Is this as insane as it seems?

[mttaggart]

Hi everyone,

I'm a pro-rec'd SNFO, awaiting final select. Things were going just great, and then...

My girlfriend, nigh-fiance, suddenly expressed interest in joining the Navy as well. Except that she wants to learn/use foreign language skills. Evidently this means enlisting for a CTI rating.

I am well aware that to even consider this, we'd have to be married before she enlists so as to keep within fraternization regs.

But my real question is one of feasibility. Can this kind of marriage possibly function? I don't see how scheduling of tours would remotely allow us any semblance of a life, even a Navy life. I'm sure this has happened before, but I don't know what needs to fall into place to allow it to happen. Thoughts?

Thanks in advance. And apologies if I'm terribly inept at searching.

 

[Herc_Dude]

Words ... apologies if I'm terribly inept at searching.

You must be - anybody who spends a few min here knows the AW party line on marriage, especially if you decide to rush a marriage. Stand by for some good responses ...

 

[Flash]

But my real question is one of feasibility. Can this kind of marriage possibly function? I don't see how scheduling of tours would remotely allow us any semblance of a life, even a Navy life. I'm sure this has happened before, but I don't know what needs to fall into place to allow it to happen. Thoughts?

Can it work? Unlikely. That is, unless you want to live apart the entire time that you both would be in the Navy. There are very few places that I am aware of where CTI's are stationed where NFO's are. I have seen several dual-Navy marraiges and even where they were both in the same community, it is difficult to get them stationed together as they progress in their careers. Even then I am unsure of the legality of it, it would be sticky even if it was legal.

 

[dodge]

Waveoff.

 

[Pugs]

There are very few places that I am aware of where CTI's are stationed where NFO's are.

Certainly not enough that are mutually career enhancing.

 

[MasterBates]

1-Look at backup compass.
2-Grab handle
3-PULL

(that's the quick & dirty ejection)

Without even getting into my normal spiel, this has "bad farking idea" written all over it.

More radioactive than Chernobyl. Do not do it.

I don't care if there is a loophole or not. That's geared toward people who are a married enlisted couple and one becomes an Officer.

Did I say this is a bad idea? It's gonna suck, it will pull you apart, and it will not end well.

 

[mttaggart]

Armed with powerful and reputable opinions here, I have successfully dissuaded the lady from thoughts of enlisting. Thanks again, and yeah--I was pretty sure this was perhaps the worst idea since New Coke.

 

[a_m]

So far the only time I had contact with a CTI was SERE. I will say that the one situation that might work would be on EP-3's, but even that would require so many holes to line up that it wouldn't be feasible.

 

[skidz]

Armed with powerful and reputable opinions here, I have successfully dissuaded the lady from thoughts of enlisting. Thanks again, and yeah--I was pretty sure this was perhaps the worst idea since New Coke.

I didn't think that's what some here were expecting, but yall also have to consider yall's relationship verses her career.

Just playing devils advocate.

 

[MasterBates]

Armed with powerful and reputable opinions here, I have successfully dissuaded the lady from thoughts of enlisting. Thanks again, and yeah--I was pretty sure this was perhaps the worst idea since New Coke.

Good. Now onto phase two. Convincing you to at least wait until after your first cruise to not get married. :icon_smil

 

[phrogdriver]

Tell her to go officer, then look at FAO/RAO after her first tour.

 

[Flash]

So far the only time I had contact with a CTI was SERE. I will say that the one situation that might work would be on EP-3's, but even that would require so many holes to line up that it wouldn't be feasible.

Few if any CTI's are stationed in Whidbey, where the EP-3's are. We pick them up on the road.

 

[Uncle Fester]

Won't add to the shotgun-full-of-rock-salt-to-the-tits responses you got about marriage, but I'll throw this out there:

Your special lady is doin' it wrong, job-wise. Bad idea generally to say "I want to join the Navy so I can learn to do X". Much better is to say, "I want to be in the Navy." End of line. Can't say that? Don't join. Cuz, as you'll no doubt learn from perusing AW, the Navy (and Marines, and everybody) has its own fanciful ideas about what job to give you, and what you'd like to do, or even are suited to do, very seldom enter the equation.

That being said...if she wants to join the Navy as an officer, and you both want to embark on the endless parade of rainbows and puppies that is a mil-to-mil marriage, it can be done and has been done by many.

 

[mttaggart]

Fester, as a matter of fact, I made the same point to her, and she agreed. As for me, my desire to be in the Navy is so strong I'd even take black shoes. Happily, looks like I won't have to. :icon_smil

Everything's copasetic now. She's looking at other opportunities for foreign language skills, and we're still happy.

Oh, and the thing about marriage after the first tour? Oh yeah--way ahead of you on that one.

 

[OUSOONER]

yeah..im waiting until after my first cruise to get married as well...just got engaged in fact. this is all contingent on me getting selected in the first place (tomorrow is the board)..if not..just back to the drawing board and reassess as needed. don't rush anything, you may regret it down the road and it will be costly...there is nothing wrong with a long engagement, you are getting into a career that is very unorthodox compared to your civilian bretheren. i say get back into the holding pattern and wait for the weather to pass...

by the way, wise choice by her.