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What I learned on my trip through O'Hare and Frankfurt

Fly Navy

Fly Navy

...Great Job!
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
A) Never fly without an iPod or some other music device. It will work wonders for drowning out jet noise, crying baby noise, etc when trying to sleep. I stick it on my Classical genre and I tune out.

B) As much as I hate Atlanta, it is true, there are an AMAZING amount of attractive females that go through there.

C) You haven't experienced misery until you fly on a CRJ and you're seated next to a woman that is so fat, she doesn't fit in her seat, requires a lap-belt extension, and doesn't stop panting for the entire flight. Disgusting.
 
IRfly

IRfly

Registered User
None
Annoying kids, fat people, etc...All bad. But lay off the babies...It's not their fault that their parents crammed them into a nightmare for 9-10 hours. And one day, when all you now-single guys experience the wonders of parenthood, you'll have a lot more sympathy for those going through it now.
 
Fly Navy

Fly Navy

...Great Job!
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
IRfly said:
Annoying kids, fat people, etc...All bad. But lay off the babies...It's not their fault that their parents crammed them into a nightmare for 9-10 hours. And one day, when all you now-single guys experience the wonders of parenthood, you'll have a lot more sympathy for those going through it now.
Click to expand...

Babies are annoying when they scream on a plane, but, you're right, they're babies. Now, little kids that kick the sh!t out of the back of your seat... no excuse.
 
snizo

snizo

Supply Officer
Rossi - maybe thats why ATL seems like such chaos. Its smaller (physically) but handles more people. ATL just seems a lot more packed with people than ORD did.

From last comic standing the other night:
(Man on an airplane with whiny little kid in the seat infront of him)
Kid: HI!!!!!!!!
Man: (politely ignores)
Kid: HI!!!!!!!!
Man: No - please turn around
Kid: HI!!!!!!!!
Man: Stewardess - this kid just said "bomb"
:)
 
Coota0

Coota0

Registered User
None
Fly Navy said:
You haven't experienced misery until you fly on a CRJ and you're seated next to a woman that is so fat, she doesn't fit in her seat, requires a lap-belt extension, and doesn't stop panting for the entire flight. Disgusting.
Click to expand...

Are fatties still forced to buy two seats on Southwest?

This began as a smartass remark about fatties, until it occurred to me that I wasn’t sure that Southwest was still requiring fatties to buys two seats. Instead I asked because I knew if I was even slightly wrong I would be berated forever for it. (Why I used spell check too.)
 
tiger84

tiger84

LT
pilot
An iPod or other mp3 player is key to staying sane back in coach. I also try to travel with my laptop as much as possible so that I can watch a movie or even break out the good old NES emulator. There's nothing like a little Super Mario Brothers 3 on a coast to coast.
 
tiger84

tiger84

LT
pilot
nittany03 said:
Oh, and there are two rules of airline travel which every single guy should remember. To wit:

1) If there is a hot chick on your flight, she will not be seated next to you.

2) If Rule #1 is violated and she is seated next to you, she will choose to ignore you for the entire flight.
Click to expand...

The first and only time I've been seated next to even a mildly attractive girl on a flight I was promptly reseated by a flight attendant so that two people travelling together could be in the same row. I hope they enjoyed the flight as much as the fatty I got put next to.
 
nittany03

nittany03

Recovering NFO. Herder of Programmers.
pilot
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
tiger84 said:
The first and only time I've been seated next to even a mildly attractive girl on a flight I was promptly reseated by a flight attendant so that two people travelling together could be in the same row. I hope they enjoyed the flight as much as the fatty I got put next to.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I confirmed the rule when flying home for Christmas; I was next to a fairly good looking girl, but she seemed hellbent on avoiding all opportunities for even the smallest of small talk until she got her Ipod turned on and thus walled off the outside world. Sheesh. I didn't think I was THAT creepy looking.
 
DanMa1156

DanMa1156

Is it baseball season yet?
pilot
Contributor
nittany03 said:
Oh, and there are two rules of airline travel which every single guy should remember. To wit:

1) If there is a hot chick on your flight, she will not be seated next to you.

2) If Rule #1 is violated and she is seated next to you, she will choose to ignore you for the entire flight.
Click to expand...

Schnugg can confirm that in fact, both of these rules were broken on my trip back to the Academy. Unfortunately, she seemed to think that a 2 year difference was significant. Regardless, got the number without ever even asking.

Yeah, I patted myself on the back. :)
 
goosegagnon2

goosegagnon2

Member
About a year ago my mother and I were traveling across the states to visit family and we picked seats having two tickets. Not really caring which one, I just grab the window seat which for some reason was seperated in back from my mother about 8 rows up. I board first since I am seated in the back and the next thing I know I see my mother sit down with an empty seat next to her, I also had an empty seat next to me as well. Then this hot ass chick sits starts to board the plane, like something out of a shampoo commercial in slow-mo...I'm like ...god yes....two seats left its either my mother or me...

she sits down next to my mother...

the seat I could have had..

fvck...
 
A4sForever

A4sForever

BTDT OLD GUY
pilot
Contributor
goosegagnon2 said:
....Then this hot ass chick sits starts to board ....she sits down next to my mother...the seat I could have had...
Click to expand...
Do you suppose it's because you were sitting there looking like this ???

.... 'Cause that's not a "good" look ... :)

desperateif1.jpg
 
Steve Wilkins

Steve Wilkins

Teaching pigs to dance, one pig at a time.
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
goosegagnon2 said:
About a year ago my mother and I were traveling across the states to visit family and we picked seats having two tickets. Not really caring which one, I just grab the window seat which for some reason was seperated in back from my mother about 8 rows up. I board first since I am seated in the back and the next thing I know I see my mother sit down with an empty seat next to her, I also had an empty seat next to me as well. Then this hot ass chick sits starts to board the plane, like something out of a shampoo commercial in slow-mo...I'm like ...god yes....two seats left its either my mother or me...

she sits down next to my mother...

the seat I could have had..

fvck...
Click to expand...
And yet, you didn't have the balls to tell your Mom to get the hell up out of her seat and move to the back.
 
Intruder Driver

Intruder Driver

All Weather Attack
pilot
I was on a USAir flight a few years ago which happened to be the day after another round of pay concessions were announced. It wasn't a long flight, but beverage service was discontinued because of turbulence and the flight crew came on the loudspeaker and asked the flight attendants to take their seat. As they were rolling the beverage cart toward the back of the aircraft, one irate man gave one of the female attendants a piece of his mind about USAir's service when she refudes to stop and prepare him a drink, to which she replied, "Well, sir, you must first understand our motto. We're not happy until you're not happy." Pretty priceless.
 
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