joining the military = selfish?

[Cron]

So I got into a lengthy argument with a female friend last night. I told her of my decision to enlist, and she started going off about how my loved ones will be worried when I'm in a warzone. Ultimately she concluded that I'm selfish for joining and I should never put anyone through such misery.

Granted, deployments put a strain on one's relationships and family, but helping others, making a difference in the world and doing something worthwhile - how is that selfish? All these things require certain sacrifices...If everyone in this country just sat on their friggin' asses where would we be? Admittedly, one of my selfish reasons for joining is wanting to fly, but the whole thing just frustrated the hell out of me.

Thoughts?

 

[D_Rob]

What do you mean by , "Female Friend?"

 

[Brunes]

I don't see how that's selfish- It sounds like it was silly arugment on her part.
You are doing it to fly- Which is improving your self and your knowledge, in addition to ensuring you have a job. It comes with health coverage and a few other perks.
It's FUN too...but that too is a perk.

I don't see why your loved ones wouldn't be worried about you any time you are at work. If it satisfies YOU to be part of the military- then go for it. If your loved ones are that opposed to it-Then you need to talk with them to tell them how you feel and then make peace with your decision for you- One way or the other.

 

[Pugs]

how is that selfish?

It's not. Unless you're going to get laid never speak of her again.

 

[porw0004]

Depending on which subcategory of "female friend" she is, perhaps she's being the selfish one?

 

[wingsB4rings]

I wouldn't expect a person who concludes that "joining the military is a selfish act" to understand much about anything, so if I were you, I'd avoid future "discussions" about anything grown-up-oriented with her to eliminate your frustrations with a person who is obviously brainwashed by the media. While she is watching all that reality tv, you are serving a cause greater than yourself. I applaud your decision. I doubt you'll regret it.

 

[scoolbubba]

myeh, get rid of this "friend." there are lots of other friendly girls out there who won't argue about what you want to do with your life.

 

[Spekkio]

She's angry/upset because she wants to keep you around, and is worried that you'll be killed or something. Your best bet is to let her initiate the next contact with you -- she'll call/email/whatever when she's ready to talk peacefully. At that point, try to explain why you want to join and how it's the most unselfish thing you can think of doing.

 

[Harrier Dude]

This discussion is worthless without pictures of the female friend.

 

[wingsB4rings]

This discussion is worthless without pictures of the female friend.

Hands down the most relevant reply so far.

 

[usmarinemike]

Being in the military is about self sacrifice, which is entirely opposite from selfishness.

Basically, what she fails to understand (and if she's part of the me generation, she won't understand for at least 10 more years) is that when you decide to become a part of a cohesive military unit, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. It's not about yourself and it's not about your family. It's about what you can do to prosecute the destruction of the enemies of the Constitution, and may call for you to give the last greatest measure of self sacrifice.

Tell her to grow up and stop living in whatever weird childhood land she happens to be in.

 

[PropStop]

This discussion is worthless without pictures of the female friend.

Yes, I do not feel that I can be impartial unless there are pictures of this girl presented. If you want objectivity, give us pictures.

 

[Morgan81]

Funny, that is exactly what my ex said when she sent my ass packing before I left for OCS. I didn't get it at the time but put some thought into it afterward.
I don't think she really was thinking about my family when she said it, so what I came up with, is that my girl wanted me around, didn't want to leave her life and didn't want to be a military spouse whose career is always secondary to the service member's. I give her credit for punching out before I got my career going then tagging along and being miserable, but I think the "selfishness" she was referring to, was me putting my aspirations ahead of my relationship with her.
Don't know what your "female friend" is thinking, but I'm pretty sure that was my chick's mindset when she said the same thing.

 

[skidz]

Funny, that is exactly what my ex said when she sent my ass packing before I left for OCS. I didn't get it at the time but put some thought into it afterward.
I don't think she really was thinking about my family when she said it, so what I came up with, is that my girl wanted me around, didn't want to leave her life and didn't want to be a military spouse whose career is always secondary to the service member's. I give her credit for punching out before I got my career going then tagging along and being miserable, but I think the "selfishness" she was referring to, was me putting my aspirations ahead of my relationship with her.
Don't know what your "female friend" is thinking, but I'm pretty sure that was my chick's mindset when she said the same thing.

Dude, that advice comes AFTER the presentation of pics. :icon_tong

 

[phrogpilot73]

Depending on the category of Female Friend, I see two possible responses:

1. Friend with benefits: "You're right. I'm a selfish pig. Now let's get to makin' with the love."

2. Just a friend that's female: "What have YOU done for your fellow man? You're the selfish one, beyatch!"