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Need jokes for AOM

CommodoreMid said:
It's a long one.

So there's this family, a mother and a father and their four year old son..."
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Good one. But only an NFO could tell this joke. I can't envision assembling the brain bytes required to tell this joke under any circumstance that doesn't at least start off with controlsreleasefeetoffrudderpedalsaltitudeaoaairspeedcheckifstilloutofcontrol....
 
Michail Gorbachev was giving a speech at some US university and was asked his opinion of what would have been different if Nikita Khrushchev had been assassinated instead of JFK. His answer: "Aristotle Onassis would never have married Mrs. Khrushchev."

 
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks softly, stroking his face with both
hands. "Actually, no" the man replies.

"Can you get him for me?" she asks. "I need to speak to him," she
says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't but is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues
huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and
allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him", she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
 
flaps said:
Michail Gorbachev was giving a speech at some US university and was asked his opinion of what would have been different if Nikita Khrushchev had been assassinated instead of JFK. His answer: "Aristotle Onassis would never have married Mrs. Khrushchev."
Click to expand...

Who are Mikhail Gorbachev and Nikita Khruschev?
 
Q- How many (Phrog/H-2/H-3/F-14/etc.) guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A- Ten. One to do it while the rest tell you how great it was in the ( old aircraft ).

Variation: Instead of saying "the rest to tell you how great it was..." use specific names of your squadron mates.
 
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