For the new folks, this is why we do not speculate on mishaps...

[Flash]

I don't see a problem as long as the text is kept between them.

And that is the problem, a good number of wives don't or can't keep stuff like that to themselves for a variety of reasons. Sure, some are okay about stuff like that but heaven forbid one of the blabbermouths gets a call like that and promptly posts it on Facebook, twitters it and calls every other wife she knows.

There was a reason that Milhouse from my first squadron didn't get to play in all the off-duty reindeer games with the other JOs, he told everything to his wife and she told everyone else on the Rock back home, usually embellished with a glint in her eye.

Don't be that guy.

 

[Harrier Dude]

Plus, you're going to scare the shit out of your wife someday when you either don't know that there has been a mishap or can't get to a phone.

No news is good news.

If the skipper comes to the door in a flight suit: I've probably crashed but am ok.

If he (or anybody) comes to the door in alphas: not good. Not necessarily dead, but still not good.

 

[SynixMan]

Thanks gents. We always talk about privilege in the sense of not blabbing to the media/facebook, but never heard it put this way. I'll explain that to Mrs. Synix.

 

[BusyBee604]

If he (or anybody) comes to the door in alphas: not good. Not necessarily dead, but still not good.

In Lemoore during NVN Yankee Station ops, it was the dreaded base CO's black sedan (hearsemobile) cruising slowly down the street of base housing or out in town, with 4 occupants, CO, Chaplain, Flight Surgeon & CACO. Pure terror for wives & dependents! Was a near daily occurrence 1965-'67 & 1972-'73.
BzB

 

[Harrier Dude]

Thanks gents. We always talk about privilege in the sense of not blabbing to the media/facebook, but never heard it put this way. I'll explain that to Mrs. Synix.

Good policy about not blabbing, but it's got nothing to do with privilege. Totally different thing.

 

[Harrier Dude]

In Lemoore during NVN Yankee Station ops, it was the dreaded base CO's black sedan (hearsemobile) cruising slowly down the street of base housing or out in town, with 4 occupants, CO, Chaplain, Flight Surgeon & CACO. Pure terror for wives & dependents! Was a near daily occurrence 1965-'67 & 1972-'73.
BzB

I had to do a CACO notification in base housing. It was one of the worst, most awful experiences of my life.

Want to feel truly unwelcome? Put on your alphas, grab the Chaplain, and walk around base housing. People look at you with pure dread. They all stop and stare.

 

[707guy]

Good reasons all - another point of view I hadn't thought of before.

 

[rondebmar]

In Lemoore during NVN Yankee Station ops, it was the dreaded base CO's black sedan (hearsemobile) cruising slowly down the street of base housing or out in town, with 4 occupants, CO, Chaplain, Flight Surgeon & CACO. Pure terror for wives & dependents! Was a near daily occurrence 1965-'67 & 1972-'73.
BzB

Lived off base just to the south of the Hanford - Armona Rd, in a corner lot during that time ...'65-'68. Had a clear view across a large empty field to the highway ...wife (& I when around) could watch the staff car turn south into our development - around 150 homes, most all occupied by NA's. We (she) had that experience many times ...not pleasant at all, with all your friends/neighbors on (or between) deployment to Dixie/Yankee Station.

 

[scoober78]

I had to do a CACO notification in base housing. It was one of the worst, most awful experiences of my life.

Want to feel truly unwelcome? Put on your alphas, grab the Chaplain, and walk around base housing. People look at you with pure dread. They all stop and stare.

From another who's done it...It doesn't matter where you go. People know why you are there. Toughest thing I've done as a Naval Officer.

 

[rondebmar]

From another who's done it...It doesn't matter where you go. People know why you are there. Toughest thing I've done as a Naval Officer.

Try doing it for your youngest brother!! Couple weeks after separating from my USN ten year career, I was back at home of record awaiting new hire class with UAL. Had a brief but intense two/three day visit with my brother, just prior to his shipping out with 101st Airborne, Delta Co. Within the month, he was reported KIA during a firefight.
Assigned CACO was a very young, very junior, very inexperienced commissioned officer (USAF?) from a nearby Nike site.
Wife & I met with him immediately upon our arrival at the family home, where my mother & and other brothers had gathered. Wasn't easy on any front, but was able to put him somewhat at ease, and took some of the more non-military duties off his hands. He rested much easier after our chat ...

 

[ea6bflyr]

As the squadron's OPSO during our fatal mishap, the first thing we did was to throw all of our cell phones into a basket. The safety officer then locked them up until the PNOK notifications were made. It is unfair to text or call ones spouse when PNOK notifications are being made, so don't do it.

I was also CACO for PNOK notification.

Both of these jobs were gut wrenching and I hope to never have to do it again.

-ea6bflyr

 

[scoober78]

Try doing it for your youngest brother!!

I can't fathom. Sorry for your loss.

On a lighter note, thanks for your service Sir, and bring on the Spad stories! I've always thought it would be a fun aircraft to strap on.

 

[BusyBee604]

Had a brief but intense two/three day visit with my brother, just prior to his shipping out with 101st Airborne, Delta Co. Within the month, he was reported KIA during a firefight....

Ron, didn't know that, my belated sympathies... and a solemn salute for your Brother's supreme sacrifice.
BzB

 

[blackbart22]

After my last crash, the XO, chaplain, and a friend from Ops went to our house in Ridgecrest to tell my wife. The gas company was scheduled to check some of the pipes that day, so when she looked through the peep hole and saw three guys in short sleeeved khaki shirts, she thought it was them. She didn't panic until the first words out of my friends mouth were "He's still alive.'

 

[GroundPounder]

I've done many death notifications ( civilian law enforcement ) and although they are different that what you are specifically talking about, I have noticed a big change in how they go since the cell phone era. In most cases before everyone had a cell phone, we were the first to talk to and inform a family of the death and how it happened. When doing this we try and have as much information as we can, so that we can give accurate answers to the questions that are always posed by the next of kin. Now in many cases the family has been told of the death by someone that was told by someone else, and they have been given either false or partial information about the event. When we come on the scene and say something contrary to what they think happened it's a recipe for trouble. It's very hard to get a family to believe anything that you say that contravenes what they were first told, and complicates getting their assistance when we need it to continue an investigation.

It has been my experience that making these notifications have been the hardest and most mentally taxing duty that I have had in law enforcement.