kevin
Registered User
I like this email I got today.
"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIVE THE
>FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>My Fellow Americans:
>As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
>congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
>Iraq is complete.
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
>from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
>begin the reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which
>have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The
>United Kingdom, Italy, Bulgaria, Australia, Poland and Japan are some of
>the
>countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
>nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
>both lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
>war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
>
>On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
>hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
>earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
>China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
>now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
>for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.
>
>I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
>Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
>from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of
>thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your
>precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest
>chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
>to
>be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing
>us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire
>corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
>extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am gonna
>put
>em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by
>the
>way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
>
>We are tired of the one-way highway.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
>tootin."
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world
>has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
>It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
>America.
>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>God bless America.
>Thank you and good night."
>
>"If you can read this, thank a teacher."
>"If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier"
"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIVE THE
>FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>My Fellow Americans:
>As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
>congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
>Iraq is complete.
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
>from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
>begin the reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which
>have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The
>United Kingdom, Italy, Bulgaria, Australia, Poland and Japan are some of
>the
>countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
>nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
>both lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
>war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
>
>On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
>hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
>earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
>China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
>now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
>for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.
>
>I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
>Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
>from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of
>thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your
>precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest
>chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
>to
>be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing
>us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire
>corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
>extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am gonna
>put
>em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by
>the
>way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
>
>We are tired of the one-way highway.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
>tootin."
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world
>has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
>It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
>America.
>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>God bless America.
>Thank you and good night."
>
>"If you can read this, thank a teacher."
>"If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier"