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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

bjjhelm

Just send it
You know the boards don’t really read these statements, right?

Haha yes i actually read your post earlier but i figured why not have a second opinion. Can't hurt i guess.

@RUFiO181 I noticed you posting this and asked my recruiter about it the other day, who said that yes, they really do read each and every one. Are there two camps of thinking here? My understanding was that the statement stands in place of an interview, which can make or break a person in any other profession.
 

FormerRecruitingGuru

Making Recruiting Great Again
@RUFiO181 I noticed you posting this and asked my recruiter about it the other day, who said that yes, they really do read each and every one. Are there two camps of thinking here? My understanding was that the statement stands in place of an interview, which can make or break a person in any other profession.

I had an applicant write 3-4 sentences and was selected (auto-qual).
 

colonial-aviation

Intermediate Jet
Now that motivational statements matter, I think I'll put mine on the chopping block:

I’ll confess to a fair degree of sentimentality. That is one of many reasons that I wish to be a Naval Aviator. The stories my dad tells, some of them even true, of his life as an aviator during the heyday of Naval Aviation were and are inspirational to me. I’d like to be able to tell stories like that to my son someday. More important than having material to build fiction out of after I’ve hung up the flight suit, however, is the comradeship and sense of purpose and unity that I will have with my fellow aviators, flight officers, and enlisted personnel during and after my service. These are relationships forged in a crucible of service to country and each other that transcend time, distance, and self. These bonds are the bread of life that can sustain us for all time. No other community in the military has the same unique blend of comradery, professionalism, and adventure as Naval Aviation does, and I am eager to join those men and women.
The history of Naval Aviation, too, serves as inspiration. The trailblazing flights of Eugene Ely in 1911 began a glorious profession, one that has proven its mettle and worth time and again. The dark early months of World War Two saw an emasculated USN strike back at an enemy who seemed vast and implacable, and humbled him during the Marshall-Gilberts raids, and avenged Pearl Harbor several times over at Midway. Aviators such as John P. Waldron, Wade McClusky, and Dick Best are inspirational to me. I’d like nothing more than to be an inheritor of the history that Naval Aviation has made. I cannot imagine a higher honor.
I don’t want to be an aviator just for the above reasons, of course. I love flight more than anything, and it is something I have the capacity to be excellent at doing. Everything about it gets me excited, from the violence of g’s pushing me into my seat as I practice aerobatics in an American Champion Citabria to the peace and seclusion of a night cross country in the ubiquitous Cessna 172. The keenness of focus I feel on final, the great release of tension that comes when the tires squeal against the runway, and the satisfaction of a well-executed flight are all sublime pleasures that I look forward to as I preflight my craft and fumble with the restraints as my instructor waits patiently for me. John Gillespie Magee’s poem perfectly captures how flying makes me feel, and I’m not ashamed to say that when I read that poem I get misty eyed. There is an inherent beauty and spirituality to flight, and it lifts something within the body and soul. Anyone who truly loves to fly will feel the same way, even if it isn’t expressed with ocular moistness. And with the Navy, I could get to fly for a living! A match made in Heaven! The opportunity to pilot one of the many incredible machines the US Navy has in its vast inventory is one too exciting to pass up, and I do my best with every flight to show I’m good enough to earn the right to one day wear the wings of gold.
There’s nothing more I’d like to do than be a Naval Aviator, and I ask the board to grant me the opportunity to make my dream a reality. The road won't be easy, and I have no illusions, but its a challenge I am eager to accept should the board extend it to me.
 

cameronb1998

New Member
Hello Friends heres some motivation that id like any advice on


My desire to serve in the military was sparked at a very young age with military service engrained deep into my family history. My Father is my main motivation to be an officer in the Navy, he recently retired from the Air Force as a Chief Master Sergeant and is someone I have looked up to my whole life. My Grandfather is another large motivator for my desire to serve he retired from the Army as a First Sergeant after serving two tours in Vietnam, he is the bravest man I know and carrying on his legacy would be a great honor. Having never been around the aviation community growing up my interest in this career was initially peaked after seeing the USS Theodore Roosevelt while in San Diego, admittedly Top Gun helped as well. After doing more research and talking to a Navy helicopter maintainer I discovered how unique the Naval Aviation community is. Naval Aviation was described to me as a community with a great sense of comradery where officers and enlisted work hand in hand, a community where a love for adventure is engrained in the culture. I am eager to join these men and women among the ranks of Naval Aviation.
Excellence is always something I have strived for in my life not only academically but in my community as well. Within the next year I will be graduating from Colorado State University with a degree in Supply Chain Management after graduating high school less than two years ago. Throughout my life I have done many things that I believe will help make myself a great Naval Officer. Many of these activities have helped improve my teamwork skills, leadership, and selflessness all of which are essential to be a Military Officer, especially in the Aviation community. I have more than 150 hours volunteering in an emergency room in Georgia where working together as a team is not an option, similar to how an aircraft team operates. I have worked in many high stress jobs and this is where I believe I thrive, thinking about working on an air craft carrier and scrambling to get to your aircraft makes my heart beat faster out of pure excitement.
I do believe my experience working as a team in high stress settings such as emergency rooms, warehouses, and restaurants will help me be a better Navy Officer, Leader, and Aviator, but I am a firm believer in experience is not everything. When looking for candidates to trust in flying aircraft worth more than 3,000 Honda accords I believe having an unwavering desire to serve our country as an Aviator is the most important trait. Being either a Naval Flight Officer or a Pilot is something that keeps up at night thinking of eventually being on the runway of an aircraft carrier getting ready to takeoff to help support any of the Navy operations. I ask the board to give me the opportunity to attend Officer Candidate School, and allow me the chance to serve our country as an aviator in the World`s best Navy.
 

Wind-Jammer

Well-Known Member
Now that motivational statements matter, I think I'll put mine on the chopping block:

I’ll confess to a fair degree of sentimentality. That is one of many reasons that I wish to be a Naval Aviator. The stories my dad tells, some of them even true, of his life as an aviator during the heyday of Naval Aviation were and are inspirational to me. I’d like to be able to tell stories like that to my son someday. More important than having material to build fiction out of after I’ve hung up the flight suit, however, is the comradeship and sense of purpose and unity that I will have with my fellow aviators, flight officers, and enlisted personnel during and after my service. These are relationships forged in a crucible of service to country and each other that transcend time, distance, and self. These bonds are the bread of life that can sustain us for all time. No other community in the military has the same unique blend of comradery, professionalism, and adventure as Naval Aviation does, and I am eager to join those men and women.
The history of Naval Aviation, too, serves as inspiration. The trailblazing flights of Eugene Ely in 1911 began a glorious profession, one that has proven its mettle and worth time and again. The dark early months of World War Two saw an emasculated USN strike back at an enemy who seemed vast and implacable, and humbled him during the Marshall-Gilberts raids, and avenged Pearl Harbor several times over at Midway. Aviators such as John P. Waldron, Wade McClusky, and Dick Best are inspirational to me. I’d like nothing more than to be an inheritor of the history that Naval Aviation has made. I cannot imagine a higher honor.
I don’t want to be an aviator just for the above reasons, of course. I love flight more than anything, and it is something I have the capacity to be excellent at doing. Everything about it gets me excited, from the violence of g’s pushing me into my seat as I practice aerobatics in an American Champion Citabria to the peace and seclusion of a night cross country in the ubiquitous Cessna 172. The keenness of focus I feel on final, the great release of tension that comes when the tires squeal against the runway, and the satisfaction of a well-executed flight are all sublime pleasures that I look forward to as I preflight my craft and fumble with the restraints as my instructor waits patiently for me. John Gillespie Magee’s poem perfectly captures how flying makes me feel, and I’m not ashamed to say that when I read that poem I get misty eyed. There is an inherent beauty and spirituality to flight, and it lifts something within the body and soul. Anyone who truly loves to fly will feel the same way, even if it isn’t expressed with ocular moistness. And with the Navy, I could get to fly for a living! A match made in Heaven! The opportunity to pilot one of the many incredible machines the US Navy has in its vast inventory is one too exciting to pass up, and I do my best with every flight to show I’m good enough to earn the right to one day wear the wings of gold.
There’s nothing more I’d like to do than be a Naval Aviator, and I ask the board to grant me the opportunity to make my dream a reality. The road won't be easy, and I have no illusions, but its a challenge I am eager to accept should the board extend it to me.

I'll toss my two cents in, I was a little confused at the first paragraph, the wording makes it difficult to comprehend what you're writing. I'm not sure if maybe you forgot a line or two at the beginning.

You definitely have a passion for navy aviation and show that by name dropping aviators and their accomplishments, I really don't think you need that in there.
At the end I thought to myself, he definitely has the passion to be in aviation but does he have a passion to be a navy leader/officer.
Definitely mentioning the love of aviation is good but you should definitely mention more about why your suited for a career as a naval officer.

When I wrote mine, I based it off of this criteria.
1. Why the navy, 2. What I can do for the navy 3. What the navy can do for me.

If you have any other questions PM me. Hope this helps
 

colonial-aviation

Intermediate Jet
I'll toss my two cents in, I was a little confused at the first paragraph, the wording makes it difficult to comprehend what you're writing. I'm not sure if maybe you forgot a line or two at the beginning.

You definitely have a passion for navy aviation and show that by name dropping aviators and their accomplishments, I really don't think you need that in there.
At the end I thought to myself, he definitely has the passion to be in aviation but does he have a passion to be a navy leader/officer.
Definitely mentioning the love of aviation is good but you should definitely mention more about why your suited for a career as a naval officer.

When I wrote mine, I based it off of this criteria.
1. Why the navy, 2. What I can do for the navy 3. What the navy can do for me.

If you have any other questions PM me. Hope this helps

Your points are well taken! I’ll admit this was a bit of a rush job when I thought I might still have made the October board so it is a bit rough.
 

bryanteagle6

Well-Known Member
rufio181 added this to the IWC DCO board thread that just convened. It is from the information that the board released about what they saw and what they are looking for. This is an part from the document that discussed moto. I would assume every community is different but I wanted to put this here to help ppl with their moto statement.

d. An emphasis should be placed on the candidate’s education, professional experience/certifications, leadership experience/ potential (commensurate with years of experience), personal character, and strong motivational statement. The most effective motivational statement should clearly articulate why the candidate desires a commission in the U.S. Navy Reserve, the IWC and the primary designator (i.e., first designator request in APSR). The applicant should address career aspirations, personal strengths, skills, leadership philosophy, and how they will contribute throughout their Naval career. The motivational statement should not merely rehash the resume, but should articulate applicability of the candidate’s skillset to the primary designator choice.

e. Candidates should clearly explain any adverse areas in their application. In such a competitive review process, any unexplained or ambiguous issues were generally not favorably considered for “best fit” within the “whole person” concept.
 

BackOrdered

Well-Known Member
Contributor
e. Candidates should clearly explain any adverse areas in their application. In such a competitive review process, any unexplained or ambiguous issues were generally not favorably considered for “best fit” within the “whole person” concept.

This one can't be stressed enough.
 

ATIS

Well-Known Member
The most effective motivational statement should clearly articulate why the candidate desires a commission in the U.S. Navy Reserve

"I want to put my HUD pipper on the enemy and vent his/her brains through their instrument panel."

Too Strong?
 

SAR Guy

Member
I just wanted to give some unsolicited advice in case anyone's looking for it.

Maybe 75% of the motivational statements in this thread center around family history (i.e. my dad, grandpa, mom, etc. served honorably and I want to be them/make them proud/honor their legacy), how passionate you are for "being in the Navy" (i.e. I can't wait to call myself an officer, wear the uniform, drink the kool-aid), and brag about how much you know about Naval/Aviation history (i.e. I love large ships like the [FIRST RESULT ON GOOGLE] and [FAMOUS NAVAL FIGURE] was so honorable/respectable/wondrous).

None of the above is what the Board wants to see.

What are YOU going to bring to the Navy? Why do THEY want YOU? Focus on the duties of the job, not your father's father's accomplishments. Not your love for the idea of being in the Navy. Not your passion, or that you've wanted it your whole life, or that you can't wait to be CALLED an officer.

What they want to know: Are you going to ride out the suck that inevitably comes with military life? If so, when did you demonstrate you can do that? What have you contributed to your previous workplaces - have you brought in new customers, brought innovative ideas, stayed on through difficult situations? When have you showed actual, tangible leadership skills, whether that's peer leadership or having direct authority? Do you contribute to your community in a meaningful way? Are you a competent, responsible, realistic person? Can you write something about your accomplishments that isn't just a reflection of your resume or work history? When have you actually demonstrated the values the Navy holds, instead of just blatantly saying you like/agree with them?

Don't take my word for it, ask around. But it can be a little frustrating reading all these statements that contain zero substance of what applicants actually bring to the table.
 

LindseyRuth

OCS Bound
I just wanted to give some unsolicited advice in case anyone's looking for it.

Maybe 75% of the motivational statements in this thread center around family history (i.e. my dad, grandpa, mom, etc. served honorably and I want to be them/make them proud/honor their legacy), how passionate you are for "being in the Navy" (i.e. I can't wait to call myself an officer, wear the uniform, drink the kool-aid), and brag about how much you know about Naval/Aviation history (i.e. I love large ships like the [FIRST RESULT ON GOOGLE] and [FAMOUS NAVAL FIGURE] was so honorable/respectable/wondrous).

None of the above is what the Board wants to see.

What are YOU going to bring to the Navy? Why do THEY want YOU? Focus on the duties of the job, not your father's father's accomplishments. Not your love for the idea of being in the Navy. Not your passion, or that you've wanted it your whole life, or that you can't wait to be CALLED an officer.

What they want to know: Are you going to ride out the suck that inevitably comes with military life? If so, when did you demonstrate you can do that? What have you contributed to your previous workplaces - have you brought in new customers, brought innovative ideas, stayed on through difficult situations? When have you showed actual, tangible leadership skills, whether that's peer leadership or having direct authority? Do you contribute to your community in a meaningful way? Are you a competent, responsible, realistic person? Can you write something about your accomplishments that isn't just a reflection of your resume or work history? When have you actually demonstrated the values the Navy holds, instead of just blatantly saying you like/agree with them?

Don't take my word for it, ask around. But it can be a little frustrating reading all these statements that contain zero substance of what applicants actually bring to the table.

SAR Guy, thank you so much for your post. I have been scouring the internet for a good explanation of what to write in the motivational statement for my upcoming board, and until your post I was at a loss. It helped me effectively direct my essay and now I have a solid 2 pages single spaced. I'm going to ask my recruiter and others to review it for grammar and content before submitting. Thanks again!
 
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