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This is a question to all the parents out there. I am currently trying to get into Marine Corps OCS. My parents are dead set against it, because they feel I am throwing my education away. Just curious what light you could shed on teh situation. Thanks for any advice.
I don't know the whole story, but it is generally a true statement that people usually hate what the don't understand or even know the facts about. The statement, "shoot first and then ask quesitons," comes to mind. Do what is right for you, not your parents! You are the only one that has to live with yourself.
It's YOUR life. Both of my parents were total hippies (even Dad, a former Sailor). But they saw my desire and drive and backed it. For years they questioned my decision. One of my favorite memories was getting off a plane back home after 4 months of Afghanistan missions immediately after Sept 11. My entire immediate family was there and they had nothing but 100% positive things to say to me, which is exactly what I needed. If they are half of what they are supposed to be, your family will accept and eventually support your decision.
It's your life. I know this sounds kind of harsh but many parents often seem to want what would be the easiest...life for their kids(be a lawyer/doctor and retire at 40, and the like) not what's best for them.
Like everyone else here pretty much summed it up - it is your life - you are a completely different person from your parents, so, make your choices accordingly.
Are you wanting to convince your parents you are doing the right thing? (This question assumes that you are going through with your application and will take the chance if given the opportunity, even if it goes against your parents' will)
Talk with your OSO - I'm sure he/she would be glad to give you contact info of people that are already in TBS or are in their MOS training - your parents could talk with their parents and get a no-crap assessment of how it really is. (Don't ever give them the Marine brochures - I'm always a sucker for "The Few, The Proud," but I can probably gurantee that your parents will want more insight than that - except for that article in Inc. Magazine about TBS - that might be a good one for them - ask your OSO about that one.) Maybe give them information on TBS - how much responsibility you will have when you graduate, as compared to the "real world." I'm never good with spoken words - I usually say something I regret - I'd write a letter to them - giving your reasons and explain your desire and passion for your choice.
It is not going to be an overnight change. My parents took a good 6 years (from the beginning of college until now) for them to realize no matter how hard they try - I'm not like them - I have different goals and desires and passion. Don't force the issue, or be impatient - just let it run its course and keep showing them every day through every adversity that this is the life you choose.
Look, I know it can be hard to go against what your parents want, but that's the key, what your parents want doesn't matter. It is your life now. The military is a professional, honorable career choice, despite what they may believe. And they will turn around once they see what you are doing. I find that lots of parents are stuck in the 60-70's frame of mind when it comes to the military, they don't have a clue. Do what you believe is right, they will come around.
Originally posted by Fly Navy
I find that lots of parents are stuck in the 60-70's frame of mind when it comes to the military, they don't have a clue. Do what you believe is right, they will come around.
Amen! I find that a lot of parents and people of their age relate the military to what it was like when they were younger. I'm a civilian, and from just reading books I've found that much has changed in today's military. Make sure you read One of Us by Jack Ruppert. It's an awesome read on how the Corps has changed from when he (the author) went through OCS and TBS 50 years ago, compared to today's OCS and TBS. The parents cannot be prouder of the work that you'll do. I know. I've been forunate to witness a Parris Island graduation for my cousin. Even though it was on the enlisted side of the house, it was still an incredible moment to be there. Talk about pride...
Also, get them to read BOGIES and BANDITS. It's a really good book that follows a group of students through a F/A-18 FRS at Cecil field. It discusses the good point and bad points of flying, as well as discusses some of the inherant risks involved. Good luck man.
Another book to add to your growing reading list is "Keeping Faith" by John and Frank Schaeffer. Frank, the father, is a writer from the Northeast part of the country whos peers all drive volvos, wear birkenstocks, and send their children to exclusive, expensive colleges. John is his youngest child who decides to join the Marine Corps (thereby joining one of the most exclusive brotherhood, really) It chronicles John's life thru boot camp and MCT (I think he's an intel bubba.. can't remember), and Frank's reactions to his son's challenges, changes, etc. Sometimes a little too touchy-feely for me, but still a good read overall. I got a copy for my troopies to to read and recommend to their parents too. It went over pretty well.
I had the same problem with my parents trying to join the military. I wanted to join after highschool but then made a compromise with them saying that I would finish my college then join.(they want me to go to college to see how it is to be on my own. I have no problem with that and understand them) So I am ending up going to Embry Riddle, then will go Navy right after. So you might also try the same way I did and compromise and do college then military.
Already made the comprimise; graduated last Spring. I already have my packet submitted and am just waiting for acceptance. The books have been very informative; however. Thank you for the support guys.
Do what you want and your parents will come around. They may not like it, but you are their child and I'm sure they will support you. I wanted to join right after high school and in my house it was understood that college was next. Well, I ended up marrying a Marine at 20 and have regretted everyday of my life not joining and serving myself. I think about it all the time and it's something that eats at me alot. Please follow your dream. You will regret it if you don't, and I would hope they would feel terrible for keeping you from something you really wanted. Maybe someone else could talk to them and explain the military a little more.
I hope this helps and I wish I could emphasize it strongly enough how much I regret not doing it. good luck to you and again please follow your dream.