hell no!
Cand. 1st Sgt: As i was
Duty I: No, as you were
Cand. 1st Sgt: As i was
 
I was a squad leader, and i'm supervising the chowhall line in bobo hall. An SI (might have been GySgt Harper) pulls one of my fireteam leaders out of line for not having his trousers bloused. i almost lost it.

SI : You aint got your trousers bloused. Know what that means?
Cand. Okada: A three hundred word essay Gunnery Sergeant?
 
My all time favorite from formation outside Bobo involved a candidate plt Sgt who had trouble sounding off and got flustered easily in front of the platoon. His facing command was "Platoon, face me!"
 
Anyone that was part of Company K, 1st Increment, last summer will remember this one...

Cand.First.Sgt : "Cand.Plt.Sgts, take charge of your platoons... and" (looks around and doesn't know what command to give)... "march them that way!" (comes from POA and points both arms in direction of Bobo Hall.) So funny...
 
Speaking of interesting quotes from OCS this summer, who remembers when one of the SI's from Company K told us "there is no 'I' in 'United States Marines'"?? (a la the famous there is no I in Team quote). As I remember, that quote made its way onto the platoon shirt of first or second.
 
One time our Cand. Platoon Sergeant almost marched us into the Potomac River outside Bobo Hall. He couldn't remember the halt command, and after 3 or 4 desperate attempts he finally just yelled "Platoon stop!!" right before our squad leaders got wet.

Good times.
 
This is not a quote but funny stories from my boot camp experience:

#1. We remade Iwo Jima out of footlocker, 32 naked Marines, and a guidon.

#2. During qual week at the rifle range we were eating "box nasties" and the DI never let us eat anything because he would make us do "Drill Instructor Says" and of course he had a slang so bad we couldn't understand anything he said so we never ate noon chow. One day after playing these games the SDI came up and asked if we had ate chow, of course all but one of us said "Yessir" One loney fat recruit said "No". The SDI ask what he hadn't ate and he said his eggs. The the SDI said everyone give recruit *** their eggs and we watched him eat 72 eggs. The recruit will prob. never eat eggs again!

#3. My Kill hat had narcolepsy and he would fall asleep during knowledge time, rifle pt, drill time, and funniest of all would be on the quarterdeck will killing us... he would just straight pass out! I think this would get someone discharged but Im sure he has it under control and it didn't happen every day but at least once a week... it was awesome cause recruits would get up off the quarterdeck and go back and get online when he would pass out and he would get up forgetting what he was doing!
 
I remember on first libo PLC 1st inc 2004 I was at that little mini mart in Q-town and some guy walked up to me and started talking to me (I assumed he was an officer, which was a good call) it went something like this
LT: You go to OCS
me: Yes Sir, Kilo Co, 3rd Plt
LT: how do you like it
me: sir this candidate loves OCS, there is nothing more this candidate wants than to become an officer of Marines
LT: you can lay off the sir and this candidate
me: aye sir. sorry sir, this candidate. . . im sorry
LT: its ok, it just becomes second nature doesn't it. well have fun and good luck
me: aye sir, thank you sir

c'mon after being drilled in that you call everyone by rank or if you dont know rank sir, and refering to yourself as "This candidate" for 3 weeks you woulda done the same
 
I'm sorry to all of you but I def. think that K - 2 first increment had the all time best quotes all from the same man ... Staf Sgt. X (SSgt X - Claw - Walk) at least thats how we called him. I believe it started with a U or something.

SSgt walking into a squad bay full of Candidates right after showering ...

SSgt: Jesus! Put those turkey guts away, it aint Thanksgiving!

SSgt to us right before first LIBO

SSgt: Now I know many of you got your little g/f's coming up to see you so don't be coming back to my barracks with no Stink Finger!

SSgt when we were practicing for the drill comp, right before we entered the chow hall, so we did not have our weapons and were doing "Air Manual".

SSgt: Thats what i'm talking about ... looking like a bunch of tight ass mimes!

and when he was telling us not to move in formation no matter what happens, even if a fly lands on your nose or goes up your ear, during the dril comp, it was put in this form, and I quote!!

"Oh mother f***** well, suck it the F*** up!"

Oh how I miss the good times! :)
 
SSGt X Claw-Walk (however you spell it) was hilarious. One night before lights out our first fire watch candidates were standing by SSgt Dawkins near the lights. SSgt Dawkins says "Three minutes to lights." The candidate nearest him starts screaming "THREE MINUTES TO LIGHTS, THREE MINUTES...." Well SSGt Xclaw-walk cuts him off and says "FIVE MINUTES TO LIGHTS." Well now the candidate is confused as all hell, and SSGt Dawkins whispers "two minutes to lights." So the candidate starts screaming 'TWO MINUTES TO LIGHTS, TWO MINU......" Well SSGt Xclaw-walk cuts him off and starts screaming "SHUT THE F*** UP!! SHUT THE F*** UP!! WE'RE THE DUTY PLATOON! 3 MINUTES TO LIGHTS" Needless to say, this continued back and forth for about 3 minutes, and it was all we could do not to laugh at the top of our lungs in our racks.
 
Bobcat said:
SSGt X Claw-Walk (however you spell it) was hilarious. One night before lights out our first fire watch candidates were standing by SSgt Dawkins near the lights. SSgt Dawkins says "Three minutes to lights." The candidate nearest him starts screaming "THREE MINUTES TO LIGHTS, THREE MINUTES...." Well SSGt Xclaw-walk cuts him off and says "FIVE MINUTES TO LIGHTS." Well now the candidate is confused as all hell, and SSGt Dawkins whispers "two minutes to lights." So the candidate starts screaming 'TWO MINUTES TO LIGHTS, TWO MINU......" Well SSGt Xclaw-walk cuts him off and starts screaming "SHUT THE F*** UP!! SHUT THE F*** UP!! WE'RE THE DUTY PLATOON! 3 MINUTES TO LIGHTS" Needless to say, this continued back and forth for about 3 minutes, and it was all we could do not to laugh at the top of our lungs in our racks.
Click to expand...

I remember that, freakin' hilarious. Our staff was great.
 
Anyone who ever had GySgt Robinson might remember him doing this:

Candidate: Good morning Gunnery Sergeant Candidate X requests permission to...

GySgt: WHAAAAAAAA?????

Cand: Gunnery Sergeant this candidate requests permission to make an emergency head call.

GySgt: GO!

[candidate runs off]

GySgt: whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA!!!

[candidate stops]

GySgt: hey dere candidate if its such a daggone emergency then how come I don't hear the siren

[candidate assumes expression of complete bewilderment]

GySgt: I better hear some kinda daggone siren noise come out yo' mouth while you runnin' to the daggone head yunnastannat?

Candidate: Aye Gunnery Sergeant

[candidate runs away]

Candidate: WOOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOO!! etc.

good times man, good times.....
 
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