Would like help in writing a short story about Naval Aviators.

[ZekeBathory]

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

I'm a former enlisted Marine and Naval aviation buff. It's been a few years since I've lurked on this forum, but it's still as interesting as it was when I first stumbled upon it. I envy you all and I'm a little embarrassed to admit I am not a man of officer-caliber, let alone a man that belongs in a cockpit.

I'm writing my first post here to make a special -- and probably unique -- request. I'm something of a writer in my spare time. When I'm not working as a lowly manager at a liquor store or cleaning up my little apartment, I toy with stories and one of has been on the back burner for the last few years.

The world doesn't need another Top Gun or Stealth, so I'd like some technical and cultural advisement when writing my fantasy short story about a nugget lieutenant who is under investigation for ejecting over the Pacific on a routine flight. The investigating officer turns up more and more evidence that connects the incident with local Hawaiian legends of dragons. The implication, of course, being that the pilot was harassed by a dragon and it's up to the investigator to find out whether or not the pilot is crazy and at fault -- or if there is actually a dragon out dogfighting with the locals.

I plan on finishing this story before the end of June. What I would like most is input from authentic Naval aviators to prevent my story from becoming some over-simplistic piece of Hollywood wankery. I will not ask for or use any details that are not otherwise available to the public.

I'll write the story, you folks tell me how to make the pilots more real and less like Saturday morning cartoon characters.

Anyone interested?

Thanks for your time,

ZB

 

[TheBubba]

Make'em seem like real people with real lives. One thing that chaps me in alot of movies is how they show aviators always at parties, fighting, getting drunk, etc. It ain't exactly like that... we've got alot of the same issues that every other American deals with. That's probably a really good place to start.

 

[Mumbles]

First off, every time I'm about to do combat with a dragon, I make sure I keep these handy.

 

[Scoob]

I'm writing my first post here to make a special -- and probably unique -- request. I'm something of a writer in my spare time. When I'm not working as a lowly manager at a liquor store or cleaning up my little apartment, I toy with stories and one of has been on the back burner for the last few years.

I smell a swap opportunity.

 

[porw0004]

Army pilots have a lot more experience fighting dragons.

 

[Tyler]

What % get dragons?

 

[RockyMtnNFO]

The first thing to know is how much a pilot relies on the NFO (back seater). If i were to guess at the first thing a pilot would say upon a dragon sighting, it would be something like, "Crap, what do we do now?"

On a serious note, for a Class A mishap like a Dragon eating an airplane, there most likely would not be one investigating officer like there would be for a sailor accused of a violation of the UCMJ. If there was just one guy in your book - you can do whatever the hell you want- I can tell you that it is a little scary as well as exciting investigating something in the Navy. You may have had only a short computer based training on protecting servicemember's rights and a pep talk from the legal O and you are off to the races conducting an investigation that will have serious ramifications on a young man or woman's life. In the Navy, we try to get things done at the lowest level and the result is junior officers carrying a great deal of responsibility at times; I think that's a good thing.

Dragons and planes, man that's awesome.

I wish we could contract for a +2 Dragon piercing Rockeye.

Anybody who got that joke is a geek.

Steve

 

[FLYTPAY]

NSAWC recommends against engaging dragons, however if you find yourself with the opportunity, BVR shots are advisable as once you are in close trying to pull a Leroy Jenkins, the dragon can turn his head and negate any advantage you might think you have. Is there a heroin involved? (girl hero, not illicit drug)

 

[TheBubba]

Is there a heroin involved? (girl hero, not illicit drug)

Heroine.

Spell Nazi.. apologies.

 

[Renegade One]

Okay...too cool not to reply. They get a very detailed and credible (sort of...) debrief of the event under hypnosis (or drugs?). A crusty clinical psychologist thinks "no way this guy is making this up...but I withhold further opinion, other than to say he believes it..."

Some forensic clues found in/on the guy's salvaged flight gear...bit of broken tooth or claw, some imbedded "scales", etc. Some sort of physical evidence to go with the "story". If it's MIDPAC, doubt they'd salvage the wreckage, but perhaps something intetresting in/on some floating debris?

Some bits of verifiable jet wreckage found ashore high on a mountaintop wherever these here dragons are supposed to live in Hawaii?

Some apparently unuseable hand-held photography or audio recording that, under NSA-style analysis, yields something mysterious?

Maybe additional forensic material found "high on that mountaintop" that positively link to long-ago disappearances, ala Flight 19?

No need to swap the ideas for the contents of your store..I obviously have enough.

V/R, Spike

 

[Mumbles]

I think Falkor the Dragon would be a pretty danderous adversary.....

especially when teamed with Peter Griffin.

 

[FLYTPAY]

If this is made into a movie, dibbs on the starring role.

 

[Yank]

....Maybe additional forensic material found "high on that mountaintop" that positively link to long-ago disappearances....

V/R, Spike

Rosebud?

 

[nittany03]

Not to put your readers to sleep, but any mishap like that would probably involve three separate boards or investigations that I can think of. A Field Naval Aviator Evaluation Board or FNAEB is mandatory if a pilot has a Class A or B mishap (loss of a jet, more than $1M damage, loss of life, or permanent disability is a Class A) Read here for more info. The purpose of this board is to determine a pilot's fitness for continued duty as such. It can recommend a return to flight status either unequivocally or in a probationary status. It can recommend a transfer to fly another aircraft or become an NFO. Or, it can recommend that the individual be removed from flight status. If this is the case, it may or may not revoke his/her right to wear the Wings of Gold. This is conducted by 3 aircrew officers and a flight surgeon. None of them can be from that squadron in order to preserve impartiality. The final authority on the disposition of this board is a Vice Admiral who is Commander, Naval Air Forces. This process can take many months, depending on circumstances.

There will also be what is called a JAGMAN investigation. The purpose of this investigation is to determine if there was criminal wrongdoing involved. I believe the squadron Legal Officer (a junior pilot or NFO) heads this up, and consults with JAG officers. I googled JAGMAN and found this.

The Naval Safety Center will also perform an investigation. Googled "Safety Center investigation" and found this. This is headed up by the Safety Officer, who is usually a Lieutenant Commander. The important thing to know about this investigation is that testimony given for it is privileged. It can't be used in a criminal investigation or to negatively affect the person's career. This is done to ensure that the proper lessons can be learned without anyone being afraid to speak their piece. Tensions have arisen in the past when this confidentiality was broken (i.e. when Kara Hultgreen was killed). This may be a useful dramatic device. Perhaps an overzealous attorney or an officer with a career to protect tries to publish/suppress the report?

Granted this is probably more info than you care about, but to me the biggest problem I have with military related writing is the "what the hell? That'd never happen" factor. I mean, I probably won't get eaten by a dragon tomorrow, but you get the idea. If you make it sound like you know what the military is really like, the suspension of disbelief becomes easier. You're prior, so I'm sure you've got the basics better than most, but aviation is its own animal too.

PM me if I've left you in the weeds and you need to know how a squadron or an airwing is organized, what the standard comms are around the boat, or something to that effect. I haven't cruised or spent time in a fleet squadron (yet) so I can't speak to the mindset of month 4 of an 8 month deployment or anything, but if you want a basic Naval Aviation sanity check on anything, I can help.

Other things to keep in mind and pet peeves of mine (having dabbled in the whole writing thing too):

• Listen to people talk. Listen to your buddies talk. Write dialog the way people talk. It's annoying as hell to hear a character who's a plumber use 5-dollar words because the author can't write dialog (George Lucas is a perfect example) or speak for paragraphs because the writer can't write exposition. Peruse the site and get a feel for how guys with wings post; it's indicative to how we as a group think and interact.
• Aviation is a low-BS environment for the most part. Aircrew tend to be über Type-A personalities, especially fighter guys. But that doesn't mean we're all Maverick or that we're all raging assholes. We hang out socially as a unit more than our civilian counterparts, but people, especially more senior guys, have wives and kids too and aren't raging boozehounds.

 

[Scoob]

I think Falkor the Dragon would be a pretty danderous adversary.....

Serious gayness. I like where this is heading. This book totally needs a LT Atreyu.

BTW, a mishap involves both the Safety investigation and the JAGMAN (mentioned above). A mishap of this scale would likely involve a Mishap Investigation Board consisting of a chairman played by the XO of a sister squadron, the squadron ASO, Asst OpsO, and QAO. Once the dragon aspect comes in, the Safety investigation gets halted and turned over to NCIS (for obvious drug use/failure to cooperate by aircrew). Eventually, it is stood back up and they get replaced by a flag sr. member, Wing Safety, Squadron Ops, and a crusty old MMCO LDO who has spent his entire carreer homesteading in Japan.

Oh yeah, definite FNAEB material...definitely.