Husband-to-be with a few wedding questions

[red_stang65]

I go to school in San Diego and will be getting commissioned next May, followed by the wedding the next weekend. My fiancee (snowlily) and I have got A LOT of planning taken care of already, but I'm running into some walls when it comes to best man and suits for the fathers. I wanted to get the opinions of some of the ladies here and hopefully some from guys as well...so here goes.
The guy I'm thinking of asking to be my best man has been an awesome friend since high school--he's a definite good choice. However, he's not in the military and the rest of the ushers will be in their whites...what kind of tux should I get this guy? Something that looks similar to whites--choker collar, etc--, or just a white tux? Or, and this I see as more of a sleight against him, should I just have the best man be a friend I'm commissioning with?
Next question: both her dad and mine are retired military (hers a navy commander, mine a marine warrant officer). Would it look better for them to be in dress uniform or tuxes--kinda goes with the same question above, about making everything look right. What are some of your opinions?
Lastly, has anybody seen any decent naval officer themed wedding cake toppers? All the ones I find are either enlisted, or cheap looking...

 

[crysmc]

Congratulations!!!!

Ok, my parents are visiting right now and so them, my husband and I just discussed your situation. The consensus is that your best man should be just that... the best man for the job and your close "awesome" friend sounds like the guy. We ALL voted against a white tux. I think you'd just make him feel silly. At our wedding, although my husband's brother (also the best man) is Air Force, he opted to not wear his uniform and go with the tux that the other two groomsmen were wearing. We didn't care either way what he wore. What matters is the bride and groom anyway, so I don't think it's such a big deal if all the groomsmen don't match. And I think it would be sad to not include such a close friend of yours because it messed up the color scheme, you know? And who cares if he stands out... he's the best man after all! Or they could all wear tuxes...

As far as the dads go, I'd leave the decision up to them as to what they're wearing. I think military uniforms are snazzier than tuxes! You will all look fabulous no matter what you're wearing though.

We couldn't find a cake topper that we really liked. If you PM Kathy on this site, she can link you to a site that painted on her husband's insignia on the groom. Her cake topper was lovely! We gave up on the caketopper and opted for white flowers instead and on the groom's cake (yes, a southern thing) we had an Officer's Crest.

Good luck with your wedding details and if you have any more questions, feel free to PM me or my husband (he's Ben on here).

 

[red_stang65]

Thanks so much for the quick reply...it's ironic you were the first, since I just finished reading your whole wedding experience on here only a few minutes ago. Tell the family I'm greatful for their help, as well.

 

[crysmc]

No problem! Being so fresh off of planning a wedding makes us empathize with all of the little decisions that you end up contemplating to death. :icon_tong

 

[DCLegal]

I went to a wedding last June in which every male in the wedding party was in the military and in uniform except the Best Man. It looked fine and I never thought anything of it. My vote would be to have him just wear a regular black tux.

 

[Cate]

Who has the grid for how long it'll be before someone advises this guy not to get married, because women are "career killers" who slaughter dreams? My money is on four hours.

Back on topic, though, my personal opinion is that any combination of military uniforms and/or tuxes is perfectly acceptable. I've been to a couple of weddings where you could look at the wedding party and guests and think, "Wow, that's a whole bunch of people who are willing to make the ultimate service to their country." It's never, in my eyes, been any kind of a distraction from the service; it kind of adds something to it. If you did want to have some kind of uniformity, you could possibly put your best man in a gray suit instead of a black tux, so there wouldn't be so much of a contrast between him and the guys in white. Do not, I repeat do not, attempt to dress him in a white tux. That is not okay. Although I have a feeling that your fiancee would stop you long before you got to that point. In any event, congratulations on the wedding!

 

[Brett327]

Who has the grid for how long it'll be before someone advises this guy not to get married, because women are "career killers" who slaughter dreams? My money is on four hours.

Mazel tov! That's what I say!

Brett

 

[Kathy]

Here's my cake topper. I bought it from www.lauras-cakes.com. They customize the groom's uniform to match yours. They also customize things like hair color and eye color. I painted the blue bow on the bride to match my dress more - it is typically white.

My husband and an usher wore choker whites. Our sword guys were in blues (they were NROTC and had not been issued choker whites yet). The rest of the guys wore black tuxes. I'd say leave it up to your fiance.

 

[sirenia]

I agree. Do not put your best man in a white tux. I think a black tux would be fine.
In my opinion, it would be very nice for the two fathers to be dressed in their uniforms since there is a military theme to the wedding; however, let them decide and see what they are comfortable wearing. If not uniforms, then black tuxes would go with pretty much everything.

What are your wedding colors?

 

[Brett327]

Here's my cake topper. I bought it from www.lauras-cakes.com. They customize the groom's uniform to match yours. They also customize things like hair color and eye color. I painted the blue bow on the bride to match my dress more - it is typically white.

My husband and an usher wore choker whites. Our sword guys were in blues (they were NROTC and had not been issued choker whites yet). The rest of the guys wore black tuxes. I'd say leave it up to your fiance.

Looks like a Ken (K-K-Ken) doll in choker whites!

Brett

 

[Kathy]

Looks like a Ken (K-K-Ken) doll in choker whites!

Brett

 

[red_stang65]

Wow, Kathy, that's an awesome topper. So I just talked with the fiancee and she thinks the one black tux will break the symmetry of the party...but I'm with you guys, I think a white tux would just seem more weird. Wouldn't everyone want to look at him more and see why he doesn't have all the same gold pieces we have? Anywho...that's a conversation for her and me, plus, we've got time.

Thanks again, everyone, for the great respones...I knew you'd all come through.

 

[red_stang65]

Oh, and the colors are going to be a not-so-bright pink and white...think stargazer lillies pink.

 

[Kathy]

I'm glad you like the cake topper. One note - whatever the price is on their website, add $10 to it for choker whites... for whatever reason...

Are you going to have stargazer lillies in your flowers? If so, I've got pictures of that too.

 

[red_stang65]

yeah, she'll be carrying an arrangement of mostly stargazers...can't have flowers decorating the chapel, though, so just her and the bridesmaids.