Damn you MB. You just reminded me of my classic RLP story.
So this dude in our room was a real strange guy. Homeschooled all his life and couldn't get his sh!t together. Completely useless when it came to RLP. His stuff looked like crap and he was still folding at 4am the morning of. Finally at the 10 minute warning he locks his locker ...... only he doesn't remember his combination
. It took one DI and 1 Candio 10 minutes with an M1 Garand smashing the damn thing until it unlocked. Then this kid took another 2 minutes assembling what he had for his table display (yes we were supposed to be at parade rest by this point). Meanwhile the candios are walking in wide eyed screaming "wtf are you doing?" Are you serious? you know you're gonna fail, right?" He doesn't have all the items for his table display, so failure is imminent. He just stands at parade rest and waits for the firing squad.
Then our class chief walks in (he was NOTORIOUS and at times worse than our DI). He looks at this kid and goes "Oh HELL no! You don't have your entire display!? You failed already! You know that, right?". Then he looks at the rest of us. "Did you help your shipmate??" "Yes, sir!". "Oh hell no. Now way you helped him. His stuff looks like sh!t! He doesn't even have all his stuff ready and you're standing there telling me you helped him?". "Yes, sir!". "Oh, hell no. You're all gonna fail now".
So being my 3rd RLP, I'm thinking I'm going to great lakes at this point, and all because our roommate was incompetent.
In walks the officer. He looks at him and goes, "are you fvcking serious? Missing items: automatic failure." He writes the failure down and walks out. The rest of us got our O inspection and then wait for the DIs. The DIs walk in the space and all hell breaks loose.
I am on my rack squatting with the rifle above my head and responding to my DI that, yes, I did in fact help this guy out, but this guy was beyond help.
After our inspections were done and we were cleaning up, we had wondered what happened to our unfortunate roommate. Well the answer came quickly when we heard a knock at the door, the door popped open, and in came the head of our roommate, with a pair of skivvies on his head. He screamed "I am RLP santa-claus!" and tossed various articles of clothing in our room before darting out.
After getting dressed, we rushed outside as instructed and encountered our chief who instructed us to start singing christmas carols because santa was here! So we start singing jingle bells, or at least the first line of jingle bells over and over. When our chief came over to ask why I wasn't singing and I responded that I was jewish, he paused, kinda smirked, and then told me I'd better learn some really quick.
So there we are singing christmas carols for santa, when the next incarnation comes running down the hallway. Our roommate was now wearing a skivvy shirt on his head, and a rack blanket around his neck as a cape and would now open doors and scream "I'm batman" before throwing clothing at the occupants inside.
Needless to say this was just about the funniest damn thing I've ever seen in my life, and although nobody was laughing at the time, this brought us to tears later on, reenacting it.
Although I do feel bad for that guy. This environment was clearly not for him, and he had some big issues with coping with the stress.
