Brand new ensign on a submarine, all you need is your PQS book for the first 13 months, and hope you get done by then, becuase if they take down the Gold Dolphin flag because of you lazy ass, then **** bro, you gonna be talking to the man...
Submarines aren't like haze gray ships, we don't have the luxury of a geedunk store. Bring what you can fit in your bedpan and wall locker. As a butter bar O fresh aboard a fast attack, welcome to 9 man! It is fvcking cold in there, so bring the thickest damn blanket you can find. If you are lucky, later on you will move into a 3 man stateroom, but the DH owns the desk, and you are lucky if you get any of the extra room.
Bring a TV or a PS2, forget it. Unless you are 4'9" and have enough extra room in your rack and D batteries to power your tv/ps2, then no way. More than likely, there is one in the wardroom, but unless there are some seriously cool JOs/DHs on that sub (don't believe that is possible), they are just going to call you nub and send you back out to qualify biatch!
Essentials:
- Extra underwear (I'll second that, you never know when the 10k water plant is going to bite the big one, and no more laundry for you!!)
- Log(s) of Coppenhagen or Kodiak, whatever (I don't dip, but you get on week 4 of a supposedly 2 week underway, and that **** is gold on the messdecks if you are unscrupulous enough to sell it at blackmarket values.. cough)
- TOILET PAPER!!! If you don't have an extra role of Charmin at the foot of your bed pan, then you are going to pay one day. The brand new CHOP is going to check into his first sub tour, and BAM, you will be on aforementioned week 4 of a supposed 2 week underway, and suddenly TP rationing starts (which means everyone is going to start hoarding....).
- Shower shoes.... you don't want the funky feet from all the spooge at the bottom of the shower stall...
- Chapstick, not for his pleasure (but on week 4, maybe YOU will be thinking that). Dry atmosphere on subs, cold temp, and low O2 levels, all for electronics and preventing fires. In turn, your lips are going to start chapping. Your call...
- Favorite geedunk. There are so many places to stash stuff on the sub it isnt even funny. I had a couple cases of soda squirrelled away, and asorted granola bars, snacks and treats. Breaks up the monotony of some of the meals. And trust me, there is going to a meal that you are going to go "no friggin way am I eating that!"
I peronally hated the soda on the boat, tasted funny. Ice tea was always good though, and bug juice is only good for cleaning stainless steel. I also had brought a tub thingy of gatorade and country time lemonade, that and my rubber maid tumbler cup, and you have something else to drink besides what those shifty looking CSs are preparing.
- Smut. There is always a smut king on the boat, you just need to figure out who it is, there is probably 10 years worth of accumulated mags on the boat. Didn't see that 90210 chick back in the day? Well, here's your chance! Also, if you are looking for a quick thrill, turn over any placard on the boat, and chances are there is a nice centerfold underneath... Along with the smut, bring your happy sock, wool variety works best! honest!!
As for the smut of girlfriend/wifey... man, strongly DO NOT recommend that one, seen stuff get posted on the boat, and suddenly the crew no longer guesses what the significant other looks like, they KNOW... unless of course you are going to dump her, or the cheating b!tch is sleeping with your best friend back on shore while you are underway (seen that one happen to guys also)... you make the call.
- Double ziplock those civilian clothes! Unless you want to smell like amine and diesel at the local bar in (insert country), keep those civies sealed until you hit port. I mean, nothing says "hey baby" like a reaking sailor.
- Reading material without pics. Everyone has a paperback of some kind sticking out of their poopy suits, usually ships library has some if you forget.
- Today's tech: Mini DVD Player, Game gear/PSP, and of course an MP3 player.
- Ballcap and sneakers. Depending on your boat, you could wear ballcaps underway, and purchase a no shave chit from MWR. Also, as long as you were working forward and not in the engine room, you could wear non steel toe shoes, sneakers, docksiders, whatever with your poopy suit.
- Toiletries. Figure out what you need and double the amount, and throw it in your rack. Buy extra toothbrushes, they get stolen. Also, no foofoo crap, nothing like a closed atmosphere and you rubbing yourself down with Bath and Body works to really get yourself noticed.
Forget the 1000 baht, mooch off of the VP crowd you run into, and let them pay the tab off their per diem.