Trying to ease a weary mother's mind

[BusyBee604]

....putting her in touch with the lieutenant who interviewed me would be more productive. He did leave me his contact information and told me to contact him with questions and concerns.

Dmitriy, has it been mentioned that ... even if Mom is only slightly computer savvy (like ol' BzB), she could sign on AW as a member. Then at first, browse the Parent's and/or Spouse's Corners, and read/ask questions in those, and other forums. It could possibly put her in touch with parents or mates who have experienced similar problems, and possibly found solutions, and may be willing to share them.

I recall there was an AW forum several years ago, where rough motivational statements were posted for proofreading & improvement recommendations. Many applicants asked for advice on solving parental & fiancee disapproval of military service/careers. There were many responses of somewhat varying opinions. I also recall that the majority of responders felt that the applicants were supposedly mature adults, and "the cord has to be cut" at some point, lest you spend the rest of your life lamenting what might have been!

Tough love???
BzB

 

[Dmitriy]

Dmitriy, has it been mentioned that ... even if Mom is only slightly computer savvy (like ol' BzB), she could sign on AW as a member. Then at first, browse the Parent's and/or Spouse's Corners, and read/ask questions in those, and other forums. It could possibly put her in touch with parents or mates who have experienced similar problems, and possibly found solutions, and may be willing to share them.

BzB,

Thanks, I thought that would a great place for her to start. I gave her a link to AW. She may be lurking as we speak...

 

[BusyBee604]

BzB,

Thanks, I thought that would a great place for her to start. I gave her a link to AW. She may be lurking as we speak...

I hope she is lurking, I think that would be a good sign!

* Mom Dmitriy, if you're lurking, WELCOME ABOARD!
BzB

 

[BackOrdered]

I think this is exactly my case. I think a) my mom projects a lot of stereotypes associated with enlisted service because she doesn't know the difference between enlisted and officer and b) she will assume that a recruiter will tell her (and me) anything just to get me to sign up.
I think instead of having her talk to my recruiter (who is an HM1, btw, so with no disrespect for the job he is doing with me, I don't think would be the best authority to speak about the life of a CEC Officer), putting her in touch with the lieutenant who interviewed me would be more productive. He did leave me his contact information and told me to contact him with questions and concerns.

Which is why I advise you make two separate events. I would have ZERO problem with explaining Officer programs to anyone's mom in that respect. But during an interview, I'm in "interview mode", everything is "for a grade" and everything assumes a dozen other people are looking at doing the same thing.

 

[Dmitriy]

Which is why I advise you make two separate events. I would have ZERO problem with explaining Officer programs to anyone's mom in that respect. But during an interview, I'm in "interview mode", everything is "for a grade" and everything assumes a dozen other people are looking at doing the same thing.

There is only one event in question here as at this point all that is left for me is the wait for the FINSEL to arrive. All interviews and recruiter visits have been done on my own months ago.
Going back to the original post though, anyone willing to volunteer their best experience in the Service?

 

[jg54170]

There is only one event in question here as at this point all that is left for me is the wait for the FINSEL to arrive. All interviews and recruiter visits have been done on my own months ago.
Going back to the original post though, anyone willing to volunteer their best experience in the Service?

Just sell her in the same things that made you want to serve. This will probably change with time though you may not think if it now. My quick story and experience...I joined cause I had no money to go to college and wanted to get out of Southern Illinois. I ended up meeting my wife and getting married and my ideas matured. Now I look forward to a 20 year retirement (though I will probably exceed 20), not having to worry about insurance, and not having to worry about providing for my family. My best experience has been joining the Navy, the travel, the camaraderie, there are few places where you will get an equivalent experience and a great pay and benefits package.

 

[BusyBee604]

Going back to the original post though, anyone willing to volunteer their best experience in the Service?

There were many great experiences in my 22 years of service, but without the simultaneous commissioning/winging, most of my other "best experiences" could never have happened. So that dual event, some 55 years ago... has to be it!

...I recall there was an AW forum several years ago... Many applicants asked for advice on solving parental & fiancee disapproval of military service/careers.
BzB

Dmitriy, if you haven't already found it, there is a "sticky" thread on this Forum, (sticky = red pinned threads at the top of each forum), titled "Family disapproval - what do I do?" . There are 185 posts on that thread, so that's bound to be of some help. At the very least, you'll know you weren't the first and/or only applicant to encounter family opposition, nor will you be the last!
BzB

 

[Renegade One]

I'm going to bust in on this with a small grammar correction (only because there has been talk of Dmitriy's writing elsewhere on AW, but please understand I am not trying to be a jerk, and I'm sorry this doesn't directly relate to the content of this post): weary = fatigued; wary = cautious, on guard. Please don't hate.

Oh, she may be weary
... girls they do get weary
...
But when she gets weary
Try a little tenderness…

- Otis Redding

 

[egiv]

I think you underestimate how many people don't know the difference between Officer and enlisted and the difference between service branches. On top of that, they suspect everything military recruiters say is a lie and that their kid is no longer a credible source because he/she now believes those 'lies.'

When parents get involved in a son/daughter signing up, even as a 23-27 year old looking for an officer program, they're doing it because of the stereotypes built into their heads. Personally, people I knew who were prior enlisted once upon a time were the most suspicious and biggest naysayers to joining.

Agreed. I'm not in the Navy yet, so I can't speak from experience, but I've had to deal with some pretty terrible civilian bosses and I just don't buy the "don't join the military because you will get ragged on by a jerk officer who wants to destroy you" argument, because you can find the same type of thing some civilian jobs (I'd almost prefer to be yelled at directly than put up with passive-aggressive smiles followed by bureaucratic backstabbing). Sure, you can quit if you want, but more often than not you just learn how to deal with it. For what it's worth, the best bosses I've had in terms of leadership and genuine care for their people have been a retired Marine and retired Coasty.

 

[LET73]

Agreed. I'm not in the Navy yet, so I can't speak from experience, but I've had to deal with some pretty terrible civilian bosses and I just don't buy the "don't join the military because you will get ragged on by a jerk officer who wants to destroy you" argument, because you can find the same type of thing some civilian jobs (I'd almost prefer to be yelled at directly than put up with passive-aggressive smiles followed by bureaucratic backstabbing). Sure, you can quit if you want, but more often than not you just learn how to deal with it. For what it's worth, the best bosses I've had in terms of leadership and genuine care for their people have been a retired Marine and retired Coasty.

Yes, if you're looking at the military in terms of whether your personal boss is going to be a good leader/decent human being, and basing your decision on that, you're doing it wrong. There are good bosses and bad bosses in every single career field where you have a boss.