Unless you were not selected for a specific reason *and* you took great pains to overcome whatever that reason was, I would leave it out.
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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
Hey all, prior service Sailor here just got all the paperwork from the recruiter to start working. If you all could provide some feedback on the first draft of my motivational statement, it would be greatly appreciated. Just one thing to keep in mind, my first and second choice is pilot and intel which is the reason I wrote a general statement rather than community specific.
After separating from the Navy in 2022 to pursue a baccalaureate degree, I have felt a growing call to return to the service of my country. My great-grandfather served as a seaplane pilot during the Second World War and in my youth I would spend countless hours looking through the things he left behind. Pictures of battles from above, his log book of flights around the world, and the wings of gold still shiny 70 years after they were first pinned to his chest. While these were the things that caught my attention as a younger man and led me to enlist as a Corpsman in 2015, throughout my service something else of his that I had dismissed years before began to take precedence. Countless letters from old shipmates thanking him for his guidance and leadership throughout and after the war, the date they were written ranged from 1946 to 1993, the year of his death. To leave that kind of lifelong impact on his peers and junior Sailors is something that I began to internalize throughout my service as I also climbed the ladder of leadership.
During my first assignment at Beachmaster UNIT TWO, I excelled as the medical departmental career counselor, obtained qualifications in as many fields as possible, such as Beach Party Team Communicator and various vehicle operator qualifications. During a 2018 deployment aboard the USS NEW YORK I earned both the Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist and Enlisted Information Warfare Specialist well ahead of schedule. Additionally, following my qualification I held weekly study sessions to help my shipmates earn theirs. My aim was to be the example for my peers and juniors to follow, to be an asset to the unit and the Navy, but most importantly to be someone people could count on to take care of the mission and people. After transferring to I-I Wilmington, Delaware in September 2019 as the sole Medical Department Representative and Sailor within the unit, the scope of my work and responsibilities was completely different. Managing reservists, a decentralized chain of command as 6TH Engineer Support Battalion was located in Portland, Oregon, and the troubles of the COVID pandemic, these challenges were instrumental in the evolution of my level of adaptability. I would argue the pandemic was the most difficult administrative and operational challenge our military has faced in recent years. Despite this, the mitigation plan that I spearheaded resulted in zero positive cases connected to military duties and allowed I-I Wilmington to be the first Marine Forces Reserve unit to be permitted to conduct the annual medical-dental stand down in January 2021. Additionally, during this time I was able to earn the most coveted warfare device in the Corpsman community, the Enlisted Fleet Marine Force Warfare Specialist. While this achievement brought me great joy, I was not the only Sailor to earn it that day. My junior Corpsman, then HM2 Richard Kyte, was able to earn his as well, an achievement he credited to our weekly study sessions.
Qualifications and achievements of the past can only tell part of the story. A statement that a few of the battalion Chiefs told me upon my decision to separate has stayed with me: "I wish you would stay so we could see you become a khaki". While I assume they meant earning my anchors as they often mentioned that a triple-qualified TAR Corpsman with deployment experience is almost guaranteed to get selected for Chief. After my separation, I began to reflect on those words, and I believe it is time for me to challenge myself to earn my Khakis at OCS. Do not misunderstand, I do not write of my past in an attempt to say I am owed a commission, that it somehow means I deserve it, the officer and enlisted sides are different worlds and it would be foolish of me to assert otherwise. This is a chance for me to eat a slice of humble pie, learn all I can from the staff at OCS, and use the knowledge earned through my experiences to continue to help my fellow officer candidates. I have a record of superior performance, qualifications, and leadership, I would like to return as an officer to continue being an asset to the Navy and those around me. I would like to leave you with the greatest lesson I can say I have learned throughout my time as a Corpsman; The number one asset you have is your people; you can have the best equipment, unlimited funding, endless plans to cover every single aspect of a mission, but none of that, absolutely none of it matters if your people aren't mission-ready, whenever possible, they come first.
After separating from the Navy in 2022 to pursue a baccalaureate degree, I have felt a growing call to return to the service of my country. My great-grandfather served as a seaplane pilot during the Second World War and in my youth I would spend countless hours looking through the things he left behind. Pictures of battles from above, his log book of flights around the world, and the wings of gold still shiny 70 years after they were first pinned to his chest. While these were the things that caught my attention as a younger man and led me to enlist as a Corpsman in 2015, throughout my service something else of his that I had dismissed years before began to take precedence. Countless letters from old shipmates thanking him for his guidance and leadership throughout and after the war, the date they were written ranged from 1946 to 1993, the year of his death. To leave that kind of lifelong impact on his peers and junior Sailors is something that I began to internalize throughout my service as I also climbed the ladder of leadership.
During my first assignment at Beachmaster UNIT TWO, I excelled as the medical departmental career counselor, obtained qualifications in as many fields as possible, such as Beach Party Team Communicator and various vehicle operator qualifications. During a 2018 deployment aboard the USS NEW YORK I earned both the Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist and Enlisted Information Warfare Specialist well ahead of schedule. Additionally, following my qualification I held weekly study sessions to help my shipmates earn theirs. My aim was to be the example for my peers and juniors to follow, to be an asset to the unit and the Navy, but most importantly to be someone people could count on to take care of the mission and people. After transferring to I-I Wilmington, Delaware in September 2019 as the sole Medical Department Representative and Sailor within the unit, the scope of my work and responsibilities was completely different. Managing reservists, a decentralized chain of command as 6TH Engineer Support Battalion was located in Portland, Oregon, and the troubles of the COVID pandemic, these challenges were instrumental in the evolution of my level of adaptability. I would argue the pandemic was the most difficult administrative and operational challenge our military has faced in recent years. Despite this, the mitigation plan that I spearheaded resulted in zero positive cases connected to military duties and allowed I-I Wilmington to be the first Marine Forces Reserve unit to be permitted to conduct the annual medical-dental stand down in January 2021. Additionally, during this time I was able to earn the most coveted warfare device in the Corpsman community, the Enlisted Fleet Marine Force Warfare Specialist. While this achievement brought me great joy, I was not the only Sailor to earn it that day. My junior Corpsman, then HM2 Richard Kyte, was able to earn his as well, an achievement he credited to our weekly study sessions.
Qualifications and achievements of the past can only tell part of the story. A statement that a few of the battalion Chiefs told me upon my decision to separate has stayed with me: "I wish you would stay so we could see you become a khaki". While I assume they meant earning my anchors as they often mentioned that a triple-qualified TAR Corpsman with deployment experience is almost guaranteed to get selected for Chief. After my separation, I began to reflect on those words, and I believe it is time for me to challenge myself to earn my Khakis at OCS. Do not misunderstand, I do not write of my past in an attempt to say I am owed a commission, that it somehow means I deserve it, the officer and enlisted sides are different worlds and it would be foolish of me to assert otherwise. This is a chance for me to eat a slice of humble pie, learn all I can from the staff at OCS, and use the knowledge earned through my experiences to continue to help my fellow officer candidates. I have a record of superior performance, qualifications, and leadership, I would like to return as an officer to continue being an asset to the Navy and those around me. I would like to leave you with the greatest lesson I can say I have learned throughout my time as a Corpsman; The number one asset you have is your people; you can have the best equipment, unlimited funding, endless plans to cover every single aspect of a mission, but none of that, absolutely none of it matters if your people aren't mission-ready, whenever possible, they come first.
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
Quick notesHey all, prior service Sailor here just got all the paperwork from the recruiter to start working. If you all could provide some feedback on the first draft of my motivational statement, it would be greatly appreciated. Just one thing to keep in mind, my first and second choice is pilot and intel which is the reason I wrote a general statement rather than community specific.
After separating from the Navy in 2022 to pursue a baccalaureate degree, I have felt a growing call to return to the service of my country. My great-grandfather served as a seaplane pilot during the Second World War and in my youth I would spend countless hours looking through the things he left behind. Pictures of battles from above, his log book of flights around the world, and the wings of gold still shiny 70 years after they were first pinned to his chest. While these were the things that caught my attention as a younger man and led me to enlist as a Corpsman in 2015, throughout my service something else of his that I had dismissed years before began to take precedence. Countless letters from old shipmates thanking him for his guidance and leadership throughout and after the war, the date they were written ranged from 1946 to 1993, the year of his death. To leave that kind of lifelong impact on his peers and junior Sailors is something that I began to internalize throughout my service as I also climbed the ladder of leadership.
During my first assignment at Beachmaster UNIT TWO, I excelled as the medical departmental career counselor, obtained qualifications in as many fields as possible, such as Beach Party Team Communicator and various vehicle operator qualifications. During a 2018 deployment aboard the USS NEW YORK I earned both the Enlisted Surface Warfare Specialist and Enlisted Information Warfare Specialist well ahead of schedule. Additionally, following my qualification I held weekly study sessions to help my shipmates earn theirs. My aim was to be the example for my peers and juniors to follow, to be an asset to the unit and the Navy, but most importantly to be someone people could count on to take care of the mission and people. After transferring to I-I Wilmington, Delaware in September 2019 as the sole Medical Department Representative and Sailor within the unit, the scope of my work and responsibilities was completely different. Managing reservists, a decentralized chain of command as 6TH Engineer Support Battalion was located in Portland, Oregon, and the troubles of the COVID pandemic, these challenges were instrumental in the evolution of my level of adaptability. I would argue the pandemic was the most difficult administrative and operational challenge our military has faced in recent years. Despite this, the mitigation plan that I spearheaded resulted in zero positive cases connected to military duties and allowed I-I Wilmington to be the first Marine Forces Reserve unit to be permitted to conduct the annual medical-dental stand down in January 2021. Additionally, during this time I was able to earn the most coveted warfare device in the Corpsman community, the Enlisted Fleet Marine Force Warfare Specialist. While this achievement brought me great joy, I was not the only Sailor to earn it that day. My junior Corpsman, then HM2 Richard Kyte, was able to earn his as well, an achievement he credited to our weekly study sessions.
Qualifications and achievements of the past can only tell part of the story. A statement that a few of the battalion Chiefs told me upon my decision to separate has stayed with me: "I wish you would stay so we could see you become a khaki". While I assume they meant earning my anchors as they often mentioned that a triple-qualified TAR Corpsman with deployment experience is almost guaranteed to get selected for Chief. After my separation, I began to reflect on those words, and I believe it is time for me to challenge myself to earn my Khakis at OCS. Do not misunderstand, I do not write of my past in an attempt to say I am owed a commission, that it somehow means I deserve it, the officer and enlisted sides are different worlds and it would be foolish of me to assert otherwise. This is a chance for me to eat a slice of humble pie, learn all I can from the staff at OCS, and use the knowledge earned through my experiences to continue to help my fellow officer candidates. I have a record of superior performance, qualifications, and leadership, I would like to return as an officer to continue being an asset to the Navy and those around me. I would like to leave you with the greatest lesson I can say I have learned throughout my time as a Corpsman; The number one asset you have is your people; you can have the best equipment, unlimited funding, endless plans to cover every single aspect of a mission, but none of that, absolutely none of it matters if your people aren't mission-ready, whenever possible, they come first.
If you put Intel #2 the odds of being picked are low, they are a very sought after designator and prefer to see an IWC designator listed first, there have been some IWC boards where putting a non-IWC designator first is going to result in a "N". So I would think about which is more important.
What your family did in the past doesn't matter the boards that read the motivational statements want to know what you have done and what you can do for the USN.
trying2beegood
New Member
Hello! I'm working on my application to be a Supply Officer and just finished my motivational statement. I've never written one of these before so any and all feedback from those who have would be greatly appreciated. (Also, in case there are any comments about this, I have already tried copying & pasting it onto my application form. The only thing it says about word count is that it is limited to fit in the space provided, which it does... with about a line or two of space to spare). I also posted this over on Reddit so apologies if you're someone who's on both and has seen this twice.
Motivational Statement:
From the time I was young, I've had an innate desire to serve my country and help others. Serving my country is one of the most prestigious ways to contribute to the nation as a whole. As an officer, I will be able to use many skills taught to me while earning my Bachelor of Arts in business administration and pre-law at the University of Florida, while also learning countless new skills from the best that the Navy has to offer.
I believe that my background working the past 4 years as an office manager for a restaurant while simultaneously earning my bachelor’s will make me the best fit as a supply officer. As an office manager, I managed cash flow averaging $200,000 annually and maintained supply levels within a fluctuating budget. Approximately every quarter, I would reach out to our purveyors and get a cost breakdown for all items we ordered. After receiving this data, I was then able to compare which purveyor had the best quality product for the best price. In addition to comparing prices, I also created a system for inventory management that was not present before I assumed this role. This system was able to significantly reduce supply ordering errors while also reducing food waste. Although the civilian world is different, I am sure that my first-hand experience with supply chain management will translate into a good baseline of understanding when doing the same for the Navy.
My studies at the University of Florida significantly shaped my leadership and teamwork abilities. While in school, I was given the opportunity to participate in a competition for a mock interview process with Kraft Heinz. My team's job was to review 10 candidates and select the most qualified for the role. Initially, most of my group was unsure of how to proceed, which is when I assumed the role of group leader. I suggested that we start by making a spreadsheet with the list of criteria we were looking for. Then I divided the candidates amongst our group so that everyone was able to review whether or not their candidates satisfied said criterion. I checked in every few days to ensure that we would meet our deadline and assist when needed. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. By acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, you can lean on others who excel in areas where you may have shortcomings. In this example, I excelled at organizing our data but struggled to make it look presentable for the final product. However, one of my teammates had a lot of experience making slideshows and together we were able to make a final product that brought home a first-place trophy.
Being able to commit to a goal and not stop until I’ve accomplished it is something that I think truly defines who I am. This past August, I participated in a triathlon. When I signed up, I knew I had to dedicate time and energy every day to ensure I prepared both mentally and physically for the event. I started training just six months before the race, gradually pushing my limits at every opportunity. Three months before the triathlon, I had to take a six-week break from training due to an unforeseeable accident. This setback was frustrating and discouraging; it would have been easy to make excuses as to why I could no longer do it. Instead, I pushed myself every step of the way. I knew I could not give up. As soon as I was cleared to exercise again, I was back to training. I had lost progress but was still determined to be better than I was before the accident. Later, I discovered that I was also battling bronchitis on the day of the race. All obstacles aside, I fought to finish what I had started. After 6 months of following a rigorous schedule and a lot of hard work, not only did I complete the triathlon, but I finished second in my age and gender bracket.
A supply officer should be organized, a great leader, and adaptable to their circumstances. Throughout my experiences, I feel that these are all qualities that I have built a profound understanding of and an even greater desire to develop further. These qualities not only strengthen my commitment to excel as a supply officer but also align perfectly with the Navy's tradition of excellence. I know that my strong work ethic, desire to succeed, and attention to detail will make me an incredible asset to the Navy and I want nothing more than to be exactly that.
Motivational Statement:
From the time I was young, I've had an innate desire to serve my country and help others. Serving my country is one of the most prestigious ways to contribute to the nation as a whole. As an officer, I will be able to use many skills taught to me while earning my Bachelor of Arts in business administration and pre-law at the University of Florida, while also learning countless new skills from the best that the Navy has to offer.
I believe that my background working the past 4 years as an office manager for a restaurant while simultaneously earning my bachelor’s will make me the best fit as a supply officer. As an office manager, I managed cash flow averaging $200,000 annually and maintained supply levels within a fluctuating budget. Approximately every quarter, I would reach out to our purveyors and get a cost breakdown for all items we ordered. After receiving this data, I was then able to compare which purveyor had the best quality product for the best price. In addition to comparing prices, I also created a system for inventory management that was not present before I assumed this role. This system was able to significantly reduce supply ordering errors while also reducing food waste. Although the civilian world is different, I am sure that my first-hand experience with supply chain management will translate into a good baseline of understanding when doing the same for the Navy.
My studies at the University of Florida significantly shaped my leadership and teamwork abilities. While in school, I was given the opportunity to participate in a competition for a mock interview process with Kraft Heinz. My team's job was to review 10 candidates and select the most qualified for the role. Initially, most of my group was unsure of how to proceed, which is when I assumed the role of group leader. I suggested that we start by making a spreadsheet with the list of criteria we were looking for. Then I divided the candidates amongst our group so that everyone was able to review whether or not their candidates satisfied said criterion. I checked in every few days to ensure that we would meet our deadline and assist when needed. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. By acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, you can lean on others who excel in areas where you may have shortcomings. In this example, I excelled at organizing our data but struggled to make it look presentable for the final product. However, one of my teammates had a lot of experience making slideshows and together we were able to make a final product that brought home a first-place trophy.
Being able to commit to a goal and not stop until I’ve accomplished it is something that I think truly defines who I am. This past August, I participated in a triathlon. When I signed up, I knew I had to dedicate time and energy every day to ensure I prepared both mentally and physically for the event. I started training just six months before the race, gradually pushing my limits at every opportunity. Three months before the triathlon, I had to take a six-week break from training due to an unforeseeable accident. This setback was frustrating and discouraging; it would have been easy to make excuses as to why I could no longer do it. Instead, I pushed myself every step of the way. I knew I could not give up. As soon as I was cleared to exercise again, I was back to training. I had lost progress but was still determined to be better than I was before the accident. Later, I discovered that I was also battling bronchitis on the day of the race. All obstacles aside, I fought to finish what I had started. After 6 months of following a rigorous schedule and a lot of hard work, not only did I complete the triathlon, but I finished second in my age and gender bracket.
A supply officer should be organized, a great leader, and adaptable to their circumstances. Throughout my experiences, I feel that these are all qualities that I have built a profound understanding of and an even greater desire to develop further. These qualities not only strengthen my commitment to excel as a supply officer but also align perfectly with the Navy's tradition of excellence. I know that my strong work ethic, desire to succeed, and attention to detail will make me an incredible asset to the Navy and I want nothing more than to be exactly that.