What part of training had you the most screwed up in the head...the first solo? low level? carrier quals? night traps? where did you all feel the most anxiety and how bad was it?
I think you have some misconceptions on how "the program" works. I don't just mean primary or flight school, I'm talking overall. Everything is done as a stepping stone. First we get you in the air and hope you don't throw up. Then we take you to the pattern. Then we show you spins. Then we throw in relatively more complicated EPs. Then it's time for your first checkride. Do people tank the check ride? Sure, but if you have any sort of ability (and not everyone does) and you've been doing your part of studying, you've been set up to pass the check ride.
There may be anxiety before flights, though I'd guess that's limited more towards flight school/RAG flights (and combat flights), but it's not "fear." If it is, something needs to be adjusted. My only anxiety for both my civilian and military solo was to not screw up something stupid like a landing or a procedure, it wasn't about whether I was going to crash and burn.
I remember my CO telling me, after I made HAC, that my first flight as a HAC was going to have some weird noises I hadn't heard before. Maybe I'm oblivious, but after almost 600 hours in the aircraft, plus the other time in other aircraft (both civilian and military), I just didn't think it was that big a deal and didn't hear anything "weird."
I kind of assume there is a little anxiety felt before every flight, even for seasoned vets with thousands of hours...but you learn to put it in check and get the job done.
Again, the only anxiety you should feel is about procedures and not having someone else knocking you out of the sky (I would guess. I don't know that I've had anyone shooting at me). If you have issues w/ other mundane things like if the engine is going to quit, you might want to seek another profession. Stuff happens. We get over it and move on.